“I’m so sorry,” she whispers, leaning into my touch. “It was an accident, Iswear. A knee-jerk reaction that?—”
“It’s okay,” I mutter, pressing my thumb to her lips. It’s not okay, not even a little, but God, I can’t stand her crying. My heart feels like it’s being shredded into a million little pieces, and I can’t tell which woman I’m dying inside for.
“No, it isn’t,” she insists, her voice catching on a sob. “You can’t just say that and ignore this. You have to feel, Sutton. Or else it’s going to eat you alive even more, and then what happens five, ten, fifteen years from now, when your heart is just dust because you refused to ever nurture it?”
Despair enlarges her pupils, and she begins shaking her head, losing focus. I squeeze her face and press my lips to her forehead.
“Lecturing me when you’ve just changed my entire life feels a little hypocritical, don’t you think?”
A wheeze escapes her. “But you?—”
“Need time to process.” Lifting her face, I force her to meet my eyes, swallowing over the hard knot in my throat. The pulsing behind my brow intensifies, making me lightheaded, but I ignore it.
“Time?”
“Yes.” A long, painful pause. “And some space.”
She lets out a watery exhale, removing my hands from her cheeks. “You’re breaking up with me.”
“That isn’t what I said.”
When she closes her eyes, it takes every ounce of willpower I have not to wrap her in my arms again. I resist, stuffing my hands into my pants pockets.
My soul aches with the distance already.
Finally, she nods, sniffling into her sleeve, and opens her eyes once more. Turning on her heels, she heads for the door, shoulders slumped and head down. With her hand on the doorknob, she pauses, looking to the side.
Waiting for me to come after her.
My feet twitch. I almost do.
Almost.
“Should I not have told you?”
I shake my head. “I think it’s important you did.”
“Time and space, huh?” She scoffs, wiping two fingertips across her cheekbones. They come away wet, and I feel like I’m being swallowed by the earth.
She opens the door and takes a step out, slicing my heart into a thousand little bite-size pieces.
“Did she say anything?” I ask quickly, before she’s over the threshold. “Before…”
Elle pauses again. Shakes her head sadly.
The bite-size pieces are diced even smaller. There’re millions of them now, and I’m bleeding out on the floor, staining the rug.
“No. She didn’t get the chance.”
48
ELLE
“Time and space.What novel concepts. Do you think boys are aware that both of those things can exist without shutting other people from your life?”
Aurora paces back and forth in our room as she breaks in a new pair of designer heels. I shouldn’t have confided in her about the whole Sutton situation, but it’d been going on three days of no contact, and I was starting to lose my mind.
I even went back to class this morning just for an excuse to see him—only to find out he’d canceled for the week.
