“Things were not… the way they are now. Tasha was a young woman, one I cared for,” not anything close to my growing feelings for Bel, but I digress, “I was not her first, but we were intimate several times.”
Bel scoffs, “And then she found out what you are and turned you in?”
“I am not in the habit of hiding my true form from those I’m intimate with. A lie about my existence would make any consent given null, don’t you think?” I explain, and her jaw drops.
“So she knew? She knew the whole time?” Her voice is growing in volume with each response, and her righteous fury is so beautiful I want to kiss her. All over. I want to turn her cheeks red for entirely less holy reasons.
“She did. She even spoke on one occasion about the claiming,” I had no intention of doing that with her, but that is beside the point. “But then her family discovered that she was no longerpure.”I hate that fucking word.
She’s lost, so I explain, “In those times, in many communities, it was common to kill an impure woman. They deemed it a matter of morality. An impure woman was considered a disgrace to her family. Usually they knelt around them, prayed for God’sforgiveness,then hung her in front of the entire town.”
“Jesus,” she mutters.
“That’s the guy,” I wink, trying to downplay the horrors I witnessed. She doesn’t need to know just how many young women and girls were subject to this heinous practice. “When Tasha was found to not be amaiden, her choices were to accept that fate or to place blame on the demon whotrickedandseducedher.”
“You,” her voice shakes, a tear running down her face.
“Me.” I confirm, “Of course I was furious, and I could have confessed about her other dalliances, had I been a crueler being. But it wouldn’t have mattered. My life was forfeit either way, being what I am.”
“So she turned you over to save herself.”
“Can you blame her?” I ask, “I do not.” Bel releases countless tears and silent sobs, all for me and my suffering.
I grab the hand she has clenching the center divider, “Bel. She did not deserve the end they would have given her, and my time in Vankhala allowed her tolive,possibly even have children and grow old. I suffered immensely, but truly I would not take back my choice to remain silent.”
Suddenly pulling over, she buries her face in her hands, stating, “I don’t care. She made you suffer. She’s horrible and I hope she’s in Hell.”
I awkwardly pull her closer to me, “She did what she had to do to survive. Anyone else would do the same.”
She pushes me away, “I wouldn’t. I wouldneverdo that to you.”
“You absolutely fucking better,” I argue.
“No. I’ll die before I let myself be the reason you do.”
I grab her behind her jaw, cupping her neck and pulling her to me, I order, “If it ever came down to it, and you had to choose between saving me or yourself, you pick yourself. I do not care what happens, you do not suffer for me. Ever.”
She wants to argue further, but I don’t let her. I plant a firm kiss on her lips before I pull back and urge her, “Please. Promise me.” with a broken voice that sounds wholly unfamiliar to me.
Her tears slow, and she whispers, “Okay, I promise.”
“Thank you,” I breathe a sigh of relief, then proceed to lick every tear from her face like the depraved animal I am.
The idea of anyone or anything thinking they can take my Bel away from me has me feeling murderous. I’m going to need to go take care of those urges once she’s safely tucked in bed. Although Fritz still has the compass, so I’m unsure how far my circle of protection ranges. I sigh internally, surmising I’ll have to hold off on any more violence until him and I can go in search of the dead-man who hurt Bel.
Getting to see Fritz again was a pleasant surprise. Bel wanting to watch us fuck was an even better surprise, and she was ethereal in her pleasure. I have never needed to fuck someone as badly as I do her. I need to have every bit of her; I’ll have to claim her eventually.
I shouldn’t. It’s morally reprehensible, and Bel doesn’t deserve the torture of being tied to me in such a way. But knowing that she would live through anything and everything, even if I’m not here to witness it, gives me peace.
It should be Fritz. He thinks he would kill her but I know he wouldn’t. He feels her as intrinsically as I do, somehow. He would stop before he harms her, of that, I’m sure.
But would she even want that kind of bond with one of us? She would be constantly influenced by our emotions, drawn to us like a magnet, no matter how far we are, or if she one day changed her mind.
It’s eternal, and she’s not ready for words like eternity.
In an effort to entertain myself on the drive, I play around with the phone Norman retrieved for me. I have no need for most of the features on it, but being able to call Bel when we are apart will be wonderful. Fritz also added a contact number for himself, and someone called Eamon.That must be his friend who runs the counteraction against the hunters.Hopefully, I never have need to call him, but better to be cautious.
Bel begins humming along to the songs again, and I know I could live in just this moment forever. When she sings something about a hideaway, she lulls me straight to sleep.
