She continued to brush her finger over his, tracing the powerful muscles of the leopard tattoo on his hand. “None of the men who attacked me when I was a child had this tattoo. Patva kept his gloves on. I saw the tattoo when you held me after you had killed everyone. You’d taken your gloves off to shift. You lifted me onto your lap, and I remember staring down at your hands and seeing the leopard. For the first time, with your arms around me, I felt safe, even when I hurt everywhere and there was blood from one end of the room to the other.”
He cleared his throat. “I didn’t realize that.”
Maya nodded. “It’s true. I shut the door on those memories to stay sane, but I always remembered the tattoo. For some reason, that had become a symbol of safety to me. I had considered getting a similar tattoo until I looked it up on the internet and realized it was considered by many to represent thebratva. I certainly didn’t want to put anything on my body that would mark me as theirs. I already had enough reminders.”
“Many people think the tattoo isbratva,” Gorya said, “but it’s a family tattoo, and no one else has it but those of us born of Amurov blood.” He tipped up her face, his gaze moving over hers as if to assure himself she was telling him the truth. “It’s nice to hear that for once, our family ink symbolizes something good, especially for you.”
She could see, beyond his casual words and tone, that it really did mean something to him that she found his tattoo comforting.
“There isn’t a guarantee I can do this, Gorya,” she reminded him. She wanted honesty between them. Maybe in learning to be honest with him, she’d find out who she was meant to be. Someone better.
“Did I ask for a guarantee, Maya? You persist inthinking you’re the only damaged one in this relationship. I might implode, and you’ll have to be another Gedeon.”
She laughed. She couldn’t help it. “I think Gedeon would have to worry about me because I’ll have your back. He’s going to be creeping around, scared I’ll be stalking him. I’ll have to be on alert for his wife somewhere on top of a building with me in her sights. Your cousins would show up. It would be a hot mess, so best to just stay sane, Gorya.”
The frost in his eyes softened to a pale blue. “Before my knees give out and Rogue tells me I’ve ruined him for fighting, we have to get to step two.”
“Step two?” Maya should have panicked, but she was too intrigued now. She was past being totally panicked around him. She wanted the relationship and was willing to work for it. Once she recognized she wasn’t the only one struggling, it was easier for her.
Gorya was back to using his hand like a seductive weapon, his palm stealing around to the nape of her neck, where his fingers settled in her thick hair. It was impossible not to be aware of the way he gathered the mass into his fist, and she slowly tilted her head up toward his.
“Kissing. I’m going to kiss you.”
Thunder roared in her ears, nearly drowning out his soft murmur. She was sure she hadn’t heard him correctly. “Kiss me?” she echoed faintly. She should have expected it.
“Yeah, baby, I’m going to kiss you. If I don’t, you’re going to start thinking about it and you’re going to panic again.”
He was right, but she might panic now. “I don’t know how to kiss.”
“That’s fine. We’ll learn together. We’ll just practice until we get it right.”
His head had come closer to hers. Much closer. She could see the fine lines etched into his skin. Those linesrepresented the trauma he’d suffered as a child. Just seeing those creases settled her. She identified with him. She wasn’t threatened by him. She was needed by him.
His lips curved as if he knew what she was thinking. His warm breath reached the left corner of her mouth. Her entire body went taut in anticipation. Every nerve ending came alive. Little goose bumps rose on her skin. His lips brushed hers lightly—a delicate touch, but she felt it like a brand. Her stomach fluttered. A thousand butterflies lifted in flight.
Kissing was so intimate. She should close her eyes, but she was mesmerized by the way his eyes continued to change color, darkening with desire to a deeper blue, the silver ring around the blue thicker. This time she could read the stark passion mixed with growing affection for her. Growing need. Not just the need of a lover. There was that, but it was so much more. Like her, he wanted a much deeper relationship. He wanted something real with her.
Her hands came up of their own volition. She wasn’t going to be passive and put this all on him. He didn’t kiss women. Like her, he found kissing others much too familiar. If they were in this together, she was participating fully. She was terrified that she wouldn’t be able to be sexually intimate with him. She was the one afraid her past experiences would prohibit her from having a normal relationship. He was being gentle. Taking care to introduce her to their world of shared intimacy and vulnerability slowly and carefully.
His lips merely feathered along hers. Teased and coaxed. Always gentle. Little flashes of flickering flames seemed to touch her and were gone, leaving her wanting more. He didn’t try to rush into kissing her. He took his time, savoring the taste of her. The feel of her. Outlining the curves of her lips with his tongue. Memorizing her. She caught the images in his mind. All the while, he neverclosed his eyes, staring into hers as if he could see right into her soul.
Maya had never been so aware of another human being. He was everywhere. Surrounding her with his strength. His heart. Letting her into his mind. Pouring into hers slowly. Carefully. It wasn’t an invasion or a takeover. It was a joining. A promise. He deliberately shared himself with her. Opened himself up to her. Made himself vulnerable.
Maya did the same, staring into his eyes. Giving herself to him the same way. A vow to him that he would be her only. She would give him everything she was. There was no expectation of perfection. Both accepted the other for the broken, damaged person they were. They were going into the relationship with their eyes wide open.
He slanted his head, and his mouth settled on hers. Her lashes fluttered down as he rubbed his lips over hers and then traced the seam with his tongue. The floor tilted and rocked. She gripped his shoulders, needing an anchor so she wouldn’t go spinning off intospace.
6
Goryacouldn’t believe he was kissing a woman.Kissing.The world seemed to be going up in flames all around him. The floor beneath his knees tilted and rolled. It had been her eyes, staring into his, grounding him. Her long lashes had come down and he was thrown immediately into a turbulent vortex, a combination of terror and exhilaration.
He hadn’t known true terror since he was a child watching his mother and father being murdered. He’d faced death so many times during his childhood and teen years, he’d become immune to fear. When one didn’t care if they lived or died, fear became ineffectual, completely powerless. He was always in control. He’d learned to accept torture and never break character. Never give away his superior skills. Everything had changed for him in one single decision. One woman.
Her scent. Her touch. And now this. Her taste. He hadn’texpected to want to keep her. To want to be with her. It took every ounce of discipline he had not to tremble when he knelt before her, between her thighs. He hadn’t realized he had anything gentle or tender in him. He’d thought there was only violence left in him—the brutal side that had become dominant. It had grown to the point he hadn’t wanted to be around his cousins because it was getting harder for him to want to hide his differences.
Almost from the moment he’d entered the building where Theo Pappas had trapped Maya, he’d felt different. He just hadn’t known why. He’d only ever felt that insane protective instinct once—when he’d been in his teens and he’d seen those grown men raping a child. He’d never thought more clearly, and yet he hadn’t been thinking logically when he’d killed every single one of Patva’s enforcers. The reaction had been instinctive. Necessary. When he’d breathed in Maya’s scent, that same protective drive had begun to form in him and grew in strength the closer he got to her.
He hadn’t believed anything in the world could terrify him. He’d lived through torture and loss and seen depravity at its worst. He was ready to let go. He wanted to leave before he completely succumbed to the brutality that lived inside him. He didn’t want his leopard to betray their code any more than he wanted to do it. Just when he had formed their plan to exit the world, Maya and Wraith had entered their world. Rogue reacted instantly, claiming Wraith.
