Beckett’s standingat the edge of the quarry when I finally make it to him, and unease slithers into my stomach. He’s staring down at the lake, swinging a set of keys around his index finger, whistling jovially.
He looks more like the kid I recall—even from just a year ago, before our father sank his claws into his heart and tried to ruin everything. It’s the first time since his own cave incident that I can remember him smiling when he notices me approach.
“Oh good, I was worried you wouldn’t come.” The smile is lopsided, marred by scars, but I count it anyway.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Well, I heard your girlfriend was in pretty rough shape,” he says. “She should really be careful about the caves she wanders into. Or the high-rise offices out west.”
I give him a look. “You’re being awfully cryptic.”
“Maybe you’re just an idiot.”
Clearing my throat, I glance around the wooded area, kicking at some loose dirt on the ground. “I’m getting bored. If you’re trying to play mind games, you’ll need a different partner. I wanted nothing to do with Father’s, I certainly don’t want anything to do with yours.”
Is he going to admit what he did?
“I’m not doing anything,” Beckett insists, grabbing my shoulder. “Just making idle conversation with my big bro.”
I shake off his hold. “You seem different from last night. Did something happen?”
He drops his head back, groaning. “Did you badger Bellamy this much before you snuck out to go to that party with her, or did you just fucking go because she was your sister?”
“I went because she asked, yes.” A pause, regret solidifying in my chest, my heart. “But I wish I’d asked more. I wish I’d not taken the drink I was offered and stayed closer to her side. I wish for a lot of things, Beckett.”
“Hindsight is twenty-twenty.”
“Yeah, and Bellamy is dead. I can’t rectify any of that.” Bending down, I look him in the eyes, though his dart around me to avoid direct contact. “After you came close to a similar fate, I don’t want unspoken regrets hanging between us. I’m your older brother. If something is wrong, tell me. If you’ve done something bad,lean on me. Let me help fix it.”
I’m tearing a page from Quincy’s book, but whatever. She was right anyway. As the oldest sibling, my job is supposed to be making sure my brother and sisters are safe and taken care of.
Our parents certainly weren’t doing it.
I failed Bellamy, but I’ll be fucking damned if I lose Beckett to anything the same way.
Beckett runs his hands over his face, scratching at his skin as if frustrated. I take a step back as he lets out a series of disgruntled noises, rattling the trees with his ire.
“Why do you have to be such a Goody Two-Shoes?” He walks in a circle, his face still covered. “Most people would hate me after I nearly got their students killed and definitely after what I did to their girlfriend.”
He comes to an abrupt stop behind me at the same time the air grows thick around us. Slowly, I turn my head to meet his gaze.
“So you’re admitting it.” Each word is gritted through clenched teeth, dripping with malice.
“You knew?”
“Elle said she was attacked and brought to the caves. I had my suspicions.”
“And you’re still standing here, begging to help me?” He scoffs, incredulous. “You’re something else, Sutty. Truly the golden child. It’s a shame Father didn’t appreciate you more.”
“Tell me why you did it.”
“Father… I was just trying to make my father happy. I didn’t want him to die without satisfying his wishes, and I thought…I thought going along with it would make him proud of me.” His blue eyes grow heavy with tears, making him look so fucking young that it’s almost painful to see.
My father.For some reason, the distinction there feels odd, and I take a step back, trying to make sense of the sudden breakdown. Beckett’s spiraling out of control, and maybe it was only a matter of time, but I’m also not sure what to do about it.
We’re in the middle of the forest, where no one else will likely traverse for hours. If he hurts me—or worse, himself—I’m not sure how I’ll subdue him and protect myself at the same time.
Christ, I shouldn’t have come out. Should’ve had him meet me somewhere more populated, although then his meltdown would be witnessed by others. They’d judge him more than they already have, and that would just make everything worse.
