The moment Gideon said Whitney’s name, the same unexplained reaction on the spot above her temple occurred. This time, the feeling was accompanied by a strange crackling noise in her ears, as if her skin were too dry and peeling away. She looked down, half expecting to see fractures everywhere, but her skin appeared as smooth as ever.
“Gideon, please let go of my ankle. I don’t understand where all of this is leading, but it’s making me feel sick. We aren’t getting to know one another better. This isn’t about your background or what you do now. This is what you think might have happened to me inmy past. I just told you I’m not ready to face it yet. When I am, I’ll let you know. Right now, I think it’s best if I go.”
Rory did her best to be very firm. This conversation wasn’t getting them anywhere. She wasn’t so sure about relationships and even Gideon. So much for feeling safe and having his understanding. She’d come to him feeling so hopeful, and now she just felt lost and alone all over again. She pressed her fist deeper into that knot in her stomach.
Gideon released her ankle immediately. “Sweetheart, just take a minute and think about this. I know it’s scary, but I’m right here with you. I can get you through this. We can face your past together, get through it, and then it will be over. You’ll know once and for all what happened to you and if you’re a threat to anyone. You’re a GhostWalker. I know you are. Everyone’s willing to help you. They’ll be able to ensure no one gets hurt and see what’s going on inside you that’s blocking your memories and maybe even what he did to your lungs.”
Everything in her stilled. She heard the clock on the wall ticking. Her heart beating. The taste in her mouth was bitter. Then ashes. She heard that crackling noise again, only this time it wasn’t her skin. She felt cold. Ice-cold. Wrapping her arms around her body, she rubbed her hands up and down the goose bumps.
“Everyone?” she repeated, her tone very, very quiet. “You told other people the things I told you in absolute confidence?”
12
Rory didn’t look away from Gideon’s silvery-blue, very focused stare, not for one moment. He looked every inch the predatory hunter. She had seen that look on many occasions; now she took heed.
“You told me this was a safe place, Gideon. You told me you were safe. I don’t know how many times you reiterated that to me. Over and over. You even said it to me tonight. You used your gifts. Your voice is compelling. I knew that, but I didn’t mind because I felt you were safe. I felt this place was. But all along, you were lying to me. It wasn’t safe to tell you things I’d never shared with another human being.”
“Red.” There was an ache in his voice—that one that had given her the first flag of alarm. Regret. Worry.
She shook her head. Ice entered her veins and moved to surround her heart. She’d never felt so cold in her life. “Don’t, Gideon. There’s no taking this back. No way to explain how you could tell me you wanted me to be yours, to make a life with me and thenbetray me. And what you did is betrayal. You didn’t talk to me first. You just went to however many strangers and told them everything I told you. It’s been hell for me living like this, and yet you had no problem spilling all the details to your friends. I hope you managed to entertain them.”
“Rory, you can’t believe it was like that.”
She stood up, and when he did as well, she glided away from him toward the door. “Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to block you from my phone. Your friends won’t call or text me either, and they’re going to stay away from me. If they don’t, I’ll call the police and file harassment charges. As soon as possible, I’ll be moving on. I don’t know when that will be because I have other things I’m dealing with. That isn’t your business, and you stay out of it. I don’t want to see you again. Or hear from you again. Not ever.”
“Rory, what’s happened to you isn’t going to stop. I can help you. The things I said to you weren’t lies. I didn’t handle this right, maybe that’s true, but Whitney is still around, and he’s dangerous.”
“You don’t have to worry that I’m dangerous to you or your friends. I won’t be around.”
“Damn it, Red. I meant every single thing I said to you. You can hear lies. You know I mean what I said to you. We’re meant to be together. Don’t do this, Rory. Stay with me.”
She did not deign to answer him. There was nothing to say. The crackling was far louder as the ice covered her heart, and it shattered into a million pieces. Head high, she walked out without looking back. She knew how to be alone better than she knew how to be with someone.
The fog had covered the night in a thick gray blanket of mist. She wanted to disappear into that mist and become part of it just for a little while so she could cry in peace, and no one would know.
Gideon followed her outside. “Sweetheart, please just listen toreason. You’re surrounded by danger. Harvey Matters and his crew. Whitney. We have no idea if the cops are dirty. You need someone on your side. I know I handled this all wrong, but I did it trying to help you.”
She couldn’t stop herself from swinging around to face him. “Did you, Gideon? Did you tell them because you were trying to help me? Or were you afraid for that woman and her child? Did you tell them because you thought that terrible man sent me to do something horrible to all of you? I dare you to tell me the truth. Look me in the eye and tell me the truth. Say it out loud so I can hear.”
She’d been reasoning out why he would tell his friends. What would be his motives? She’d concluded that he thought she was a threat to all of them.
Gideon didn’t stop until he stood right in front of her. “Rory, Whitney builds traps.”
“It’s an easy enough question, Gideon.”
“No, it isn’t. Once you remember, you’ll understand what I’m saying about him. At least let me help you get your memories back.”
“I find it very interesting how you manage to avoid answering any question you’re certain I won’t like the answer to. Your motivation in telling your friends wasn’t to help me at all, Gideon. Had it been, you would have consulted me first. There is no chance of a relationship between two people when there is no trust. You proved to me that there is no safety with you. No trust with you.”
“That isn’t true.”
“You proved to me it is the truth. You have your friends and family, and they come first in your life. That’s fine. The next woman you find, I suggest you don’t lie to her like you did me. I’m not a threat to any of you. If that horrid man you’re so afraid of sent me or programmed me, he didn’t do a very good job of it. I meant whatI said about calling the police and filing charges. I want to be left alone. There’s no reason for any of you to come near me.”
It hurt just to look at him, and she turned away, no longer able to be near him.
“I have to make sure you get back to your apartment safely.” There was despair in his voice.
She didn’t answer. She wasn’t going to worry about his wounds. That was on him—choices that he made for himself. Then he was gone and Javier was pacing behind her. She should have known. His friends and family would never allow Gideon to put himself in danger any more than he had allowed them to be in danger from her.
