“I— no, I—”
“You’re cold,” he remarks suddenly, “You can argue with me about leaving you alone later.Go inside and get warm.”
I’d like nothing more than to stand here on this street and tell him that he can’t fucking tell me what to do, but I am, in fact, freezing my toes off, and if I look at him any longer, I’m going to go insane.He’s so hot it’s blasphemous. The fucker.
“Fine,” I mutter eventually, storming away.
“See you soon,” he yells to me in a downright cheery voice as I leave him behind.
* * *
As I walk around the corner toward my apartment, I see the door ajar.Shit, I thought I closed it behind me.Voices waft out into the hall.
“There’s no one here.”
“They radioed in that this is where they were going.”Radioed?? The police are in my apartment with the remnants of Caspian’s meal.
“Hello?” I announce my arrival, fighting to keep my voice as calm as possible, “Can I help you, officers?”
“Are you Belissenda Hart?” one of the four asks me.
“Yeah. What’s going on?”
“Well, Miss Hart,” my name doesn’t sound the same off his tongue as it did Caspian’s. Where did that thought come from?“After your 911 call, we received several reports from this building. Strange sounds, screams, gunshots, and now we’re missing three officers who were coming to investigate.
These officers are already in my home, and if I just kick them out, I’m going to look so guilty. But what am I supposed to do? Give them free rein to poke around and hope Caspian’s magic was enough to hide all the evidence?
“Oh.”How did I already forget that I called the police?“Well, my intruder turned out to just be a T.V. show I left on. Uhhhh… Criminal Minds reboot, you know how it goes.” I try to laugh, but it sounds false even to my own ears.
“And you haven’t heard from or seen any officers? They never came to check in on you?” another questions me, genuine bafflement coloring his features.
“No, sir.”Yeah, lay the honorific’s on thick. They eat that shit up.“But, I mean… you’re already he-here, so you’re welcome to look around.” And then the lightbulb goes off, “Actually, I think I may have an explanation for all the, uhhh, screams and strange noises.”
I explain that I have a home office for my work before asking them to follow me so I can show them. If they’re all near me, they’re nowhere near the freezer and its horrific contents. They give me a once over, and one of them gives me a quick pat down, checking for weapons. I try to keep my breathing calm as his hands graze my body. Fortunately for me, he uses a professional, if somewhat embarrassed, touch. I’m thankful that he’s as uncomfortable with this as I am.
This is going to be humiliating,I think to myself as we wander toward my office. I open the door and hope that maybe they’ll overlook the photos and just see the equipment in the middle of the room. At this point, even if they look at the pictures, I’ll get over it. Better this than exploring the rest of my apartment. The blood might be gone, butIstill see it on every inch of the place.
The youngest of the bunch looks around in wonder, “Oh! Are you a singer?!” I think to myself that if they were subjected to my singing, they would arrest me on the spot.
Trying to smother my laughter, I answer, “No. I narrate audiobooks, and sometimes that requires props.” Gesturing around the room to my assorted goodies, I add, “and those props sometimes make interesting sounds.”
A loud, breathy moan wrenches the air, and everyone jumps. “Oh fuck, that’s so good.” Loud, wet slaps punctuate each word, “Please don’t stop. P-please, fuck- please don’t stop,” followed by a series of cries and masculine groans getting louder. I scramble to hit the pause button on the playback before they have to hear me fake a screaming climax.
The one who pushed the playback button looks properly chagrined, and an uncomfortable silence settles over us. I am mortified that four grown-ass men are standing here, having just listened to me pretend to be in the throes of passion.
They look like they’re searching the room, either avoiding eye contact or wondering which of these objects I had to utilize to mimic skin meeting skin. They seem more embarrassed than I am until the seemingly oldest one howls out his laughter, momentarily forgetting the reason they’re here.
I clear my throat and explain, “There’s only so much that can be done to block the noises sometimes. I’m sure this isn’t the first time my neighbors have wondered if I was being murdered in here.” I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks, and I swear to myself that when Caspian comes back, I’m going to stab him just for making me embarrass myself this way. It won’t hurt him, apparently, but it’ll sure make me feel better.
With the tension seemingly cleared, one officer who seems close to my age gives me a slow once over that makes my skin crawl. “I’m sure it’s all just a misunderstanding, miss. Thanks for the show,” he says.Smarmy asshole.
The walk back to my front door is sprinkled with laughter. Whilst exiting into the hall, one of the officers says, “We appreciate your cooperation ma’am, and we’ll, uh, let you get back to work.” And this time, even I can’t help but giggle along.
Closing the door behind them, I take the first deep breath I’ve managed all night, breathing out a little “Fuck”.
I don’t really want to brave going into the kitchen, but Idowant to continue the drinking I started earlier. Deciding it’s worth it, I slowly make my way toward the fridge, pretending the freezer does not exist at all and quickly grab my prize. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice my kitchen knives and decide, if nothing else, it’ll give me a sense of security to have one with me.
There’s no chance of getting any sleep tonight, no matter how much I go swimming in this bottle, so I may as well get caught up on some T.V.And where is my phone?After turning on something just for background noise, I hunt for my elusive phone, remembering it’s probably still in my bedroom from earlier.
