There was admiration in the jaguar’s thoughts. Wonder that a child could be so protective that she would endure torture and even certain death so Brodrick the Terrible couldn’t get to her jaguar.
I was unhurt, and the moment he tossed her outside on the pile of dead and dying, I acted to stop her bleeding. I couldn’t allow attention to be called to her. I didn’t want them to know she still lived because they were in a killing frenzy. I just ensured she wouldn’t bleed to death.
Sarika gave the cat a serene smile. One of admiration.Again, you saved her life.
She saved mine,the jaguar corrected.
As she grew, it is clear you wanted her to have a relationship as a woman. You encouraged her to allow herself to be feminine.
Again, the cat sighed. She sank down onto her haunches and then stretched out, no longer a threat. If anything, she was in a vulnerable position.She wouldn’t listen. I don’t think she could listen. Being a woman made her feel too vulnerable. Jaguars submit to their mates. She was extremely submissive in that regard, and she despised that trait in herself. She saw it as weakness. She vowed a man would never have dominance over her.
Sarika allowed that information to sink in. Allowed the jaguar to understand what she’d just revealed.You wanted so much more for her, didn’t you?
The jaguar rested her head on her paws.Yes. There were times I wanted her to have someone else watching over her. Comforting her. I couldn’t hold her when she cried. More and more, she would stay in the jaguar form rather than her human one so she wouldn’t have to cope with so much sorrow alone.
And despite her insistence, and she probably was impatient and annoyed when you persisted, you continued to counsel her to allow herself to be a woman as well as a warrior, didn’t you? You wanted the best for her.
Tomas went still inside. Sarika had led the cat to the only real conclusion that made sense. It was the jaguar who had persuaded Solange to accept Dominic. From the beginning, when Solange had come into her teens, the cat had worked on her to be more than one-sided.
He saw that exact moment when the jaguar realized she had been the one to open the door for Dominic. He was unfailingly gentle with Solange. In public, they presented as two equal warriors. He respected her abilities in a fight and didn’t attempt to force her into staying at home and waiting for him. She fought at his side as an equal.
It is only at home that Solange shows him her feminine side. She still has trouble, even with him, and he is unfailingly gentle with her. He always allows her to choose what she will do for him when they are alone. What she will wear. When they are alone, he prefers a certain type of clothing, and she feels vulnerable in those garments,the jaguar conceded.
Does he know she is uncomfortable?
Yes. He never insists, and he always makes her feel beautiful. He always shows his appreciation of her as a woman and partner. I cannot fault him on that.The jaguar admitted it reluctantly.
Why do you feel she was coerced into becoming Carpathian? I am facing such a decision. If you don’t mind, I would like the benefit of your wisdom. Frankly, I am afraid. Not of him, he is wonderful to me, but of a species I don’t understand. Solange must have been terrified. How did you help her through it?
That was genius, sheer genius. The part that got to Tomas was that she was telling the jaguar the strict truth, making herself vulnerable, treating the jaguar as a respected elder. She wasn’t playing the cat; shewas sincere. That was part of Sarika’s magic. She took the time and listened. She didn’t judge. She heard and acknowledged another point of view, and she respected what others had to say.
The jaguar was silent again for a long time. Tomas realized that the animal was actually thoughtful. He had become a shadow in Sarika’s mind because he had already judged the animal as being violent and harmful. He worried for Sarika’s safety as well as that of the baby. But he was wrong. The animal not only was hurt with the feelings of betrayal but had genuinely convinced herself that Solange needed to be saved. She was a wise and deadly opponent, and she played the long game, not one of instant gratification.
I was present when he courted her, but to give her privacy, I stepped back. I trusted him with her at the time.The jaguar was thoughtful. Admitting the truth to herself for the first time.I believed he was good for her.
The cat lifted her head and stared directly into Sarika’s eyes.I told her to trust her heart. I give you the same advice. Trust your heart. Don’t have your eyes closed. Try to see him for who he is, both good and bad traits. Do not love an illusion, a fantasy that is in your mind. See him for what he truly is, and if he is right, love him for that. That was my advice then, and it stands now.
Sarika frowned, the expression as delicate as the emotion she portrayed.But then you withdrew your approval. What did he do that made you suspicious of him?
Solange always talked important matters over with me. Always. Even when I knew she had made up her mind, she would still discuss those things with me because I have always been important to her. She did not. Conversion can take away your jaguar—did he tell you that? If your cat is important to you, the conversion can change who and what you are. She accepted the risk that she would lose me without even talking it over with me.
The hurt of betrayal was once more weighing all three of them down, Carpathian ancient, Sarika with her feminine power and thejaguar. They weren’t the only ones. A small cry came from a distance, so low as almost not to be heard. A baby calling out in pain.
The jaguar lifted her head alertly.She is hurting.
She feels your pain of betrayal and shares that with you. You are important to her because Solange has made you important to her. Or rather the imposter, the illusion of you. Did you ask Solange what happened at the time of the conversion?
Tomas felt the soothing warmth she surrounded the baby with. He also felt she was beginning to tire. She was putting out a great deal of energy, psychic energy, that cost her. She would need his blood to bolster her. She was unable to eat solid food and, to his knowledge, wasn’t hydrating. The effect of blood exchanges often left an unconverted lifemate unable to keep food down.
He also felt the vicious headache pounding at her. He couldn’t interfere and heal her as he would have wished. As that strong protective streak demanded. He would give away his presence, and everything Sarika had accomplished would be for nothing.
I did not ask,the jaguar admitted.I was too hurt, and I convinced myself Dominic was to blame. There was no evidence of that, just that Solange had always protected me as I did her.
You need to ask her. My understanding is she delayed the conversion over and over in order to ensure nothing would go wrong with you. Each blood exchange, it was you they both monitored, not her. She was used to protecting you, and she would not have gone through with it had there been a single sign that she would lose you. Or that you would be harmed. I wasn’t there, but when she shared some of her memories with me, that was what I observed. I could have read it wrong, or her character incorrectly.
The jaguar female bristled in annoyance.Solange’s character is not in question. She leads her life with honor.
Sarika inclined her head.You taught her those things. You instilled those traits in her. She is counting on you to do the same for her daughter. It hasn’t occurred to her that you would think she betrayed you. According tomy cousin, Luiz, Solange spends quite a bit of her time as a jaguar. She believed the illusion because she knows you so well and gives the false jaguar everything she knows and loves of you.
