After leaving my parents’ house, I came right back to the ranch. As I stalked back out to the stables, tacked up a horse, and then rode out to the outskirts of the Boulder property line, I had time to think. As creepy as it sounds, a part of me has always adored Betty’s company. When she was younger, it was in a brotherly or friend-type way.
Just the same, I enjoyed listening to how she viewed the world. She sees the world in these vibrant colors. Many of us miss them because we’re so caught up in our own lives that we never take a minute to appreciate them.
I haven’t had time to learn much about how her life has turned out as an adult. I was around less, and she worked as much as I did. Our encounters were random more often than not until she took over the Miller house, and I took over for my dad. It’s as if those pivotal moments in our lives brought us back together, and all I’ve done is fuck it up over and over again. Yet, she keeps giving me chances. We’re drawn to each other no matter how much I tried to talk myself out of it.
“Home?” she questions.
“Uh, yeah. I’ve owned this cabin since I graduated from college. It’s where I stay when I’m in town.” My palms lightly squeeze her biceps again before she turns to face me, my arms immediately looping around her waist.
Her arms remain limp at her sides, her chest arched back as if trying to put space between us. Space I don’t want.
“No. You always stay at the cabins on the ranch. Even when there’s nothing going on.” Her dark brows scrunch low as if searching for another explanation, only to meet my gaze again, her mouth moving awkwardly.
My heart thumps in my chest, hoping she can see everything I’m not saying written on my face. I stayed at the Miller house because she was there. It was the only way I could see her all the time, even when I was constantly pushing her away. It’s how I slept at night, knowing I was close to her, though we weren’t curled up in the same bed.
It’s funny, I thought her feelings for me were absurd. Betty spent twenty-three years of her life being obsessed with me. How? Then, in less than a week, the same happened to me, and I haven’t been able to put her out of my mind either.
I didn’t want to go there because I was sure I wasn’t what she wanted. Not really. Her childhood dreams were skewed and wrong because she didn’t know the man I’d become. Still, witnessing her moving on with someone else broke something inside me. I no longer cared what I thought she deserved as long as she still wanted me. I’d become that man if it meant I could hold her and listen to her laugh every day.
“Because of you,” I whisper.
“Nash,” she melts into my hold, her chin dropping to her chest.
Not allowing her to protest, I grab hold of her hand and lead her out back. The poles for the hammock had been in place when I bought the property, but there was no net. It seemed symbolic at the time, as if I was jumping on my own for the first time, and I was. Unlike my classmates, I didn’t get a job straight after graduation. I took the money I’d saved over the years, bought this place, and started building my consulting business.
Sitting in the new hammock I’d added a few years ago first, I carefully drag her down with me. She giggles, protesting before swinging her legs in, smoothing her dress, and lying next to me in a stiff plank. I leave my arm behind her head, stroking her shoulder as we stare up at a dark but cloudy sky. I’d hoped the stars would be out for her tonight, but I’m just glad she came here with me.
“You wanted to know about my life. It’s pretty simple, but here goes.” Clearing my throat, she shifts to her side so she can watch my face. I want so badly to kiss her, but those moments have gotten us nowhere so far. “After college, I stayed in Montana. I’d been dating Katherine for a few years at that point. She became my person, my home away from home. We were friends who worked well in a relationship. I’ve never told anyone but her and my best friend, Hunt, this, but I loved being away from Cole County. I knew I’d have to come back at some point because Pop would eventually turn over the distribution business to me, butuntil then, I wanted to live a life outside of small-town USA, so I stayed, built my company, married Katherine, and kept a low profile. Then I would come back here and see my family, and I realized home wasn’t always a place. It was the people. I missed my people.”
A long breath fills my lungs as I go silent for a moment. Yet Betty keeps her eyes on me, patiently waiting for me to continue. The heat of the night turns our skin sweaty, but I don’t care. Something about this moment seems so cathartic for us. For me.
“Anyway, Katherine and I were married for ten years. We worked non-stop on our respective companies and built that massive house that has never been a home. I liked it in Montana, so it didn’t matter. She wanted it, and I wanted the land to have my own ranch, but I never found the time to build it. We never had a family, and over time, we realized we should never have gotten married. It was okay that we were always meant to be friends, and so we got a divorce. I stayed, and she left.” Betty tenses beside me, but I don’t ask her why, assuming it’s just in response to my deadpan sob story.
As if reading an encyclopedia, I’d recounted the high points of my life. They aren’t necessarily the important things now, but a base I wanted her to know so she could understand me better in time.
“Did you want that?” she whispers.
“What?” I ask, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. There was no helping it. My lips needed the feel of her skin.
“A family.”
“Yes, but that doesn’t matter now.” She only nods, allowing me to continue. “So here I am, forty, going on forty-one. All I have is my consulting, my friends, and the distribution business. My life is pretty boring, but then you woke me up, so thank you.”
She nuzzles in closer, wrapping an arm across my middle. “My pleasure.”
Chapter 21
Betty
As children, there were no limitations to our dreams. We believed in magic, dragons, and ghosts. Over time, the pressures of becoming adults and contributing members of society snuff out those dreams. As we become workers, mothers, and fathers, we are often forced into roles that may not have been our first choice.
But here in this hammock, under the night sky, with Nash talking to me about his life and nothing at all, I can suspend every belief. His thumb never stops rubbing my bare shoulder, comforting me in a way I can’t express with words. It’s the most I’ve ever heard him talk. He’s always been able to hold a conversation or speak on a topic when needed, but just as often, he could sit in complete silence.
Thunder rumbles in the sky, the temperature dropping just enough to send a chill over my warm skin. “You cold?” he asks.
“A little,” I yawn, arching my back so my breasts press into his side.
A groan escapes him, his hips shifting as if trying to adjust himself. It would do me no good to let my gaze move down his body, so I focus on his face. “Come on, Andromeda. Bedtime.”
