“But you said you were sent after Scorpion and his men.”
He nodded slowly. “That is true. That was two separate missions. I have a standing contract with several countries Scorpion and his men committed crimes in. He’s considered an international serial killer. No one knew his identity. My boss in Special Activities has no idea that before I ever joined, I had already established myself as an assassin in the Middle East.”
“I suspected no one knew you were Deadly Storms, although Raine definitely is suspicious. Or just plain knows.” She hadn’t known for certain and she’d witnessed him in action.
“It just so happened that you had been kidnapped by Scorpion and his men. Blom and everyone else believes I rescued you just before the sandstorm hit, and the assassin struck after we were already gone. Killing those men had nothing to do with you and didn’t impact my career as you seemed to believe. I didn’t want to move up the ladder. I had freedom to do the things I was good at and at the same time look after the woman I love.”
Her heart jumped. Stuttered. Her gaze met his. What was he saying to her? She didn’t dare jump to conclusions, but shehadto know. She needed clarification.
“Rainier, what are saying?” Her voice refused to go above a whisper.
“You’re the only person in my world who doesn’t seem to know. If you want me to stay, all you have to do is say so, butyou’d better mean it. If I stay, I stay permanently. There isn’t any going back. You go into the relationship with your eyes open. You know who I am and what I do. I’ve waited a long time for you, but it has to come from you.”
Shocked, she blinked up at him, not comprehending what he was saying to her. He didn’t repeat himself. His gaze didn’t move from hers.
She gathered every bit of courage she had. “If I had my way, Rainier, you’d always stay with me.”
“Don’t just say it because you’re having a difficult time. Your father will do everything in his power to put every roadblock imaginable in front of us. If you choose me, you very well could be separating yourself from your parents.”
There was that overwhelming guilt weighing her down immediately. When it came to her parents, she felt as if she’d destroyed their lives.
“Why does my father dislike you so much?”
“We can talk about that after we talk about us. You’ll have to make your decision based on how you really feel about me, Shabina. If you want me to stay, you need to want the same thing I do, a permanent relationship. Marriage. The two of us having each other’s backs. It won’t be easy with me. I’m no prize, but I’ve always shown you the real me.”
“I have so many issues, Rainier. I want you to be with me, but I can’t imagine why you would love me. And I want to be loved by you.”
“Baby, look at me.” He caught her chin and tilted her head up. “I can assure you without any reservations, I love you. There isn’t anyone else, and there never will be.” He pressed a brief kiss to the corner of her mouth and let her go.
“Why would you? How? When?”
“I’ve always known we were meant to be together. You think I saved you, but that isn’t true. Until I met you, I thought that my childhood had shaped me into a bitter, relentless psychopath.”
“I’ve seen true psychopaths, Rainier. You’re not that.”
“If I’m not, it’s because of you. You brought humanity back into my life. After all the things done to you, there was such compassion in you. Such gentleness. You truly loved the people. You would lie awake beside me and tell me about the men risking their lives and the lives of their families to give you a drink of water. Or to find a way to take you for a walk among birds. They would do you small kindnesses knowing if they were found out, Scorpion would torture not only them but their wives and children. You painted a vivid picture of men walking such a tightrope with not only one madman but several in order to aid you. It made me rethink the way I thought about people. I had to spend quite a lot of time meditating and thinking over my life and what I’d become.”
Shabina was afraid to believe he might want to stay with her. That he could really love her knowing what a mess she was. Even hearing him attribute the changes in him to her seemed unbelievable. She didn’t think of herself as extraordinary. She couldn’t see the vision he had of her.
“I knew if I wanted to be with you, I would have to learn to be a better man. I’d have to learn that same compassion and depth of humanity you have. You see people as individuals, and you give them respect until they prove to you that they no longer deserve it.”
She shook her head. “I’m really not that kind and compassionate. I wish I were.” She bit her lip. “If I had my way, Rainier, you’d move in and stay with me forever.”
“Even if you lose your parents over it?”
She took a deep breath. She knew that it was a possibility, but she didn’t know why. At the back of her mind, there was a little nagging thought she kept shutting down. “Yes.” Her voice wobbled. She wanted it to be stronger. Her resolve was strong, but she despised hurting her parents, and she knew this decision would.
“Be sure, Shabina. I move in, I stay. We get married immediately and quietly. I wouldn’t put it past your father to try to hospitalize you if I’m called out of town. It would be like him to do something like that to get you away from me.”
She wanted to deny it, but it was the truth. “You keep saying I have to be sure, Rainier. You need to take a good look at what you’re getting. Please look at the real me, the one falling apart every few months. Do you really want me for the mother of your children?”
“I told you. I’ve built my life around yours already. I’ve started a business, so when I decide to retire, I’ll have something I can pass on to others, training and giving jobs to men like me who need somewhere to go when they’ve had enough of government work.”
“It’s settled, then. You’re moving in with me. There’s an entire side of the closet empty.” She felt extremely courageous telling him so matter-of-factly when she was shaking inside.
His palm smoothed over the back of her hair. For just one moment his eyes lit up and a very brief smile softened the cruel edge of his mouth. “Brought the necessities with me, and I can easily get the rest. I do still have work to finish. I’ve got a lead on a couple of the men I’ve been hunting. The last place they were seen was in Jordan. As soon as I know you’re going to be fine, I’ll go after them. I need to have solid intel first because I’ll have to get in and out of the country without detection.”
The idea of his leaving her alone again terrified her, but shetried to cover the reaction by crossing her arms over her chest and hugging her body tightly.
