And with a few more thrusts, he cries out my name as I come apart with him. My walls pulse and squeeze around him as he fills me with his release. We don’t move. He holds me to him as he braces himself against the counter. I don’t speak. I can’t speak. There are no words. I’m ruined. No matter what happens between us, there will never be another man for me. And that thought is absolutely terrifying.
Chapter 30
Hayden
“How was your date?”
Glancing behind me, I find Sierra practically skipping into the barn. I’m just finishing up with chores, but I can’t help but smile back as she grins at me like the Cheshire Cat. I put away my toolbox before turning around and folding my arms across my chest.
“Date?” I play dumb.
“Yeah, with Miranda.”
I shake my head. We both knew it was a setup. And not even a subtle one. But as I recall the way it felt to wake up to Miranda sleeping with her naked body pressed against mine, I can’t find it in me to be upset about it. The only bad thing about our first time together was not falling asleep with her in my arms, and we were given the chance to correct that. No matter what else happens, we’ll always have that.
“That was not a date, despite your best efforts,” I lie. “She came over to see you, as well. You should probably apologize to her.”
Her face falls, and I feel my own pang of guilt. I know she was only trying to help, but it doesn’t make it any less wrong to meddle in other people’s lives.
“Don’t worry, she wasn’t upset,” I say after a short silence. “But that was still kind of shitty to do. I know you didn’t tell me about any plans. And if I had to guess, you didn’t have any before I invited Miranda to join us for dinner.”
Sierra shrugs her shoulders. “I can see the way you two look at each other. Just figured you wouldn’t complain about hanging out without having me in the way.”
“Hey,” I say, practically interrupting her. “First of all, you’re never in the way. And second, I don’t need help in the dating department. Now, let’s go in and figure out dinner.”
She follows me inside, and I wash my hands at the kitchen sink, trying my best not to think about the things Miranda and I did in this kitchen less than twenty-four hours ago. Miranda and I didn’t talk about our future at all, so I have no idea where last night left us. I didn’t want to push and ruin the best night I’ve had in—hell, maybe ever.
“Well? You never said how it went,” Sierra pushes.
“Dinner was great. We had fun. And that’s all you get.”
She heaves a sigh but lets it go when I don’t budge. “Can we have boxed mac and cheese? My mom used to make it sometimes…”
Once again, my heart hurts for the girl in front of me. She’s adjusted extremely well, considering. So well, I sometimes forget what she must be going through. To lose a mother at that age is probably one of the worst things that could happen to a person. Some kids would act out, which would be understandable, but not Sierra. She’s probably the easiest kid I’ve ever been around. I remind myself to cut her some slack.
“Of course. And I meant what I said. You’re never in the way. I know it probably doesn’t seem like it because of the way things happened, but I’m glad you’re here. And you can always talk to me. I understand what it’s like, losing a mom.”
Her eyes shimmer, but she quickly blinks away the emotion. It’s probably not good for her to hold her feelings in, but I’m no therapist. Also, I’m not one to talk when it comes to expressing feelings. I’ve had a thing for Miranda Wells for years, and I kept it to myself for all this time.
“Thanks. And I know,” she says softly. “Between when Mom died and when they found you, I got pretty good at figuring out if I was wanted or just tolerated. So, thanks. And I’m sorry if I upset you yesterday. I was just trying to help.”
Goddammit. Talk about a knife through the heart. I immediately feel like shit for being stern with her. She was onlydoing what she thought was right. Instead of responding, I head to the pantry for the disgusting boxed mac and cheese she requested. I only keep it for emergencies, but if that’s what my niece wants, that’s what she’ll get.
I force all thoughts of Miranda out of my head as I cook dinner and focus on Sierra. I may have finally found what I need in Miranda, but this girl needs me to put her first. So, no matter what else happens, I will continue to take her to Melanie for lessons. If I have to travel for events or further training, I’ll figure that out too. She may be my only chance at being anything close to a father, and no matter what, I’ll do the best I can. She deserves it, and I know it’s what Lisa and her mother would have wanted.
Chapter 31
Miranda
Ihaven’t stopped thinking about Hayden. Also, I haven’t really talked to him, and it’s been a few days. I had an interview in Carruthersville that kept me away during Sierra’s lesson earlier in the week, and I’m sure Hayden assumes I’m avoiding him…which I guess isn’t completely false. I just don’t know what to say.
I can tell by the way the sun shines into my kitchen that it’s late afternoon and Sierra’s lesson is likely coming up. I don’t even need to look at the clock, so I do what any responsible woman would do. I pull out a bottle of my favorite wine, fill my glass to the top, and head outside to face the man responsible for the best sex of my life.
As predicted, I step onto my patio in time to see Sierra head out with my mom, and there’s no stopping the smile that spreads across my face. It’s good that she found something to make her happy despite her tragic loss. And it’s good that she ended up with Hayden, who actually gives a shit, and not somegroup situation or a disinterested family just there to provide food and shelter.
My smile grows when Hayden’s silhouette appears at the other end of the property as he makes his way over. I wasn’t sure if he would still come by, considering we haven’t talked about anything that happened or what happens next. But I’ve missed him.
“Hey,” Hayden greets from the edge of my patio. “Mind if I join you?”
