So his education starts where every hot guy should start. Spicy audiobooks that are written by women for women. Maybe he’ll even pick up some dirty talking skill for—no. Bad Bel. Stop that.I will not be fucking this man. Demon. Demon-man. Gorgeous, funny, unhinged, sweet demon man.God damn it.
Is he snoring?
I turn down my music a bit and look over. Sure enough, this beast of a man has his head tilted back, mouth wide open, snoring. Moving as discreetly as I can, I grab my phone from its home in the center console and snap a quick picture. I know being on the phone while driving is dangerous, but no one would ever believe this happened otherwise.Idon’t even believe it, and I’m looking right at him.
I’ll just let him sleep for now. Let him enjoy the wicked dreams he’s probably having, courtesy of the background noise he’ll have in them. I turn my music back up and try to focus on just driving. But since I am who I am, my mind tends to wander.
Isla is going to absolutely fucking kill me if she finds out I went on vacation without her. Not that it’s a vacation, but I can’t exactly tell her that. Maybe one day I’ll be able to explain all of this to her. Probably not, because how could anyone comprehend this without seeing it?
And why won’t Caspian tell me more about these hunters or the compass? He made it seem so simple, but it can’t possibly be. The compass not working around me makes sense because we were bound for protection, and the only threat to him is them, I guess. But have these hunters been around forever? Do they only hunt demons, or do they hunt all kinds of monsters? Are there other monsters out there? If there are demons, it makes sense that there would be. Vampires and sirens and werewolves and Fae? It’s all impossible. But I’ve seen it.
“You are thinking very loudly over there, Little Dove,” Caspian mutters without so much as cracking an eye. I didn’t even realize he had woken up.
“Am not,” I argue.
“Your heart is racing, your breath coming in very quick little heaves, and you reek of fear suddenly. What is happening?” Now I have his full attention. Headphones around his neck, eyes trained on me, “Is there a nearby threat?”
“No, Caspian, everything is fine.” I try reigning it in, but it’s just hitting me how much bigger this is than just him and I. Everything I’ve ever known is wrong, and the proof is right in front of me. After a quarter century of life, that’s a disastrous upheaval to deal with in just a few days. “I just… I think I need to take a breather,” I announce.
Since we are on a somewhat deserted road, I decide it’s best to just pull over before I crash us into a cactus. As soon as the car is in park, I unbuckle my seat and hop out, walking to a nearby curb to sit and put my head between my knees. He follows behind me and sits a respectable distance away, giving me the space I need to breathe.
“What has put you in such a state, Belissenda?” He’s so concerned that it makes me want to retch.This is humiliating.
“I just started thinking about what all this means.” I throw my hands around as if I can show him what I’m referring to that way.
“What all what means?” He scoots a bit closer and puts a hand on my back, rubbing slow, soothing circles.
“You. Demons being real. I’m just having a hard time wrapping my head around what it means for everything I’ve been taught my whole life.” I bury my face in my hands, the worst of my nausea over. “I don’t know what to believe now that my beliefs have been ripped to shreds right in front of me. And if I don’t know what to believe, I don’t know how to make any decisions going forward.
“If I wasso wrongmy whole life, my judgment is obviously skewed. And I’m just going to keep believing and thinking the wrong things over and over and over again.”
“You are being unkind to yourself, Bel.” He states. Still comforting me with his warm hand, he adds, “You believe what you do because it’s what you’ve beenallowedto believe. Those who hold the power control what information you’ve been given. You made decisions and assumptions without all the pieces necessary. Is your lack of knowledge your own fault? Of course not. You cannot blame yourself for not knowing what you did not know.”
He begins to card his fingers gently through my hair, lowering his voice, “You can’t go back and fix it. All you can do is choose who to become now that you have more answers. Would you rather go back to having your head in the sand?” I shake my head without looking at him. “No. Becauseyouare a warrior who will face this new world head-on. Look, see? We’re the same in that. And we shall both rise and make the most of the new world we are fortunate enough to live in.”
Without thinking, I throw my arms around his shoulders in this godawful, half hug, half me-sprawled-across-his-lap thing. He wraps his arms around me, holding me to him, and states, “There she is. There’s my brave one.” He allows me to stay in his arms for as long as I need until I feel steady enough to extract myself from him and stand.
“Thank you.” It doesn’t seem like a big enough sentiment for the comfort he just gave, but it’s all I’ve got.
“You are most welcome. I… appreciate your willingness to share your feelings with me. I imagine it wasn’t easy for you.” The sincerity and understanding on his face nearly bring me to tears.How can this be the same being who tried to kill me?
I can’t let myself think about that right now, or we will never make it to Vegas. “Let’s get back on the road. We’re 100% going to hit traffic in the city now.”
This Place Stinks
Caspian
Getting closer to our destination, I start to feel a bit restless. We’ve been sitting still in the automobile for hours, and I can feel the energy practically pulsing from the city. From this distance, I can see a skyline full of different shapes and colors of buildings, no two completely alike.
I consider what Bel has been going through. I fear maybe I’ve pushed her too hard, but what can be done? I could not have avoided her seeing what I am, thus destroying her belief system and giving her countless questions all at once. Being forced to lie to her best friend and essentially being trapped in my proximity, it can’t be easy for her.
She knows exactly what and who I am, and she still chose to seek comfort in my arms during her difficult moment. As long as she allows it, I will always stand beside her through her fights. Be it those happening in the world or just in her head. She just has to realize that she wants that as much as I do.
But how do I do that?Seduction is easy enough, I could use her body to show her how much she wants to be mine, but it wouldn’t be enough if it’s just physical. She needs more, and I’m not sure how to give it to her, but I’ll work on it for as long as it takes.
I try not to let my mind wander too far when Bel informs me that since we can’t check into our hotel for a little while, we will park somewhere called a strip. A strip of what, I do not know. She tells me that it’s slang for the most populated part of the city.
As we turn into thestripfull of flashing lights, honks, and people walking along every spare stretch of asphalt, I fail to see the magic of this place. It looks like maybe once it was a grand place full of adventure, but it’s been allowed to fall into disrepair.
