“Well, thank you. You didn’t have to do that,” Christian said.
Mallory took note of how tired he looked. It wasn’t long after his shift would have ended, but he looked as if he’d been up for days. His hair, slightly longer on top, was rumpled instead of the carefully styled waves she had become used to seeing.
“Do you need to get back to your mom?”
“She’s in surgery. Should be another hour or so, but I guess we should get back in case something goes wrong, and the doctors come looking for me.”
Christian stood and took the hand she offered as they made their way to the other side of the hospital. They rode the elevator in silence before Christian led the way to a small room. The words “family room” caused her to stop in her tracks. She didn’t have many memories surrounding her mother’s death, but the family room would forever be engraved into her mind. She’d stared at that sign while her dad held her brother with one arm and held her hand with the other while the doctor explained things using words she didn’t understand before ushering them into the room.
“Are you alright?”
Mallory looked away from the sign to find Christian watching her closely. She wasn’t alright, but she couldn’t fall apart. Not when the whole reason she was there was to support Christian. Even though she already knew that at some point she would have to face the things she’d been avoiding, it didn’t make it any easier. She took a slow breath.
“Don’t worry about me. Are you okay?”
Christian brought them to the far corner of the small room. Wooden chairs with blue vinyl cushions were situated in groups spaced throughout the room. Mallory knew all too well that the spacing was for the illusion of privacy. No one wanted to be surrounded by strangers when receiving the worst news of their life.
“I’m doing okay. Are you ready to answer my question, now?” he asked as they got situated on one of the larger bench style seats.
“Yes. I’m doing alright. This room just reminded me of when my mom died. I wasn’t expecting the memory to hit me the wayit did. I don’t think of that day very often. But your mom is going to be okay,” she quickly added.
She looked up to find Christian watching her with a small smile. She always had been good at putting her foot in her mouth. What was she thinking, telling him this room was associated with death. She silently berated herself and tried to think of a way to change the subject.
“Don’t beat yourself up,” Christian said, as if reading her mind. “I expected this to be hard for you. That’s why I said you don’t have to do this. To be here with me.”
Mallory looked over at the man sitting next to her. He was thinking of her when he clearly had more important things to worry about. She had never had that before. It was time she got over herself and actually let him past some of her walls.
“My mom was the best. She was the room mom in school. She volunteered at every opportunity and made sure all the special class activities went on without a hitch. She told me a bedtime story every night and woke me up saying something inspirational,” Mallory said with a wistful smile.
“And that’s where you get your affirmations and manifestations.” Christian leaned over to bump her shoulder with his.
“I never really thought about it until now, but yeah. I guess I did get that from her. One night she was gone, and everything changed. My dad’s a cop and not very good at warm and fuzzy. Fast forward thirty something years. I finally saw a therapist because my life was falling apart. She suggested, among other things, that I try meditation and reciting some affirmations. I was hooked. Next came manifestations and a general path of mindfulness,” she continued. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make this about me.”
“What happened to your mom? If you don’t mind me asking,” Christian asked, completely ignoring her apology.
“Pulmonary embolism. She was young and healthy. This was before doctors associated PE with certain birth control. By the time they caught it, it was too late. I remember standing in front of this room with my dad as the doctor explained that she was extremely sick, and they’d be back soon with an update.”
Christian squeezed her hand. She was surprised by the words that spilled out. She usually clammed up anytime someone asked her about her mom. As the queen of avoidance, she was an expert at saying just enough before changing the subject. Christian appeared to be fighting an internal battle as his eyes searched her face, and she began to worry she’d said too much.
“Thanks for being here. You have any of those affirmations handy? She’s been in there a while and … well … I’m struggling,” Christian admitted.
Mallory’s chest felt tight as she imagined what he was going through. “Okay. Close your eyes. I’ll say one of my favorites, and you can join me if you want.”
Christian took a deep breath and licked his lips before he closed his eyes, giving her a small nod. She reached for his hand and took a few cleansing breaths of her own. It was one thing to say her affirmations when she was alone, and something totally different to say them aloud in public. Christian was sure to think she was crazy, but she forced herself out of her comfort zone. It was worth it if it helped him.
“I will get through today,” she said softly. “I open my soul to peace.”
She squeezed his hand and paused before repeating the phrase. Before she repeated it for a third time, she felt Christian squeeze her hand. His voice was so soft she nearly missed it. He recited the words along with her three more times. On the last one, his voice cracked with emotion. She opened her eyes to find his eyes, now a mixture of dark green and blue, glistening with moisture as he watched her carefully.
“Thank you,” he breathed before closing his eyes and leaning closer to her.
She repositioned herself so he could rest his head on her shoulder. He must have been exhausted. Warmth spread throughout her chest as he relaxed against her, his breathing growing more even. She ran her fingers through his already mussed hair, and before long she could tell he was asleep.
CHRISTIAN
Chris opened his eyes when he felt Mallory giving his shoulder a gentle shake. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep, but his neck was stiff. He stretched his neck from side to side before coming fully awake to notice the doctor sitting in a chair across from them. She still had on her surgical cap and her mask was hanging down by her chest. She smiled warmly once he finally met her eye.
“Mr. Ramirez, I’m Dr. Smith. I’m part of the surgical team working on your mom. They are finishing up, but everything went well. Because of where the breaks were, we decided to do a replacement. She’ll have a better outcome than if we were to have to go back in and do it. The recovery will be slower, but I’m confident she’ll return to her previous level of mobility with proper care and physical therapy.”
