Gorya sat down and leaned toward her. “The women you traveled with were killed? When you were a little girl? Just getting off the freighter?” The monster in him roared. Why hadn’t he expected that the women would run into trouble? The freighter had been captained by an Amurov crew. He cursed under his breath. “Were there men waiting to take you to houses to sell you?”
Why hadn’t it occurred to him that the women would be passed on to a land crew? He’d been so focused on getting back to the house where the dead bodies of Patva’s crew were so he could create a believable scene of raiders coming in and taking the women, saving his own hide. Damn him to hell. In his arrogance he had wanted to best Patva once again. He had wanted to save his own skin.
He leapt up and paced across the room, stopping near the wall, adrenaline rushing through him like wildfire.
“Don’t.” The command was soft. “I won’t tell you another thing about my life if you keep taking responsibility for something you had no control over. You weren’t there. There was nothing you could have done. You saved us. Got us out of that place. What happened after that wasn’t your fault or your failing. No one blamed you, least of all me.”
Gorya realized she meant it. Maya had a will of steel. She wasn’t going to bend. If he wanted to hear about her life, he had to use discipline to get through this, because he needed to know everything that had happened to her in the years since he’d seen her. He was used to giving orders. Commanding her to tell him what he wanted to know wasn’t going to work.
Forcing control, he made his way to the small bar and dragged a cold bottle of water from the refrigerator. “Would you like one?”
She nodded. “Yes, please.”
He didn’t like the soothing quality to her voice. He didn’t need soothing. He needed to go to the workout room and beat the shit out of someone. He needed to run for miles in the swamp as both a man and a leopard. He didn’t need her to soothe him when he’d let all those women down.
“Gorya, you do remember you were a teenager when you killed all those men, right? I don’t even know how many there were, but there were quite a few of them. You weren’t prepared and you only had about an hour to get us out of there. Then you had to go back and face the leader of thebratva. The women were sure he would kill you.”
“I remember putting you on a freighter and forgetting all about you. I thought you were safe because I wanted to believe you were. Had I given it any thought at all, I would have known better. Please tell me what happened to you.”
She studied him for a few minutes, and he kept his features a mask. He didn’t like that he was deceiving her, but he had the feeling she was aware he was doing so. When she remained silent, he sighed and shoved his hand through his hair.
“I can’t help being upset, Maya. I promised you and myself I would be real with you. Would you want me to be deceptive? I’m under control. I’m not going to hit the wall or go torture a prisoner.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “You would do that?”
“I’d consider it.”
“Well, don’t. This is all in the past. If we’re going to talk about it, keep it in the past. It has to stay there, that’s how I cope. If you make it about now, I can’t deal very well. That’s me being honest with you. We both have crazy shit to deal with in our past, Gorya. I keep that door closed pretty tight. Maybe you don’t. I’m not the ‘talk to strangers and get it all out’ kind of girl. You’re the only person who’s ever going to hear about my life, if you really want to know, and only because you’re mine. I think you’re kind of nuts to want to know details, but so be it. I might want to ask you questions about your life. That makes us both a little insane, but we knew that going into this. So behave yourself.”
He liked quite a bit of what she’d said. Mostly that he was hers and he was the only one who would ever get her past. No one ever told him what to do, not since he’d gotten free of Patva. His cousins had given him security orders, but that didn’t count. He’d gotten up in the middle of the night and destroyed threats to them without their knowledge. He didn’t mind the pretense of following orders, especially if it saved their lives.
“Are you going to spend the rest of your life telling me what to do?”
She broke out laughing. The musical notes filled the space between them, lighting it with merriment. Howcould he feel like smiling when just a few minutes earlier he wanted to smash something—or someone?
“Most likely. Someone needs to. Everyone seems a little afraid of you.”
“I think you’re a little afraid of me.”
“Not for the same reasons the rest of the world is.” She flashed him another smile that got him right in the pit of his stomach.
You see? She is your mate. She belongs to us. She is needed.
Now Rogue was suddenly going to add his two cents.I don’t think you need to sound so self-righteous. You put her in a terrible position, and I haven’t forgiven you.
Without her, we would both be lost. They would be lost. Look at her. She is everything you could possibly want. I feel the difference in you.
Gorya swore at his leopard.Don’t act like you didn’t claim her leopard for yourself, you smug bastard. You didn’t think about how afraid Maya was going to be when she had to face me. She was terrified.
If Rogue dared to point out that Gorya echoed that same terror, he might cut the cat right out of his body and burn the two of them—man and leopard—in a hideous ceremony. Gorya shared the images with the animal. Rogue didn’t seem in the least disturbed, but he didn’t pursue the conversation. If anything, he sent an image of the curl of his tongue, almost as if he had a sense of humor about the entire subject.
Keep it up. I might never let you out to see your mate.
Rogue didn’t deign to answer what he knew was an empty threat. He gave a little sniff and subsided, pleased with himself.
“My leopard needs to be shot. Not killed, just shot. I don’t suppose you would do the honors for me.”
She laughed again, just like he knew she would. The sound made him smile. He wanted to record the sound onhis phone and play it whenever he was alone. That probably made him some kind of first-class fool, but he didn’t care. He didn’t dare tell her she was a fuckin’ miracle, because that was definitely a trigger for her, but she was. And whether she liked to think it or not, she might just save him. He had to figure out what he could give her of equal value in return.
