Tomas nodded slowly. “You have a gift, Sarika. You aren’t aware of how special you are. Not just because you’re my lifemate, but you seem to be able to ease any ancient when you’re close to him. To my knowledge, there are only a few women who can do such a thing.”
“How would I make it easier for Lojos, Mataias and Luiz?”
He took a deep breath, pulled her away from the entrance to the cave and gave her the truth he knew she wouldn’t like. “In our world, everything is about blood. Luiz took your blood in order to better communicate with you from a distance so he could ensure your protection, but he didn’t give you his blood.”
Her lashes fluttered again, removing his ability to see her reaction. It took discipline not to look into her mind. She had a very real abhorrence to anyone taking her blood. It had to be worse to think she would have to ingest blood herself. She was silent for so long he almost interfered to tell her it was simply information.
No one expected her to or would want her to think she needed to aid the ancient warriors. They didn’t think in those terms. They were solely there for the purpose of protecting her. To Luiz, she was his family. To his brothers, she was their little sister. They would give their lives for her.
“When I dreamt that day, I dreamt that you not only took my blood but you gave me yours. We haven’t yet discussed it because I wasn’t ready, but it wasn’t a dream, was it?”
He shook his head. “No.”
“But I was unaware while you did it, right?”
“Yes.” They were in uncomfortable territory for both of them. He didn’t like the fact that their first blood exchange had been without her consent. He would have to address that, along with his reasons, soon. His explanations for trampling on her rights had to be getting old.
“If I could actually agree to such a thing, would you be able to be with me? In my mind, I mean. Where I could feel you and not them? Could you keep me from knowing what they were doing? What I was doing?”
His heart reacted with physical pain. Sarika surprised him at every turn. Just the fact that she would consider such a thing when she was so terrified of having them take her blood astonished him. He especially loved that she wanted him to buffer her. He didn’t deserve her faith in him, not yet. He needed to earn that.
“What you’re offering is amazing, Sarika. A gift beyond any price, but you aren’t ready for it. My brothers and Luiz will endure because that is what they do. You haven’t yet come to terms with being my lifemate. You’re asking far too much of yourself.”
“The point is this, Tomas,” she said, tilting her chin at him so hereyes met his. “I had no choice when it came to being a lifemate. There doesn’t appear to be a way out, so I have a couple of choices. One is to fight you every step of the way, and the other is to do whatever I can to understand your customs and your needs to give us a better life together. I choose the second one. The more choices I make for myself, the more I feel in control of my life.”
Every word of every letter she’d ever written to him was engraved in his mind. This was the woman he’d come to know through the many years of posts she’d sent to him. She always took time to process a situation, and then she came up with solutions. She was willing to learn and change her opinions if things made sense to her.
“Your brothers mean everything to you. They are good men, and they’re willing to put their lives on the line for me. My cousin is the same. Annoying and intimidating, but he’s my family, and he would have risked fighting with you for me even knowing he was outnumbered. If I won’t have knowledge of it while it is being done, the blood exchanges, I mean, and you’re there with me, my protection, I think it would be a good thing.”
“Here? Now? Before we enter Dominic and Solange’s home?”
“Yes. I think it is best to do it quickly, right here and now, especially if that will help to put Dominic and Solange at ease. I’ve made up my mind, and I don’t want to think too much about it. So let’s get it done.”
What’s the holdup?Dominic asked.
Sarika has offered a gift beyond price to my brothers and Luiz.He sent all of them her offer using the pathway of the ancients. Vampires had been Carpathians, and using the common communication could mean one chanced being overheard by the enemy.
There has been no coercion? She was terrified of all things Carpathian, in particular, taking of her blood,Dominic pointed out.
She still is, but she is determined to do this.Tomas couldn’t help the surge of pride in his lifemate. She was much stronger than anyone gave her credit for. Even him. He had underestimated her.
Have you told her the repercussions?Mataias asked.That we will always be able to find her? That if she tried to run, there would be no hope of escape?
I have already made the first true blood exchange. She would be unable to hide from me,Tomas said.This is her idea, and she is determined, but if we do this, it must take place immediately.
Luiz gently took Sarika’s elbow and drew her close to him. “Little cousin, we are ancients and have endured for centuries. We would not lose our honor at this late date. What you offer is an incredible gift, but not necessary when it is very frightening to you.”
“I have no doubt that the three of you would never break your code, Luiz. That isn’t why I want to do this. I believe if you can share color and emotion, even a small amount, it will ease you in times of trouble. And the three of you strike me as men who are always in trouble. Not to mention, recognizing your sense of humor will go a long way toward others not being so fearful of you. It’s also important to me that your friends don’t treat you with suspicion.”
“The point of being me is to strike fear into their hearts,” Luiz objected.
Tomas felt that spark of humor in him through his connection with Sarika. She had said she felt the emotions of the ancients when they couldn’t, but he didn’t understand until that moment. Luiz was a De La Cruz. He might have his jaguar, but he was wholly of that lineage. Every warrior long past had poured their knowledge and pain into him. He carried a very heavy burden, more so than most. Worse, the De La Cruz line had something twisted in it. Something that made them incredible predators, more so than most Carpathian hunters. There was very little civilized about them, and they didn’t try to be. To find that humor was incredible. To realize Luiz had a sense of humor, that it was even there, was huge.
“Well, you’ll have to strike a little less fear,” Sarika said. “Because, for me, this is necessary.”
Tomas liked that she stood up for herself. He didn’t interfere oradd to her arguments. She needed to feel in control, and if he stepped in, that control would be taken from her.
Don’t allow her to do this yet. Solange is coming out and wishes to speak with her.
