Lily helped Sheila carry out items from the kitchen, and had the brightest smile on her face as she did. She followed behind Sheila, first carrying a basket of dinner rolls and then condiments. Once they brought everything out, Lily took the seat next to her dad, but got pulled into a conversation by Mallory’s dad. The feeling of warmth she felt at the sight was completely unnecessary, and Christian’s hand casually resting on her thigh wasn’t helping.
“Please tell me this isn’t a one-time thing,” Sheila said as she stood to clear the empty plates. “Lily, honey, would you like to help me bring out dessert?”
Before Sheila finished speaking, the girl was out of her chair. Once again, Mallory couldn’t keep herself from smiling at the scene in front of her.
“She likes it here,” Christian said just loud enough for Mallory to hear. “Thank you.”
Mallory turned in her seat to look at him. “I’m just glad this is going so well. I was freaking out on the inside.”
Christian chuckled. “It wasn’t just on the inside. I could tell you were panicking. I’m just glad you felt better once Michael and Alyssa showed up. Thank you for inviting us. I know thisisn’t easy for you. Do you mind if I come inside to talk once we get back?”
She swallowed. Needing to talk was rarely a good thing. At no time did anything good come from the phrase “we need to talk” and it took everything for Mallory to keep from spiraling into a sea of panic.
“It’s nothing bad, don’t worry. I just don’t think we got to say all we needed to last night. Tonight, we don’t have to rush,” Christian explained. He was getting almost too good at reading her.
She nodded, gave his hand a squeeze, then moved her attention back to the rest of the table. Lily was back at the table and Alyssa was now holding her attention. She couldn’t quite make out what was being said, but Lily was laughing and nodding her head in agreement.
“She seems to be having fun,” Alyssa whispered to Christian as she nodded in Lily’s direction once Lily had turned her attention elsewhere.
“Yeah. She does. She needs to know she has people. And this group surrounding the table is exactly the people she needs.”
It was hard for Mallory to keep from getting overwhelmed by regret. These were the best people to be surrounded by, and she had taken them for granted. So many years wasted feeling miserable and alone, when the people at this table were right here the entire time, just waiting for her to return.
It wasn’t long before they were back in the entryway saying their goodbyes. Lily’s face was lit up with a smile as she hugged everyone and told them what a good time she’d had. Mallory couldn’t help but wear a matching smile on her own face.
“Let Christian know I would love to watch her if you’re ever busy, need a break, or the two of you want a date night,” Sheila said quietly as she hugged Mallory goodbye. “Thank you somuch for coming over and bringing them along. My heart is so full. We’ve never had this opportunity with you.”
All Mallory could do was nod in response. Sheila’s voice cracked before she could finish speaking, and Mallory had to swallow down the lump in her throat. So many years had been lost. Years of therapy told Mallory that guilt and regret weren’t useful emotions to dwell on, but damn if it didn’t hurt.
“Thank you,” she breathed.
“You ready?” Christian asked as he placed his hand at the small of her back.
His touch was warm and gentle, and she leaned into it before nodding in response. They walked to the car in silence. Mallory found herself once again fighting back tears, even though she wasn’t sure why. She was feeling overwhelmed with emotion and wasn’t sure how to handle her feelings. Christian reached over and squeezed her thigh. His firm touch helped her rein in her emotions. She would deal with her feelings once she was home. That’s what she told herself anyway.
Chapter 26
CHRISTIAN
Chris sat on the couch next to Mallory. Lily had begged and pleaded to stay the night until he gave in. His plan had been to talk to Mallory as soon as they got back, but that didn’t happen. Instead, Mallory made coffee and they watched a movie with Lily after which she declared she was tired and begged to just sleep over. Chris was no idiot. He knew she was trying to get him to stay over as well.
“So, can we talk?” he asked.
He had just sat down from checking on Lily, who was sound asleep and snoring loudly with one leg hanging off the bed. Her bed. The spare bedroom had basically been turned into hers without him realizing it. The comforter on the bed could only have been something she picked out. It was black with neon pink skulls all over it. There was even a shaggy black rug on the floor. The purple lava lamp was also her doing.
“Yeah, we probably should,” Mallory agreed.
Christian could only lay everything out. Holding back hadn’t worked out well for either of them. He’d told his daughter they just had a disagreement and were fine now, but that wasn’t anywhere near the truth. They were on speaking terms, but things were not okay. They were far from okay.
“What can I do to fix this?” he asked.
Mallory let out a sigh. “I wish I knew. I know we said the things and went to dinner, but everything still feels off and I hate it.”
He couldn’t agree more. “When I left you—the way that I did—" He paused to gather his thoughts. “Is there any coming back from that? There are no excuses. I was angry and hurt when you said we were just two people who have sex, but I took it out on you in the worst possible way. I am so sorry.”
She surprised him by taking his hand and placing it in her lap, tracing designs on his palm with her finger as she thought. The sensation almost tickled, but it was oddly soothing. He relaxed enough to sit back as he waited for her response.
“Why?” she breathed.
