Swiping flyaways off my face, I suck in several soul-cleansing breaths. Focus. That’s what I need.
He’d been so normal. He’d been the same Nash I’ve always known. How could he know how I feel about him and be completely unaffected?
How could he say nothing about it?
Smiling wide as another delivery truck pulls up, I do my best to push Nash Donovan out of my mind. I have a job to do, and it has nothing to do with obsessing over a man who couldn’t care less about me.
My temples ache, and stale sweat sticks to my skin. Three hours of directing delivery people in this humidity nearly had me fainting in the yard. It seemed to be endless as they hauled in tables, chairs, couches, and decor: everything but the damn beds.
It was an uphill battle transferring between departments, with each taking a turn to provide no help, before a manager confirmed Thursday as the soonest possible date. There were delays with the suppliers,blah, blah, blah. The reason didn’t matter. Our first guests are checking in next Friday, and I need to have a place for them to sleep—end of story.
River has become my best friend, and the last thing I want to do is let her or her newly minted husband down. They vouchedfor me to Tate. In truth, I’m not sure he cared who his brother hired as long as it wasn’t one more thing for him to think about.
Grumbling sounds fill the air as I rub my stomach, shuffling toward the kitchen. Breakfast and coffee never happened this morning. Forget food, I need that boost of energy if I’m going to get any work done tonight.
Turning the corner into the massive kitchen area, the sweet aroma of food and dark roast coffee wafts up my nostrils. My stomach growls again, the sound so loud that whoever is in the kitchen must have heard it. The Garrisons insisted that as long as the ranch folks cleaned up after themselves, they had free rein to use the kitchen at their leisure.
For the second time today, I’m anchored in place. Nash moves through the kitchen as if he lives here, cooking steaks on the stove before pouring a large mug of coffee. The scent of the herbs assaults me, and I want nothing more than to shovel his food into my mouth.
“Thought you might need this,” he says without even looking up.
“No.” The word blurts out of my mouth despite it watering in anticipation of that tender meat and the bitter bite of caffeine. The gesture, though kind, is making my head spin, and I don’t know what to do about it. Not when he knows and hasn’t said a word. “I’m fine,” I lie.
The words had come out squeaky and uneven, but I don’t leave myself time to obsess over them. Spinning on my heel, I’m ready to bolt to the room that was claimed as mine when Nash’s voice makes me stop in my tracks.
“It’s fine, yah know. I’m not gonna treat you any differently because of what you told me.” Tenderness coats his words, that big-brother tone wrapping each one in a protective blanket.
Again, my eyes press shut, tears burning and threatening to break free.
If only he understood that’s the problem.
In a perfect world or a rom-com, I would have confessed my love, and he’d have swept me off my feet. We’d live happily ever after, and for once, I’d have everything I wanted.
Reality isn’t a neatly wrapped package with a pristine bow, though.
I say nothing as I blink away my tears and wander toward my bedroom.
One day, I’ll get Nash Donovan out of my system. I have to. Because no matter what I do, he’s never going to want me.
Chapter 2
Nash
Each muscle quivers as I push against the soft ground beneath my palms. My lungs burn through every grunted exhale, but I keep pushing. Every power push-up rep threatens to leave me face-first in the mud. Curling up on that damn couch last night already put me at a disadvantage, leaving my body an achy mess this morning. This frame isn’t made for shit like that anymore.
By the time I’d found the energy to sit up just as dawn crept over the horizon, I felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to my limbs. Still, I knew I needed this. I needed the burn and the chance to clear my head.
Though maybe I wouldn’t have needed to punish my body at all if Betty hadn’t had on that tight top and those tiny cut-off shorts.Fuck, it took everything in me not to get hard taking in the curves of her lean muscle. Every droplet of sweat down her chin that fell between her breasts could have been water on my tongue.
Objectively, Betty has always been a beautiful girl. The entire Hughes family could be models if they ever left this damn county. But when I saw her yesterday and didn’t immediately cut off those wayward thoughts, my mind went haywire. They consumed me, fantasizing about all the filthy things I wanted to do to her.
It didn’t matter that I called her a kid in my head, though she’s in her thirties now. It doesn’t matter that I told myself she’s my buddy’s baby sister and I shouldn’t look at her that way. I wanted to act on her attraction. I have since September, when I ran into her at the ranch and she’d been clad in jeans that looked painted on, showcasing the round curve of her perfect ass.
It was the first time I saw her after her confession at River’s party. I didn’t know what to say to her that night. Not that it would have mattered. She’d been drunk out of her mind.
I blame myself for her baring her soul that night. Treating her like we were old friends while I held her close on the dance floor had been wrong.
Hours have passed while I lay awake staring at the ceiling, trying to understand how I didn’t know. How could I have missed the way she looked at me for years?
