Gedeon pushed down the roar of animal rage. A protest. He kept the tension from showing in his body. “You can’t look at it as worse, Lotus. We’re in this together. I’ll get you through it. Believe me, I’m not going to be just using my fingers or a toy. Shifter couples are exclusive.”
She didn’t reply, but there was a little involuntary shake of her head. Yeah, he had a long way to go to repair the damage. He was making a little progress. She wasn’t crying. She wasn’t trying to pull away or search for another weapon to kill him. She was even relaxing into him.
“What part of what I said made you shake your head?”
“Slayer claimed Whisper. I accept that they’re a mated pair. While she’s in heat, he’ll want to be with her. I understand that.”
“You know leopards mate for life, Meiling.”
Gedeon knew Meiling was aware of the rules in the shifter world. That was a sacred rule. He kept his voice very even. She didn’t want to know, but she had that piece of information.
Meiling rolled off his lap and smoothly got to her feet to pace across the room. It wasn’t a very large room. Gedeondidn’t stay on the bed. He wasn’t taking any chances. Meiling had made her escape once and he’d called in a favor. He knew she would answer her phone, even a burner phone, if Atwater’s daughter, Lilith, called her. She wouldn’t be able to help herself. Meiling had stayed in touch with the child, allowing the little girl to call and video chat with her when she was upset. She’d never once failed to take her call.
He knew she’d gotten rid of her phone, but she hadn’t gotten rid of her number because that was Lilith’s lifeline. Atwater had no idea why Gedeon had asked that Lilith call Meiling, or why he insisted the little girl had to stay on the phone a prescribed length of time, but that was an easy enough request for Atwater to follow. Lilith loved talking to Meiling and she told her every single thing about her day and everyone in it. She sang new songs and showed off her clothes even though it was impossible for Meiling to see through the phone.
Meiling listened attentively and oohed and aahed in all the right places. If Lilith was upset and crying, Meiling soothed her. This time Lilith wanted to know when Meiling would come and visit her. She had drawings she wanted Meiling to see. Gedeon had listened in on the call while it was being traced.
Lilith called Meiling at least once a week. It wasn’t as if it were unusual for the little girl to call her. Gedeon had just made certain he had a professional ready to trace the call. He wasn’t about to leave anything to chance, not when it came to discovering Meiling’s whereabouts. The moment he knew where she was, he didn’t wait, afraid she would change locations immediately. She hadn’t. She had found a little island retreat where there were few people and no shifters, and she was determined to ride out the emergence of her female.
“Slayer and Whisper could have it wrong, Gedeon. It’sWhisper’s first life cycle. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. I don’t know what I’m doing. We could be wrong.”
Meiling leaned against the far wall, hands behind her back, looking lost and alone. Gedeon went right to her. Close. Towering over her.
“You’ve been with me a year, Meiling. In all that time, you trusted me to have your back. We’ve been good partners. We never once had to look to see if the other was going to be there. We knew it with certainty. Slayer knows Whisper is his mate. I know you’re mine. I’ve known it all along. You have to trust me to take care of you through this. I swear to you on my life that I know what to do. You can rely on me, just the way you have through this last year.”
She stood looking up at him, her dark eyes filled with liquid, breaking his heart as she gave a slight shake of her head.
He stepped closer, a hand on either side of her head, caging her in. “Talk to me, Lotus. You’ve always been able to talk to me. I need to know what you’re so afraid of.”
“Don’t you know, Gedeon?”
Her voice was a low whisper. So soft. The sound crept over him like a caress. He shook his head. “No, baby, you’re going to have to spell it out for me.”
She took a deep breath. Let it out. She had courage. She didn’t look away from him. She kept her gaze fixed on his. “I’m in love with you.”
Shelovedhim? Meiling loved him? She looked him right in the eye and said the words to him. She said she wasin lovewith him. His legs wanted to turn to rubber, and his heart melted. She could turn him inside out with her honesty.
“I don’t want a little part of you. I want all of you. Watching you with other women is devastating. I can’t risk you ripping out my heart that way. I just can’t. You have no idea what you did to me that night I walked in on you withthat woman. I knew I couldn’t have that part of you. Your cock. The sex. You gave that to other women, but your room? That was mine. We had that intimacy. No one else. You gave me everything else. At least I told myself I had everything else. I wanted you physically, but if all I got was what I had, I knew I had the best part of you.”
Gedeon remained silent. He wanted to defend himself, but what the hell kind of defense could he mount? He told her what happened. Her female had made Slayer beyond insane. Gedeon had been just as bad, just as out of control. Rene had never seen him so far gone. It hadn’t been Rene’s fault that he misunderstood what Gedeon was telling him. He’d needed a woman and fast, but he’d wanted Rene to get him to the club, not bring a woman to his home.
“She was there. Inmyspace. Where you belonged to me. I was so devastated I didn’t know how to process. I could barely breathe. Or think. The worst of it was, I was enraged. Had I run across that woman I might have killed her. I’m not like that, and it shook me to know I was capable of such a terrible thing as murder simply because I was jealous.”
He had to stop her. “Meiling. No. That wasn’t you. When your female is in heat, her cycle is vicious on her. On you. I’m your mate. You witnessed me with another female. To you that was a betrayal. A female was with the man who was supposed to be with you. Had you been with another man at the club the other night, I would have killed him. I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself. That’s why shifters must be so careful when the woman comes into the Han Vol Dan. The emergence. Passions run so hot.”
“Murder might be passion to you, Gedeon, but it’s horrible and terrifying andshamefulto think I would harm an innocent woman because she was with you consensually. You wanted to be with her.In our room.”
Damn it. She had tears in her eyes all over again. Hervoice dripped with them. How the hell did men do this? “Lotus, don’t. She was never supposed to be there. I don’t bring women to our room. You know that. I never will again. There never will be other women. I swear to you, Meiling. There will never be another woman. It’s only you. It’s always going to be you.”
“I don’t like who I am, loving you. I don’t want to be a woman who would kill another woman because my man cheats on me. I’d rather kill him if I’m going to kill someone.”
“You aren’t going to kill anyone,” he assured her. “I earned your trust. You know I did. Whisper’s rising caught us all off guard. I should have known that was what was happening to us. I’ll admit that. If I hadn’t been so wrapped up in you, I would have figured it out sooner. You know I’ve got a brain. When it comes to you, maybe I’m not so smart. I never had my emotions involved before. But I know now. I’m prepared for what’s going to happen and I can take care of us.”
“What is it you expect of me?”
She looked vulnerable. Fragile. Even scared. Meiling never appeared afraid, and she was afraid of him. He’d done that, frightened her. Made her feel as if he might turn on her at any moment, betray her just to have casual sex with another woman.
“I expect you to be my full partner just as you’ve been this last year. Take on cases with me. I expect that you will meet my needs in the bedroom just as I’ll meet yours. And I expect that you will communicate openly with me so we don’t have misunderstandings, especially during Whisper’s rising.”
