I wanted them to burn.
I wanted them all to burn.
The next day, Dr. Grayson pulled me aside to ask after my welfare, but I waved him off. Jayden caught me one night after he returned from a raid, expression soft as he took in my face. He ran his hand over my curls and gave me a reassuring smile. “It’s going to be okay.”
How could he possess optimism when I drowned under an entire ocean of hatred and terror? I turned from him, loath to find comfort in his arms when my very soul felt as if someone had taken a hacksaw to it.
And yet…
I returned to Lucas the next week and pretended nothing had changed. After all, I couldn’tstopseeing him just because he’dproven himself a killer. It was a fact I should have remembered from the beginning.
“Let’s just move on,” I said when I entered the house.
Hesitant, he handed me the knuckles I’d left on the floor. “It’s going to keep happening. You know that, right?”
“I know. It’s my fault for wanting to think better of you.”
A muscle in his jaw flickered, but he said nothing.
The cut on his lip healed by the second week, and August had almost passed before we reestablished our normal routine. The days sizzled with heat, and my scuffles with Lucas became feats of misery and sweat, but I put in my all because otherwise he complained.
Week after week, he remained his mysterious self. He griped when he thought I was childish, pointed out every instance of my incompetence, and refused to answer the questions I most wanted to know. He continued to gift me with things he believed would keep me safe, the most ridiculous being a pair of tennis shoes after he complained I showed up every week in sandals.
I eyed the gray and purple sneakers. “Are you serious?”
He shoved them at me. “You need reasonable footwear.”
My scowl didn’t deter him.
“Isreasonablebeyond your capabilities?” he asked.
“Is itreasonableto want to kick you in the knee?”
He pointed at the shoes. “You’ll do a lot more damage if you’re wearing those.”
September arrived in a haze of sweat and my own increasing endurance, and as my reservations finally vanished, I gathered the courage to ask about Tekqua.
We sat sweating as usual, both of us on the floor on opposite sides of the room.
“You want me to search for her?” he asked. “We keep records of prisoners.”
I nodded. “Maybe you could help me find her.”
His curious eyes met mine. “Who was she?”
“My best friend.”
I recounted the story of the man I’d shot in the head to save her life—the first person I’d ever killed. After that, it all spilled like water from a tipped jar. I gave him too much information, but I couldn’t stop. I hadn’t spoken of Tekqua to anyone since she’d been captured, and emotions I’d repressed for months flooded the rocky terrain around my heart.
The day she’d disappeared was the only one I couldn’t force from my mouth.
“Where’s Tekqua?” I whisper to Isaac, who’d been on patrol with her.
They’d been missing for days, and he’d just returned—alone.
Isaac flinches at Dr. Grayson’s prodding of his leg. “Captured.”
One word.
