He ignored me. “I am their servant on broken knees.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is.” His hand landed on my neck, his thumb stroking up and down the column of my throat in random patterns and shapes. Aquamarine eyes took me in, growing more curious, more intense. “And yet you’re still here. Why are you still here, Sophia?”
I pressed my palm to his cheek, rough with stubble. “Because you helped people survive, Lucas. It’sourfault we couldn’t save them all. You’re too blinded by the sin to see the good within.”
Stepping closer, he slid his hand into my hair. Fingers anchored until my neck arched and I was looking straight up into his face. “My sins are so vast,” he said, “that no amount of good could compare. It’s like a vat of poison with a drop of antidote.”
My lips parted as I gazed into his eyes, trying to follow his meaning.
“It still kills you. It just does it slower.”
An invisible fist reached inside and twisted, begging me to make that pain in his voice go away. His face was nothing but sharp lines and shadows—the arch of his dark brows, the cut of his cheekbones—but it was the fractured bits of teal in his eyes that captured my full attention.
“Nothing is killing you, Lucas,” I said.
His hand tightened in my hair, dragging us closer together. “What other way do you see this ending? There is no hope. No way out. Nothing but darkness with no clear direction.”
“We—we just keep moving forward.”
“Which way is forward?” he demanded, releasing me. He dug his fingers into his hair and paced away. “I hadone reasonto keep going, even though avenging her won’t change what happened to her. I just wanted retribution, and I figured I’d do as much damage as I could before the NAO discovers I’ve betrayed them and executes me.” He looked up and glared at me. “And thenyou.”
I froze. “Me?”
“Harrison threw you at me, and you couldn’t have been more destructive if you were a fucking grenade.”
My breath caught. “What?”
“I won’t survive this,” he said, making each word clear and sharp, like he thought I might not understand. “I can’t do this forever. I don’twantto do this forever. I can’t keep killing people like this, and I have weeks at most before they discover me.”
I needed to argue, to plead even, but the raw anger in his voice, the sheer agony in the cracks of his mask forced me to stillness.
“I was fine with it,” he snapped, eyes flashing. “Iwantedto die. Untilyou.”
My throat ached with a fresh wave of tears.
“What’s going to happen to you when I’m gone?” he asked. “You’re untrained and reckless, andno onewatches out for you.”
I swiped at a tear. “Then don’t leave. Stay here, with me.”
“I can’tstay, Sophia. There is no route of survival for me. It’s just all going to hurt a lot more now.”
Frustration built inside, at his unwillingness to seek another avenue. “You haven’t even tried?—”
“What?” He prowled closer again, still glaring, his predatory steps silent in the expanse between us. “Triedwhat?”
My voice shrank. “I don’t know, but this isn’t fair to me. You’re mad because you care whether I live or die. I didn’t do that to you.”
He laughed then, bitter and angry. In a sure move that sent tingles spiraling down my legs, he hooked his fingers through the belt loops of my shorts. I was tugged into the hard plane of his chest. “Yes, you did,” he accused. Fiery hands gripped the bare skin of my waist, his fingertips creeping under the hem of my crop top. His eyes were like gemstones—cracked under pressure, barely holding it together. He dipped closer, and the graze of his lips near my ear woke goosebumps all along my spine. “You make everything so much worse. You make me want to live.”
Heat blossomed in my chest, rapid and all-consuming, and I moved on instinct. Our lips met in a hard collision, half desire, half resentment. It was a sigh of relief and a scream of frustration all wrapped inside a powder keg. We needed but a single spark to light it, and the kiss detonated.
His arms circled me so tight I couldn’t breathe.
My hands clenched on his shirt until the fabric protested.
His tongue drew a line across my lower lip, and I opened for him, deepening the kiss beyond anything that was smart or sensible.
