Even if last night felt like a hell of a lot more than two people simply obliterating every line drawn between them. I won’t get my hopes up for that either.
I lie in the bed for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling, taking stock of the state of my body. My muscles are a little sore, and there’s a slight ache between my legs that I haven’t felt in a long time. Gently, I close my eyes and slide my hand lower, tracing along my seam as I try to re-create the delicious patterns Sutton drew and licked mere hours ago.
Arousal strangles my throat as the memories pulse against my brain; I push one finger inside, choking on a soft moan and tilting my head back.
A sudden gust of air pours over me like ice-cold water, and my eyes snap open to find Sutton standing over me, already dressed in a deep forest-green sweater and brown slacks. He perches on the edge of the mattress, fiddling with a sleeve, watching me with liquid heat in his green eyes.
“Don’t stop on my account.” The tendons in his neck strain against his skin. “Open wider and let me see what you’re doing.”
For some reason, I feel shy, and my legs go to close instead. “I don’t?—”
He palms both my knees, stopping me. “I didn’t last long enough before to get to do everything I’d like to, but I’ll watch one way or the other. Your choice, baby.”
“And here you said you didn’t know how to flirt when we first met.”
“I didn’t,” he says, flashing me a goofy grin. “You just like me, so you respond to everything I say, whether it’s corny or not.”
“But I don’t…” Swallowing, I force a shaky breath and pull my hand away. “I don’t want this to be all we do.”
His eyebrows arch. “Who says it would be? Can’t a guy just want to appreciate his woman first thing in the morning?”
“I’m not really your woman, though, am I?” I chew on my lip, unsure of why I’ve chosen this exact moment but unable to stop the insecurities from tumbling out. When you leave a pot boiling for too long, it’s bound to spill over. “I mean, we can fuck in private all we like, but what does that really mean if you can’t even tell anyone about it?”
“I wasn’t aware you needed to announce our status to the whole campus in order for it to count,” he says, a tinge of hurt lacing his words.
Throat constricting, I sit up, pulling the covers over me. “It counts. I’m just wondering how much.”
“Would it make you feel better if I offered you a role in exchange? Maybe we could explain to the class you should fill in for Sabrina because I like how you ride my?—”
My eyes widen, and I blink as he abruptly stops speaking. There’s a sharp sting against one of my cheeks, the sensation of being slapped reverberating off my skin even though he hasn’t touched me.
I push the sheets off and throw my legs over the bed. “I should go.”
He drops his face as I stand up, searching for my clothes. His hand lashes out, grabbing my wrist and trying to pull me back. “Elle, Christ, I didn’t mean that.”
“It’s fine,” I say, twisting out of his grip. “You can’t be with me in public, I get it. It’s not fair of me to ask for more anyway.”
“Elle.”
“Honestly, Sutton, it’sfine.” I give him a watery smile, leaning up on my toes to kiss him.
He looks as if he wants to beg me to stay, but I mention I have a test in astronomy that I can’t miss, so he lets me leave.
There’s a numbness in my chest as I go through the motions, attending the two classes I have scheduled for the day and finding myself in the refectory, wondering how Sabrina’s doing. I spot Lexington and Percy arguing over the differences between beans and legumes and plop down at their table to see if they’ve heard anything.
“She’s back in her dorm,” Percy says, scooping some turkey chili onto a spoon and shoveling it into his mouth. “As of this morning, I think the dean said.”
“Professor Dupont didn’t tell you?” Lexington asks, cocking a brow.
I narrow my eyes at him. “Why would he have mentioned it?”
Lexington shrugs, leaning back in his chair. He smooths his fingers over the collar of his peacoat, giving me a lazy, taunting look. “You two were the last ones at rehearsal, I heard. Just thought maybe it would have come up.”
Suspicion clouds my mind, but I force a neutral expression onto my face, plucking at the grapes on my plate. “I doubt it’s within Avernia policy to discuss personal matters like that with students.”
He snorts but says nothing else.
Percy glances between us and then shrugs. “You wanna go see her? I know where her dorm is.”
