She removed the robe from her shoulders, tossing it after his shirt, her blue eyes shimmering through the clouds of steam. He didn’t want her to look at him. Inside him. Into his mind. She saw too much with those eyes of hers. “You’re already clean, Gorya. See yourself through my eyes, not yours. You’ll have no problem going to sleep tonight. I was proud of you and proud of Rogue. Thank you for sticking up for Alicia, Yelena and Leo and all the others Braum would have forced into his way of life.”
She picked up the gel body wash and sponge and began soaping his body. Nothing in his life had prepared him forMaya and the way she cared for him that night. She took her time, her hands gentle as they moved over his entire body. She didn’t seem shy or inhibited or in the least bit worried he might attack her. She seemed—trusting. She’d given her trust to the monster.
He turned his face up to the spray of water and let it fall on him, mingling with the unfamiliar burn in his eyes as he pulled her to him and clung, holding on to her as if she were his lifeline. His savior. And she was. She’d said she couldn’t be. But she was. How could he not want her—need her—with every cell in his body? How could he not love her?
Hell.He hadn’t known he was capable of loving anyone. Not real love. Not the deep, soul-crushing, gut-wrenching, all-encompassing emotion that overwhelmed him when he looked at her. Or thought about her. Or just woke up, heart pounding because, with that first breath he took, he had to breathe her in to know his world was going to be right.
There she was, curled right against him the way she did, hardly taking up any space, yet she filled his universe. He could breathe. He could live. Rogue could live. So what the hell was he doing lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling fan, wanting more. Needing more. Instead of getting on his knees and thanking every god there was that she was his, his mind was filled with every erotic, lustful, dirty thought he could possibly have.
Love and lust were so twisted together he didn’t know where one started and the other ended. They had no covers over them. The night was too damn hot. Muggy. Sultry. Perfumed.Herperfume. Her natural fragrance drove him insane. Sometimes he dreamt of her right before he woke, of burying his tongue in her and having her come apart for him. Moaning his name. Fingers digging deep in his shoulders. In his skin. He fucking ached for her.
He couldn’t just lie there next to her. He didn’t trusthimself. Sighing, he started to sit up. Her hand slid along his bare thigh, and he froze. That whisper of a touch was like a brand burning her name into his skin. His cock, already as hard as a rock, became a thick shaft of pure titanium.
“Baby.” His voice came out more of a growl. A deep rasp. A warning.
“You’re burning up. You went to sleep relaxed, and now every muscle in your body is as tight as a drum. What is it?”
They had made a vow to be honest with each other. He turned his head to look at her. Her large eyes stared straight into his. No fear. Where had her fear gone? She’d had a complete breakdown when Wraith had gone into a fever pitch of heat, and yet now she looked at him with speculation, desire. All woman. Temptation. Not good when he was in such a state.
Gorya took her hand—the hand that was so small in comparison to his. Very slowly he brought it to his swollen cock and wrapped her fingers around the hot, pulsing shaft. He waited for her retreat. Her fear of him. She’d completely fallen apart a few nights earlier, yet she didn’t flinch now.
Her fingers tightened, long lashes sweeping up and then down to look at the sight of him with their joined fists surrounding his girth. “You feel like a combination of silk and steel.”
His heart clenched in his chest. She didn’t try to pull away. Instead, she seemed fascinated. More than fascinated. She even shifted slightly closer to him as if getting a better look. She had never avoided looking at his body and he’d never hidden himself from her, but she’d never looked at his cock, not with that particular look in her eyes. Was it real? Desire? Had her fingers tightened and pumped along with his of their own volition?
“I want you.” He barely recognized his voice. The rasphad deepened. It didn’t matter how low he spoke; she heard him. She couldn’t fail to hear the ache. She still didn’t freeze or pull away.
“How is this any different from any other night? Every night when you’re curled around me, I can feel how hard you are.” Her lashes lifted, and once more her gaze met his. Steady. A slight flush began to spread over her entire body.
He found her not only sexy but endearing. Adorable. She couldn’t help blushing, a full-body blush, and he loved that about her. Hell. He loved everything about her, but it only increased his need for her, and that was extremely dangerous when he was riding the very edge of his control. He didn’t want her hand to go away, but he didn’t dare stay where he was.
“I want you with every fucking breath I take, Maya, but add to that the buildup from Rogue’s battles. It’s all come together in a perfect storm. I just don’t trust myself tonight. I think it’s best if I go spend time working off my energy away from you.”
The pad of her thumb slipped out from under his fist and caressed the long vein running along his shaft as together they gave another slide up and then down. He stifled a groan. He was playing with fire, but it felt so good, he couldn’t make himself get up and leave her. Her legs moved restlessly beside him.
“You always seem so ready. So ready. Are you always like that? When you’re around other women do you get hard like this?”
She bent her head toward his cock as if examining him—or as if she might take a taste. He felt the warmth of her breath bathing his cock’s head, and his heart shuddered in his chest. She tilted her head back to look up at him, her eyes wide again.
“Not other women. Just you. I can’t walk into the same room with you without getting hard. If I breathe you in, Iget hard. Most nights I don’t want to fall asleep because I just want to stare at you, afraid you’ll disappear on me. I don’t want to miss a single one of your expressions. Just looking at you while you sleep makes me hard. It’s only you, Maya. But tonight... tonight is different.”
Her small teeth tugged at her full lower lip while she contemplated what he’d said, but she didn’t pull her gaze from his. He could see she struggled to find the right words to tell him whatever it was she wanted to say. Eventually the tip of her tongue moistened her lips, making him want to groan. His cock jerked, making her fingers react, tightening her fist around him almost possessively.
“The thing is, Gorya, if I’m being honest with you, I think about you day and night. I have very erotic dreams about you and things I’d like us to do together.” Her lashes swept down and then back up, and the flush on her skin deepened from a pink to a blushing red.
Gorya found that her voice alone was an aphrodisiac, her hesitant, innocent admission uttered so low, as if he were a priest and she was making a confession of a great sin.
“I want you, but I have no clue what I’m doing or how to go about making it happen without panicking. I was counting on you to take the lead in that department.”
Her voice trembled just a little, letting him know that trepidation was there, but her gaze was steady, telling him she meant every word. She looked at him as if he might be the devil tempting her to commit sin, but she was willing to follow him down the path. Hell, she’d just confessed that she was willing.
“Baby...” The last thing he wanted to do was talk her out of anything, but if it was too soon for them to make any progression, he didn’t want to set them back.
The pad of her thumb moved again as their combined fists did another slow squeeze up and down his shaft, and sheer pleasure burst through him.
“When you kiss me, I can’t think straight. When you touch me, my body belongs to you. I just don’t quite know how to control my fears, but I want you so much. I want us to find a way to be together the way we’re supposed to be.”
Gorya looked down at the woman the universe had somehow gifted him. She lay beside him, looking up at him with the trust he’d asked her to give him. The world had given her a shit deal from the day she was born. His family had most likely been part of the raid murdering her family. They’d certainly been responsible for the torture and rape, the trauma and nightmares. But there she was. His. His gift.
