“An ex of mine,” he murmured. “I…well, she grew frustrated with the lack of reciprocated feelings. I warned her. Told her I wasn’t capable of what she wanted.”
“What did she want?” My heart lay in my throat, but I kept my eyes shut.
“Love.” Cillian let out a bitter little laugh. “Some have it in abundance, but I never have.”
“Why stop dating, though?” I asked, ignoring his self-judgment. He seemed to think he was incapable of feelings, of emotions, but I’d collected so many glimpses of him throughout my months here.
“Olivia, she…well, I’d let her in more than most. She’d even worked for me. But then when I broke up with her, she made her betrayal loud and public. Left me with a reminder to never piss off a witch.” His arm shifted around me, and I blinked my eyes open. He rubbed against the black tattoo of a rose on the inside of his forearm.
Olivia. That was the woman who’d caused him to retreat in on himself. My heart twisted tight. “She works for Thorin?”
Cillian stiffened behind me. “How do you know?”
“I heard her name around and looked her up. The information’s not difficult to find for a librarian.” I shifted in his lap so our eyes met. His golden ones were wary, as if he expected I’d stab him in the back. “This is a terminal case of curiosity. That’s it. If you remember, Thorin was about to capture me in the alley because he’d learned I was your personal assistant. My skillset is research, not duplicity.”
His muscles relaxed, and he sucked in a sharp breath. “I wasn’t aware of how much you independently researched.”
“How else will I get any answers? The lot of you lock up tight about most things, and the amount of half responses and avoidance I’ve received has left me with an abundance of questions.”
His chest rumbled with his laugh. “You asked why you? That’s one reason. You’ve been not only tenacious but clever from the moment I met you. Yet you’re not as narrow-minded as manyof the other humans I’ve come in contact with. Too many times, I’ve developed relationships, business or other, only to discover they’re harboring an anti-monster sentiment beneath it all.”
“I may be a little naïve at times, but there’s too much to learn out there in the world to be narrow-minded,” I said, meeting his gaze. “Though I know the exact types you’re referring to.” My coworkers who’d been so eager to push me into the arms of an asshole like Damian were the same ones who’d ignored the occasional monster patron who’d come in, giving them clipped responses and the bare minimum of effort. Those attitudes were still rampant, so I didn’t blame Cillian for his caution.
“So, does all this progress mean you’re going to start answering my questions?” I asked, a smile rising to my lips.
Cillian snorted. “If anything, I’ll evade them even more. Make you work for it.”
“Bastard,” I shot back, even though my grin didn’t falter.
One small question prickled in my mind. One that had emerged ever since I’d seen his library. “Are you the one who’s been leaving me books?”
“Why deprive a librarian of the thing he needs most?” he responded.
My heart thumped hard. Those small gestures—they’d burrowed deep into my heart during my early days here. And it’d been him all along.
He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine, the calmness there the total opposite of the frenzied way he’d returned to the Spires. I wanted to ask him what he’d been up to in the first place, how he’d gotten those wounds, but I was well aware he’d evade. I sank into the solidness of his body, the heat of the water around me, the utter relaxation that settled inside me after he’d given me the best orgasm of my life.
“We should probably get out of the tub at some point,” Cillian said, pointing to the fruit and water he’d brought.
I stiffened. “Right, I’ll head back to my room.”
“What makes you think I’ll let you go, pet?” Cillian wrapped an arm around my torso and drew me against him. My whole body relaxed again. While I was no stranger to hooking up, after what I’d experienced with Cillian I wasn’t sure how I’d handle being back in my room in the aftermath. Not after tonight.
He scraped his fangs over my shoulder, and the contact made me shiver. Fuck, I shouldn’t still be turned on after the way he’d taken me, but my body raced with a newfound electricity around him.
Admitting how much I wanted to stay here made me feel a little bit too vulnerable tonight. “What if I try to run?”
“Haven’t you figured that out yet?” Cillian responded, rich amusement in his voice. “I’ll catch you.”
Chapter 18
Sleeping with my boss and captor was making me view this arrangement in an entirely different light.
It could’ve been the regular sex or that he fucked me so hard I couldn’t walk straight after—those endorphins were nothing to be scoffed at—but my outlook on being here had shifted since we’d first fucked a few weeks ago. And more often than not, I’d been spending my nights in Cillian’s room. We hadn’t discussed the parameters of our arrangement or what this might mean, but I wouldn’t turn down the contact I’d craved for a long, long while.
I brewed some coffee in the kitchen, which this late in the morning was empty. Cillian didn’t have any meetings today that I needed to attend, and he’d locked himself in an office, so I’d wandered off to get myself food. My ass was sore, although the more I took his massive cock, the more I adjusted to the girth, the heft, the…knot. Ungh. I leaned against the counter and closed my eyes for a moment, savoring the memory.
“You’ve actually come up for air?” Charles’s voice sounded from the doorway, and I blinked. “Thought you’d gotten lost in the West Wing.”
