“No!” I shout, shaking him harder. “Princeton!”
“Sophia!” Theo’s voice broke through the memory, and suddenly, I was back in his office, curled over my lap, breathing into my knees. His hand rubbed circles between my shoulder blades, familiar. He’d walked me through these attacks before. “Think of the forest,” he said as my breathing slowed. “Tall trees. Warm rain.”
I nodded, doing my best to imprint my forest over the memory of Princeton. He’d been shot on patrol just a few months ago. The last of my original squad to die.
Unless Tekqua…
No! She wasn’t dead.
“Sorry. I was just thinking about Princeton.”
Theo’s mouth set in a grim line. “At least with this Blood Colonel’s information, you could help us end this. You could stop losing people you love.”
My eyes narrowed, and I wanted to hurt him. “There are none left to lose.”
The stricken flash of sorrow on his face lent me a strange vindication. He took a quick breath. “I didn’t want you to do this. He’s a Hunter. He could hurt you. He could be a double agent and screw us over. But Williams is right. We’re running out of time, and there’s no help in sight. We can fight until we all kill each other, or we can take drastic steps to stop it.”
Happy to be the drastic step you take, I wanted to say.
But I didn’t. What difference would it make?
Trapped in this war-torn portion of the Ohio River Valley, I had nowhere else to go. The Defiance was all I knew, all that mattered. The NAO had stolen everything from me, including my country, and most likely, my best friend. If there was anopportunity to find out vital information about Tekqua, I had to take it.
I should have escaped to Canada when we still had fuel, but back then I was naive enough to believe the good guys would win. I stayed because it was theright thing to do. Nia Williams convinced me we could win the fight for equality. I laid my name to rest on the Defiance registry willingly. I gambled my life on an unwinnable game.
And now?
Leaving was suicide.
Hunters hid in the dark like predators, waiting to pounce. My only chance at safety was staying with the Defiance. Maybe I was in the lion’s den, but I was with Theo, and that had counted for something. Until now.
He returned to his chair, slumped. Grief had weathered him. The stress of commanding this failing rebellion had etched lines into his face. As my late father’s best friend, Theo had always been part of my life. Before all this, he’d still had that soldier stiffness—he’d been a ranking officer in the Special Forces—but he used to smile as I’d run and clutch onto his legs.
“Throw me again, Uncle Theo!”
He’d toss me high in the air.
A different world. A lifetime ago.
Shoving down the pang of nostalgia, I straightened, exhaling a measured breath. My heartbeat slowed and my skin turned clammy. “When do I meet him?”
“Thursday night. Seven o’clock.” He made me memorize an address on Evanston Avenue.
Binding information. Irrevocable.
A permanent handcuff to my new jailer.
The Blood Colonel would have priceless information. He could warn us of devastating attacks. Navigate us throughenemy territory. Help us steal their supplies. He could save lives instead of take them.
If he was telling the truth.
I glared at the floor, and two thoughts struck me.
First, the stark and surprising awareness that I didn’twantto die. There had been times, moments, when I’d thought death preferable. I’d longed for the comfort it could provide, the end of the suffering.
The second thought was a hot wire slicing through my mind.
You deserve this.
