“Radut would never have conceived that a Carpathian with a lifemate would attack them. Fawn often participated in Marius’ raids. Having her there only added to the feeling of camaraderie the two would have craved,” Benedek acknowledged.
Before he could say anything else, Fenja sent him a determined look. “I’m ready for you to examine me and see if you can aid me to keep from transitioning until after Lilith’s army attacks.”
“Anything I find, I will not keep from Silke,” he warned.
Fenja nodded. “That is acceptable.”
Chapter
15
Silke pressed her fingertips to her temples, where the pounding was the worst. She hoped that simple pressure would alleviate some of the pain crashing through her head.
“Benedek warned me that I would be uncomfortable without him,” she admitted to Fenja. “I was so certain I’d be fine, but the worst isn’t physical, and that’s pretty bad. I feel as if I’m grieving for him. I keep wanting to reach out to him to ensure he isn’t dead. It feels as if I’ve lost him.”
Fenja’s facial features softened. “You know he is Carpathian, and like Tora, he is beneath the ground resting. Rejuvenating.”
“Intellectually, yes, I know that’s where he is and what he’s doing. I know better, but that hasn’t stopped my mind from insisting he’s deceased.”
Silke sighed and paced across the room to the window. Staring out at the forest in the distance, she dug her fingers into the material of the shawl she had wrapped herself in for comfort. “I’m supposed to be intelligent, Mama. How can my brain keep trying to convince me Benedek is dead?”
“I have heard the lifemate bond is extremely strong,” Fenja replied.Her gaze followed her daughter’s pacing, and when Silke stopped in front of the window, she joined her. “We think in human terms. They are not the same species. They have different rules for very good reasons. In our society the criminals have certain rights and there is a court process. Sometimes the wrong person might be convicted and the criminal gets away. We’re human. We can’t look into the minds of the accused. Carpathian hunters go after vampires. They are tasked to hunt the Carpathians who have chosen to be outside their very rigid laws. They know absolutely that person is guilty. There is no court of appeals.”
“A hunter is an executioner,” Silke said.
Fenja nodded. “In a sense. From our point of view. A vampire is an abomination of nature and will kill and kill cruelly, night after night. They don’t care if they are murdering a man, woman or child. They will kill families, even entire villages, in a single night, just for the joy of killing. Carpathian law dictates that they must be destroyed.”
“I can’t argue with that. I’ve seen them. There is no redemption for them, as much as I looked for it.”
“Silke.” Fenja showed her shock. “You touched their minds?”
Silke gave a delicate shudder and turned away from the window. “It is my way with any creature I am going to destroy. I have to be certain before I take a life. I’ve been in Benedek’s mind quite often now, and it is impossible to hide much from me. He touches their minds as well. He doesn’t realize he does it to assure himself they are wholly vampire and cannot come back. Many of those he hunted and destroyed were Carpathians he knew.”
“A terrible, lonely, bleak existence,” Fenja said, compassion in her voice. “I believe the lifemate connection must be extremely strong in order for the hunters to survive. They are able to bind their woman to them, and once it is done, my understanding is it cannot be undone.”
“Benedek explained that to me.” Silke threw herself into her favorite chair, pulling her mother’s shawl closer around her. “I just didn’trealize, when he told me I would grieve for him, that I really would. I’m strong, Mama, but I can’t seem to make my mind believe he’s just rejuvenating in the ground.”
“We associate being in the ground with burial. Death. Carpathians associate it with life. You will need to overcome that bias.”
Silke pressed her fingers to her temples again. Her brain felt in chaos. She was having a difficult time thinking rationally, and she despised the feeling of being so out of control. It was unlike her not to remain calm in any situation.
“I am fully committed to becoming Carpathian,” she said. “I know there will be several hurdles to overcome, but I really spent time in his mind. He knew I was there and didn’t look upon that merge as intrusive. He would have allowed me into places he doesn’t go himself. He’s a good man. A really good man. Not only that, but the traits I admire most, he has in abundance.”
“Do you believe he’s capable of love?” Fenja asked.
Silke met her mother’s eyes. “I believe you are a great seer and that you love me. You would never allow me to make a mistake. I should have known from the first time I was told about Benedek that you would know whether or not I should be with him.”
Fenja looked pleased. “As a seer, Silke, I must be careful of telling others what is in store for them. I believe Benedek and you will be very happy together, but life can be harsh. There is always more than one outcome, depending on the choices made.”
“I feel very fortunate that Benedek seems to respect me and is willing to discuss any issues with me,” Silke said. Again, she pressed her fingertips into her pounding temples. “I think I need to make tea. I was able to sleep through most of the day, thankfully.”
“Sunset is in a couple of hours.”
“One hour and seventeen minutes to be exact,” Silke said, sending her mother a faint grin. “I don’t even have a clue how I know that.”
“You have done one blood exchange with him,” Fenja pointed out as she started toward the kitchen.
Silke followed her. The kitchen was one of Silke’s favorite places to share with her mother. The archways were stone, but the walls were gleaming, polished wood. Silke had modernized their kitchen in terms of appliances, but it retained the old-world, fantasy charm she loved so much. She found comfort there immediately.
