Her hand slipped into mine, and she led me to my bedroom, pushing the doors closed behind us. My stomach twisted into a tight knot as I wondered if she was about to tell me the new set of rules. Hands off, no relationship, I was only here as a courtesy.
“So,” I said as I shoved my trembling hands into my pockets, “what’s up?”
Nattie twisted around to face me, leaning forward to cup my cheeks in her hands and kiss me. Warmth shot through me at the surprise lip lock.
I wanted to melt into her touch, to wrap my arms around her and hold her close—but panic locked up my muscles. When we pulled apart, I sucked in a breath, my brows drawing together.
“Wait… can we do that? It feels like we shouldn’t be kissing.”
Her nose wrinkled, and disappointment flickered across her face. “Why not?”
Her lips parted as her expression shifted. “Oh. You no longer have feelings for me.”
“No!” I said, eyes going wide as I gently grabbed her arms. “No, that’s not it at all.”
“Then what is it?”
I hesitated. The words felt stupid the second they formed. “You’re the queen.”
“Queen Regent, and what has that to do with anything?”
I licked my lips, my eyes narrowing a little. “I feel like someone’s going to arrest me for kissing the queen…Queen Regent. Whatever. It feels illegal.”
“It isn’t,” she answered. “That’s rather…ridiculous.”
I straightened a little as the realization set in. “Oh. Okay, uhh, well…”
I pressed my lips against hers in another kiss, and she wrapped her arms around my neck as we gave in to the moment.
“Wait, wait,” I said as I pulled back, swallowing hard.
“What is it now?”
“Uhh, I don’t know how to say this but…”
Her eyes searched mine, waiting for me to spit out my latest objection.
“I don’t want to just be…some guy for you, you know? I feel this connection between us, but…can this actually go anywhere?”
I held my breath, waiting for the answer. I expected to hear that we could never officially be a couple, that anything between us would be kept to back corridors and clandestine meetings. I couldn’t accept that. Could I?
A part of my heart wanted to accept anything Nattie would give me, but the other part knew I’d always want more. I didn’t think I was ready to say goodbye to her yet.
Nattie cocked her head, her features pinching with confusion. “Why couldn’t it?”
The question surprised me. Was she serious? Things didn’t usually work out for me. I was still reeling from the idea that this woman was into me.
I huffed out a chuckle, confusion twisting my expression. “Well…you’re Queen Regent–still not sure what that even is, but…there has to be some sort of rules about who you can…cavort with.”
“Cavort with? What are you saying?” She giggled.
“I don’t have the cleanest past. All that stuff I said to your sister is true. That whole revenge thing with my dad brought a lot of bad press, and I’m sure that sort of scandal would probably be frowned upon by your family.”
I hated having to tell her all of this. I didn’t want her to look at me in a different light, but it was too late for that. Soon enough, she’d see all the dirty details splashed in front of her by that beefy bodyguard and her sister.
I didn’t want to see the disappointed look on her face when she came with the background check and asked me to explain myself. Instead, I’d just get letdown now.
She stared up at me, but I couldn’t read the expression on her face. Was it upset? Sadness? Pity?
