“Oh, my God. No,” I laugh, causing his face to fall. “I need to call my parents back, remember? I told them I would like three days ago. They’re still pissed I didn’t go home for Thanksgiving.”
Caspian shrugs, continuing his meal, “Okay, so go call and then we’ll eat you. Simple.”
“She’s not in the mood, Cas,” Fritz explains.
“Not in the mood? I don’t understand.”
I can’t bite back the smile his confusion gives me. I’m unsure how to explain to him that I’m simply all sexed and touched out right now.
Fortunately, Fritz explains it better than I ever could. “Cas, she’s not a machine,” he laughs. “Her body needs to rest from being touched so much. Her mind needs to rest from it, too. All the endorphins and the come down after can be overwhelming. She’s also dreading talking to her mom, so the last thing she’s gonna be able to focus on right now is getting off.”
Those two things should never be put together in the same sentence.But he’s not wrong.May as well get this over with now.
After the third ring, my mom’s voice comes over the speaker, followed shortly by my dad’s, both saying hello.
“What’s had you so busy you couldn’t text me back?” my mom wastes no time asking.
“I’ve been busy working,” I half-lie. I can’t tell them I’ve picked up and moved. I’ll never hear the end of it. In the years I had lived in that apartment, they’d come to see it twice, so it’s not like they’re going to find out.
“Hm,” my dad humphs. His definition of work definitely doesn’t include my career, and he never cares to hide it. “And what about thesetwoboyfriends I’ve heard about?”
I sigh, “Where would you have even heard about that?” I certainly was not ready to discuss this with them.
My mom answers, “Your aunt called and asked why two men are posting you on their pages.”Fucking gossips.
Without missing a beat, Dad goes in for the kill, “You know, Bel, I thought maybe you had grown out of this stage.”
“What stage is that?” I ask through gritted teeth.
“The stage where you feel the need to rebel against everything we’ve taught you. I mean first it was you spending time with that girl, the one who thinks she’s attracted to everyone. Now, obviously, I don’t judge, but I just don’t understand it.”
Weird. That certainly sounds like judgment.
“Have you been taking your medication?” Mom cuts in. At her tone, I can feel my left eye start to twitch.
“Yes, mother. Me and my SSRI are doing great, thanks.” A balm smooths over the worst of my rage at her question. When I look at Fritz to see if he’s guilty, he winks and gives me a thumbs up.
With an exasperated sigh, she continues, “Well, you know we love you honey, you just… you start to act like this when you’re off your meds. Remember in high school when you tried saying that boy forced-”
I cut her off before she can drag me back down that road, “My mental health is fine, and I’m notrebelling.Living the way I decide, regardless of your thoughts on it, is not rebelling. It’s just… living.”
“Well,” my dad clears his throat, “As long as you’re continuing tolivein a way that’s so against our beliefs, I think it’s best if you don’t come around. I’m not going to let you ruin the rest of my children with your… lifestyle choices.”
I wonder if they think it still hurts when they use that threat against me. If that’s the point. But it doesn’t matter. It stopped hurting years ago. Now, it only proves that I’m not like them and don’t want to be.
“K.”
“Okay? That’s it?” Mom seems offended. “You’d just give up on your family like that?”
There’s no point in telling her that they gave up on me first, “Well, yeah.”
My dad releases one last sigh, threaded with the guilt trip he’s perfected over the years. “I just really thought you were better than this.”
“Well, I’m not. Soooo I guess that’s it. Happy Holidays. Tell the girls I love them.”
I hang up the phone, not willing to hear their rebuttal. Within moments, Fritz wraps his arms around me, followed closely by Caspian. If I wasn’t so full of painkillers, I’m pretty sure I’d be crying again. As it is, I can barely manage one tear of frustration.
“I’m sorry, my Dove,” Caspian tells me, smoothing down my hair.
