Releasing her wrist, I put a foot of space between us. The longer her skin touches mine, the more likely I am to pull the same shit I have the last two times I kissed her. Then her wide eyes meet mine, and I can’t stand to be so far away from her.Fuck!Dropping my palms to the wall beside her head, I cage her in. Betty overwhelms my senses with the pump of her chest and the way her lips part before her tongue runs over them.
“I am going to ask you this question one time. You are going to be completely honest with me.”
Her warm breath fans over my face before she once again licks her lips, averting her gaze. Ever so slowly, she rotates her head back to center, and our eyes lock. Heat blazes in her stare, revealing everything to me without her words. The way she feels about me is alive in her soft brown eyes.
“Nash, you have to stop,” she pleads.
“Answer my question first.” She remains silent, pressing her back against the wall as if she can put more space between us. I only lean in closer, just enough so we’re no more than an inch apart. “Do you still have feelings for me? Any at all?”
“Please don’t make me answer that,” she whimpers. Such a pretty sound from those full lips.
“Answer it, Beatrice,” I demand, though I do my best to keep my voice soft. The caveman shit only ever comes out in the bedroom. But Betty brings this side out of me. Every part of me wants to claim her, but I tried to stay away. I tried to tell myself all the reasons this was a bad idea. The first being that she’s a sweet girl. She wants a sweet man like Ward. Right?
I’d convinced myself of that, but we kept getting drawn to each other, and she kept reminding me I didn’t know what she really wanted. So I spent some time thinking about it and concluded that I don’t care what else she wants. I’ll give it to her as long as she wants me too.
“Yes, Nash. You have lived in my heart and my head since I was a kid. I can’t shake you, and damn, I’ve been trying. I have been trying to move on from you for real this time. Ward…” She swallows loudly before continuing, “I found a man who’s good to me and I like him, but he’s not you. They never are, and that kills me because you’ve never truly given me the time of day, not even when I told you the truth. So, yes. I still have feelings for you, and I probably always will. Are you happy now?”
I lean in closer, wanting to kiss her so badly. I needed to hear her say the words. My muscles literally shake as I fightto restrain myself. My face hovers over hers, our lips almost brushing as I speak. “Then you can’t be with him.”
Shoving off the wall, I turn and walk away. It’s a dick move, but Gray still needs me, and I need to cool off before I fuck this up again.
Chapter 16
Betty
My heart hammers in my chest. What just happened?
With Nash, I don’t know whether to go left or right, up or down. He reels me in and casts me out to sea again when he sees fit, and my stupid heart falls for it every time.
I can’t catch my breath as I lean against the barn wall, my hand clutched to my chest.
“Betty?” Ward’s voice startles me, my feet leaping a solid foot off the ground as he comes into view. Irreversible sadness lives in his eyes, his jaw muscles flexing under the stubble as he draws closer to me. Tugging his cowboy hat off his head, he comes to a stop in front of me, rolling his lips before he speaks again. “Are you in love with him?”
“What?” I breathe, my eyes darting side to side as if that will hide my obvious reaction. “With who?” An unnecessary question when I know he means Nash.
His booted feet bring him closer, the scent of hay and dirt wafting up my nostrils. A smell I’ve grown used to spending somuch time here at the ranch. It’s become a comfort. I’d thought it was because of Ward, but now I’m not so sure. “Betty, I really like you. I do.” His fingers wrap around mine. “But if you don’t want this… if you want him… I’ll accept it.”
“There’s nothing going on between Nash and me.” My words release as a whine. A tenor that even I would usually wince at. “I promise you.” My fingers squeeze his, hoping my words are convincing enough, even though my heart is shouting what a liar I am.
I do really like Ward, too. We’ve had so much fun together, and he’s helped me separate myself from Nash, at least on a surface level.
There’s nothing between Nash and me but a few stolen moments and decades of my life pining after a man who decides when and how he wants me. I didn’t quite lie about that.
“I heard everything.” He releases my hand, taking a step away. Devastation draws at his features, his eyes turning glassy as if he actually might cry.
“Ward, I swear.” I step toward him, but he once again moves out of my reach.
“Betty, I wanna believe you. I wanna just go back twenty minutes to when we were so happy, and we were kissing like a pair of teenagers, but…”
“Ward, please.” I’ve never begged a man to want me. Not even Nash and I loathe that I am now. But part of me believes he might be the only way that I can let go of my childhood crush.
“You need to decide who and what you want. I won’t be with someone who doesn’t want me the way I want them. Once you know who you want, let me know.” Dejection coats his words as he turns on his heel, drops his hat on his head, and walks away.
For the second time in so many minutes, I’m stuck here, wondering what the hell just happened?
Nash gave me an ultimatum.
Then Ward broke up with me.
