“Forever,” he reminds me, and I finally feel a small smile trying to fight its way past the weight on my chest.
“Forever.”
Mine
Fritz
I can’t fucking do this.
I can totally do this.
I can’t risk the woman I love like this.
I have to do what it takes to keep her forever.
I can’t hurt her, even temporarily.
I need to give her this gift, this one thing she’s asked of me in return for everything she’s given.
I can’t—
“Fritz?” Bel asks, reaching across the bed in her sleep-drunk state.
“I’m right here,” I tell her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her onto my chest. While I told her she needed to rest, I just laid here and watched her do so, ensuring no nightmares— in her dreams or reality— kept her awake.
“What time is it?” she mumbles. I strongly consider lying, wishing I could let her have a few more hours or even minutes of peace before she has to face the world again.
But I can’t.
“It’s nearly nine, Isla just stepped out to get you some breakfast.”
She snuggles further into me, seeking the same comfort I crave in this last moment of calm. She’s so unbelievably perfect, so trusting, so sure of me in a way that I’ve never felt worthy of. And if in this moment I fail her, it’s very likely going to kill her.
“Did you get any sleep?” she asks with that indulgent smile that tells me she already knows the answer is no.
“I don’t need sleep quite like you do, sweet girl, remember?” I tease, running my nose along hers. Gods, if I weren’t so fucking terrified, I’d be making her scream my name right now. Doinganythingto distract her from the loss we might face today. The one we may have already suffered and just don’t know it. But as it is, I’m unsure I could even get it up right now, considering what’s to come.
Thoughts swirl around in my head of all the things we may see that I myself am not prepared for. I can’t even imagine how it will be for her, seeing him torn to pieces and in unimaginable agony. If he’s given the time, his antler will grow back, but it’s torture to do so, and it’s the only part of us that takes weeks to properly heal.
But of course, the hunters would know that. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if they use them as trophies for the demons they send to that hell.
I’ll follow Bel to the ends of the earth without so much as asking twice, but if Cas is already gone, she’ll be facing an eternity without him.
Could I ever be enough for her if that were to happen?
Surely not.
“Where did you go?” she asks, trying to tame the errant curl falling in my eyes.
“I just… I umm, what if we can’t get him back?” my voice cracks, vision blurring again.
“We will,” she assures me.
“And if he’s already gone?” I’m sure she’s considered the possibility herself, even if she won’t say it out loud.
“Then it’s you and me,” she says so bravely, despite the shaky way the words try to come out.
“And is that enough? Just me?” I’m unsure when I became the type to feel inadequate, but it’s certainly a new feeling that I’m not happy about.
