My brother’s brow scrunches as if confused about River’s morning list.
But a tiny grin pulls at the corner of my mouth. It’s not that she’s trying to care for the farm. She’s done that every day. It’s that she made it ours.
Ours.
Mine and hers.
My eyes flutter shut again, but I can still feel Tate’s presence beside me. This time I can ignore it because I know my woman is still mine. No question.
He can stay only because he gave me the best gift. My heart will be here soon. She hasn’t abandoned me.
Chapter 23
River
Ibarelyslept.Thoughwenever let the dogs sleep with us, I’d carried Bronc and then Bull into the bedroom and put them both in bed with me.
I needed the warmth of their bodies. The softness of their coats to wrap around me, pretending it was Gray snoring instead of them. It was the only way I was going to sleep, and still I couldn’t.
Lying on my back, eyes trained on the ceiling, I lazily ran my fingers down their spines. The monotonous movement serving as no distraction from the movie on repeat in my mind. A loop of Gray slamming into that gate. Every sound, sight, and smell torturing me.
It wasn’t until my phone rang, with Tate’s name on the screen, that I finally bolted out of bed, knowing sleep wasn’t finding me anyhow.
It was three in the morning.
A witching hour of good or devastating news. The latter sure to send anyone into a bottomless pit of depression crippled by helplessness.
“He’s awake and asked for you,”Tate had whispered through the line.
It took everything in me to keep standing. Those beautiful words were everything I needed to hear. To someone outside of the medical field, this would sound like the greatest miracle, but my skepticism held me in place. Awake doesn’t mean complication-free. It doesn’t mean Gray will be who I find when I enter that room.
Traumatic brain injuries aren’t a simple,“Oh, the bone healed. It’s solid. With rehab, you’ll regain your strength and mobility.”It’s not always a linear line or even a clear path. Time is the only determinant of where the patient will land. It doesn’t matter that Gray asked for me. That small amount of progress could be washed away with the tiniest unnoticed bleed or swelling.
I’d told Tate I needed to take care of our animals here first,and then I would get over to the hospital. Unsure what was going to happen, I had my clinic schedule cleared for today. Though it’s been almost a day and a half since the injury, I need to be with him. To be available for anything he might need.
Tomorrow will be another story. I’ll be in the OR the entire day. I might be able to sneak away to see Gray for a few minutes here or there, but it’s likely I won’t get to him until the day is through.
Eating was the last thing I wanted to do. My stomach was churning, and I wasn’t confident I could keep anything down, but I also acknowledged that if I didn’t take care of myself, I couldn’t take care of him. Plus, if Gray is awake, he’ll question it, and making the patient mad will only raise his blood pressure, which could destroy his recovery. I won’t be responsible for that.
“Come on boys,” I flag Bronc and Bull behind me just after four thirty. Our normal time to venture outside to start chores.
That same nausea still curls in my stomach, but so far the coffee, toast, bacon,and eggs have stayed put. A small mercy I hope gives me enough energy to get through our grinding work quickly.
Gray’s hired hand—Beau, I think—said they’d be back by five, but I figured I’d get a head start. I still want to do my part even if we have help.
Manly grunts and barked orders drift through the air the closer I get to the barn, Old Man Wilber exiting seconds before Bull charges him.
Wilber immediately scratches behind his ears before the dog abandons him for Patches. That damn dog is a menace, but Wilber goes nowhere without his companion.
“What are you doing here?” I squawk, peering around his shoulder, noticing there are at least two dozen guys moving through the barn and distant field behind him. Each one carrying out the tasks Gray and I often do on our own each morning.
“Helping.”
“Gray already hired—”
Hocking a loogie, Wilber spits at the ground, his usual grimace deepening. “Hush, girl. You need to be at the hospital with your man not out here shoveling horse shit. Now git.”
“Wilber, come on. You have no business being out here.”
