Elle tracks the movement of my hand as I drag the back of it across my mouth. “How come you never drink?”
“What?”
“Well, the night I met you at Lethe’s, you were just sitting there with your wine. You never tasted it,” she says. “And in here, there’s no hidden bottle of scotch, no decanter of whiskey like a lot of the other professors seem to keep. I was just wondering why. Is it the migraines?”
“Alcohol can exacerbate them, yes.” My expression flattens. “Did you go through my things?”
Again, she shrugs. “I got bored waiting. Guess you took too long working through your frustration of seeing me with someone else…someone promising to make me happy for the first time inyears.”
“You came the night we met,” I point out. “Seemed pretty fucking happy to me.”
She grins. “That isn’t what I meant. Lexington was going to let me finish my audition is all. Said I could go back to his dorm room in Cadmus if I wanted. So he could get the full effect.”
Irritation spills into my blood. I set the bottle down, slowly edging my way back around the front of the desk.
“Is that so?” I ask, though it comes out much rougher than I intend. Almost a growl.
She nods, shaking out her hair and lifting her face toward the ceiling. “You know what they say. The early bird wins the leading actress.”
“I don’t think that’s the phrase.”
“Nobody asked for your opinion?—”
Slamming my hands on either side of her hips, I grip the edge of my desk until it feels like my fingernails might splinter against the wood finish. She jolts, her hazel eyes widening as her face falls forward, level with mine when I lean in.
The scent of vanilla and honey is overwhelming, but I don’t pull away yet.
“I believe you did ask my opinion,” I tell her, moving so I can feel her breath skate across my lips when I speak. An indirect coupling of sorts that has to satiate this hunger I have for her, or else I might snap further. “You want to know why I cut off your audition. Right? That’s why you’ve broken into my office again and are sitting on my desk in this short little dress, waiting for me like a decadent dessert desperate to be devoured.”
“Your alliteration is impeccable?—”
“You should know better than to assume I’d ever cut someone off because of petty feelings or to be mean,” I continue. “I didn’t end your audition early because I didn’t want to hear the rest. In fact, I could have sat there through the night listening to only your recitation of Desdemona fantasizing about how to win her husband back, even after he’s been cruel to her.If I never hear another rendition of a monologue again, I will be satisfied.”
That goddamn word again. It causes heat to flicker in her gaze, making the nerves in my chest pull tight.
Her eyes widen, like two dark moons of iridescent awe. “You thought it was good?”
My brows pull together, confusion knitting between them. Has no one ever told her before that she’s talented?
“So phenomenal that I wanted to keep it for myself,” I whisper, suddenly acutely aware of just how close we are. How easy it would be to lean forward and seal our mouths together again. “I know it’s selfish, and I know it goes against everything I’ve been saying this semester. You must be confused, and I regret…I regret that my own issues have caused this rift between us.”
“I don’t mind if you’re selfish,” she says softly. “I like knowing I’m not alone in this. But if anyone should feel bad, it’s me. I’ve just been thinking of myself this entire time. I have this awful habit of overcorrecting and doing too much, and I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” I don’t touch her, though every muscle in my body aches to. “I’m not sure I would’ve had the courage to try had you not chased so thoroughly. Iwasusing my position here to keep you away, and that wasn’t fair either. Not with the extent of how terribly I long for you.”
“Really?” Her voice is small, like she doesn’t believe me.
“Really.”
“The rumors about me?—”
“I don’t care,” I rush out.
“But I do,” she says. “They’re not…totallyuntrue, but they are greatly exaggerated. I wasn’t sleeping with everyone for work. It was just once with this director, Aaron, and hisgirlfriend. They said they could get me a part, and I stupidly believed them. It was a big mistake. I’d take it back if I could.”
“I’m sorry if I made you feel you needed to defend yourself,” I say, my chest pinching. “Your past makes no difference to me. And there isnothinggoing on with me and your sister. She merely had the most open schedule, and I thought maybe a buffer would be a good idea after…well, you know.”
“After you kissed me?”
