Grabbing the brush, I try pulling it through my hair, practically ripping the strands from the roots. Frustrated tears start to blur my vision, causing me to release a small shriek, throwing the stupid thing across the bathroom. I bury my head in my hands, willing away the image of another head of red hair being pulled and—
*Knock* *knock*“Bel, Sweets, can I come in?” Fritz asks gently from the other side of the door.
I sniffle and swipe away my tears beforemhmming my assent. He unlocks the door and slowly steps inside, closing it behind him. The first thing I notice is theMonster Fudgercoffee mug in his hand.
“That’s Caspian’s,” I tell him, ignoring the lump in my throat as visions of Alastor holding that mug plague me. I shake them away, “I don’t want it. Get it away from me.”
With a confused frown, he nods, sending it through theAetheror whatever before grabbing another and pulling it through to him. In the next room, Caspian shouts, “HEY! I was drinking that.” I loose a small laugh before thanking Fritz.
He walks to where my brush landed on the tile and lifts it up, “May I?”
I nod, though truthfully, the only thing I want to do is shave all of it off. He grabs the bench and gestures for me to sit. Once I do, he places my replacement coffee on the counter and gently moves my hair behind me.
He uses only the most soothing, tender movements with my long tresses that I used to love so much. He takes his time pulling the brush through, smoothing it with conditioner when need be before he starts braiding it back. But none of it matters because every time the red reflects the light, I picture the way it would look smeared with blood.
“Fritz,” I utter suddenly. He pauses midway through the second braid, “I need a haircut. A big one.”
He nods slowly, “We can get you an appointment,” he continues his braiding, “Do you want to tell me why?”
“I just- I can’t brush it anymore anyway. What’s the point?” I give him half the truth, unwilling to share the rest.
“Your hand will heal,” he urges, “You’ll be able to brush it again in no time.”
“No,” I laugh without humor, “It won’t.Iwon’t. My whole hand throbs, aside from my ring finger, which feels like it’s asleep. We both know what that means.”
He can’t argue with that; thankfully, he doesn’t bother. Once finished with my hair, he helps me rise and kisses me on the cheek, guiding me out of the bathroom lest I stay there staring at the offending tresses all day. I thankfully note Caspian’s absence. The embarrassment of both of them seeing me like this might be more than I can bear.
Fritz helps me dress myself, much like Caspian did yesterday, and with every soothing touch, I want to fucking scream. I hate this. I don’t want their fucking help. I just want—fuck, what do I want?
“I want to go back and kill every one of those fuckers,” I announce halfway through Fritz pulling my arms through my T-shirt.
If he’s surprised by my outburst, he doesn’t show it. Only responds, “I know, Songbird. Me, too.” He stands to his full height, placing both hands on my shoulders, “But it wouldn’t be safe.”
“Fuck safe,” I shove him away and instantly regret it, the sharp pain in my hand ricocheting up my arm. “What about what’s right? You didn’t see them, Fritz. You didn’thearit, or have to smell the stench of those prisoners suffering.”
“So tell me,” he pleads, “Tell me everything. Let mehelpyou, Bel. Please.”
“He made me watch.” At his silence, I continue, “He made me watch him gut a girl who looksjust like meas her demon wailed in agony. After he made countless slices across her stomach and chest and arms, he smiled, grabbed her hair to wrench her head back, and partially slit her throat, ensuring an incredibly long and painful death. And he made me watch the whole thing.”
If his silence before was comforting, this one is stifling, the room dropping several degrees.
“He told me,” I sniffle, “That if I looked away for even a moment, he would bring out another one. Then they dragged her away like trash while she still fought to stay alive, choking on the blood filling her throat.”
Before I can say anything else, Fritz wraps his arms around me, holding me against his chest, “We’ll do whatever you need, Bel. I’ll get you the justice they deserve if it’s the last thing I do. I swear on everything I am.”
Letting my tears soak his shirt, I cling to him. The types of comfort from Fritz and Caspian are vastly different, and I think distantly how lucky I am to get both of them. I try not to think too hard about it just now because I’m already a wreck, and I just want tostop crying.
“But,” he continues. I instantly tense up, waiting for the shoe to drop, “I have stipulations.”Fucker.
“Like what?” I try to pull from him, but he doesn’t release me from his embrace.
He wraps my braids gently around a hand, pulling so my eyes connect with his, “Number one, we do itmyway. That means slowly, with a plan,” I nod, and he places a teasing kiss on my lips before proceeding, “Two. We need Caspian’sandEamon’sandIsla’s help.”
“No. Not Isla,” I won’t let her get involved.
“Baby, she’s already a part of this. She’s smarter than any of us. We need her. And she’ll do it in a heartbeat. It’s non-negotiable,”non-negotiable, my ass. I open my mouth to tell him as much, but he pushes his lips to mine, slightly more forceful than before.
“Three, you move to my suite. It’s not safe for you here anymore,” that one’s an easy sell. Just being in the living room last night made me sick to my stomach. I’ll be more than happy to flee from here, even if it means breaking my lease. I nod and tell him as much.
