Azelie frowned. “Adults continued to fall for his lies even after he’d proved himself a liar?”
She sounded so shocked that Maestro knew immediately she had that built-in radar now. She’d most likely always had a warning system but had developed it much faster and sharper after Quentin had murdered her family. That would be a challenge. He knew the old adage “once bitten, twice shy” applied. He’d had chunks torn out of him, and he would forever look for betrayal. He would have to carefully go over every word he said if he had to dodge her questions, make certain he never lied to her. He might get away with the sin of omission but not an outright lie.
Trust was everything between them. He was so concernedabout betrayal he wanted to control their relationship—and her—in the hopes it could never happen. But he was in the position of committing a massive betrayal. She already suspected he had approached her to watch Billows.
She didn’t realize he was after a specific item, her key to the underground offices. If she was aware he planned to search her backpack for the necklace holding that key, he knew she would view that as a betrayal. He wasn’t certain how to get around that. He wanted to tell her the mission. He was sure she would go along with it, but he couldn’t pull her out and hide her in a safe house without tipping Billows off that something was radically wrong. If he told her, she would have to act like nothing was wrong. She already was having a difficult time.
“Andrii?” She said his name, a gentle inquiry.
“Sorbacov didn’t just deceive adults. His main targets were children. How many times they would rat on others. How many times, even after he refused to release them after his promises, they would believe him. That was the kind of shit he lived for. He did it every single day. No matter how many times I warned my female partners not to believe him, not to do as he said, they would tell him. Report me to him. I was trying to help them, stupid little girls who were desperate for Sorbacov’s favor. I didn’t deceive them, but it was him they trusted.”
For the first time, he didn’t sound distant from the past. He sounded bitter. He tasted bitter ashes in his mouth. Memories flooded his mind, sickening him. He broke out in a sweat. His skin felt clammy, yet he was hot—both symptoms that told him he was too close to the triggers that made him so dangerous at times.
“Honey.” Azelie’s fingers bit into his thigh muscle. “Just breathe. That’s what I do. That’s what you tell me to do. Just breathe through it. We can stop right here. I don’t need to know any more.”
Azelie was intelligent enough to know it was impossibleto fake post-traumatic stress, not when the symptoms were physical. But he worried it was just another way he would appear weak to her. She needed a strong man. Showing this side of himself could blow his chances, when he thought telling her about his past would help her to understand why he was so strange.
He forced himself to look down into her upturned face. Heat blossomed, spread through him. She was looking back at him with that expression he craved in her eyes. He didn’t understand why or how that could be when he looked weak, but it was there. Adoration. Something close to love. Whatever connection they had wasn’t just physical. He was betting his life on that.
“You can’t look at me like that,Solnyshkuh, or we’re going to end up back in bed. Right at this moment, I want you more than my next breath.” That was the raw truth, and she had to hear it in his voice. She had to understand what she meant to him. “I don’t know how to say the right words to you. I can lie to you. I had the best teacher in how to deceive, but telling the truth to the one person who matters is more difficult than anything I’ve ever done.”
Maestro took her face between his hands. That face that was already more necessary to him than breathing. He was addicted to that look. He ran his thumb over her full, inviting lips. A faint smile curved her mouth beneath the light pressure of his thumb.
“I already let myself go a little crazy once. I’m not doing that again.”
He couldn’t help but smile. In the midst of a bad moment, she could shine her light on him and change his world.
“I think we’re going to do that a lot,Solnyshkuh.” He used his most compelling, velvet voice and watched the little shiver go through her with satisfaction. No matter how many alarms she tried to heed, she was very susceptible to him and their chemistry. He wanted everything between them to be real, so he was doing his best to give her what he couldof himself, but he had a certain expertise, and as far as he was concerned, using it was fair. And they’d both reap the benefits.
“You think you have a poker face, Andrii, but I’m reading you right now. You’re going to use sex to get your way, just because you know I can’t resist you.”
He brought the tips of her fingers to his mouth and bit down gently, enjoying the way her eyes went wide and goose bumps leapt over her skin. She could take away every nightmare and replace them withher. Her laughter. Her wide-eyed wonder. Her generosity and compassion.
“I absolutely intend to use every weapon in my arsenal to seduce you into choosing me for your lifelong partner. I’m not fucking around with you. I mean to do exactly what I’m telling you, so be warned.”
Another shiver went through her body and her long lashes fluttered. “Unfortunately, I think you’re up to the task.”
His smile started somewhere deep as he quirked one eyebrow at her. “Unfortunately?”
“Yes, unfortunately. That means whenever you want your way, you’re going to get it. That makes you spoiled.”
“Think of all the pleasure you’re going to have when I’m seducing you to get my way.”
She gave a little shake of her head. “You’re impossible. You have not one iota of remorse, do you?”
“Nope. Not if anything I do ensures I have you with me.”
Azelie laughed. The sound hit him right in his heart. His chest ached and he rubbed his palm over the spot. He leaned in to take her mouth. That perfect mouth that sent roaring flames down his throat. That could be sweet with strawberries and honey or fiery like whiskey. No matter how reluctant her brain was feeling in that moment, when his lips touched hers, she gave him everything. Surrendered completely.
He lifted her and carried her right back to the bed. He needed to be inside her, connected with her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, all the while giving him her mouth. Somewhere in between taking off what littleclothing she was wearing and stripping himself as well, as he kissed his way down her body, he realized she was giving him another gift. She had concerns about the two of them, about him. What he was. Why he was with her. Valid concerns. She’d decided no sex until she felt more comfortable with who he was, yet she was giving him this. It wasn’t because of his expertise; it was because she knew he needed her.
Bog, his woman. He understood how the men in his club could become total pussies when it came to their women. Azelie could rip out his heart anytime she wanted. He didn’t fuck her. He made love to her, making every single touch, every stroke, count. He wanted her to feel his love. Feel everything he felt for her.
“Do you understand,Solnyshkuh? Do you know what I’m saying to you?”
He threaded his fingers through hers and pinned her hands to the mattress on either side of her head as he moved in her. Long, slow, burning strokes. Each time he surged into her, fire raced up his spine and spread through his belly.
Azelie had tears in her eyes. Her teeth bit into her lower lip, and she nodded, not taking her gaze from his. He felt as if he were looking into her soul. Into the very essence of who she was. He saw her, this miracle that had been handed to him in the worst of circumstances.
