Bash
Spending time away from Fiona was becoming increasingly more difficult. As much as I liked her apartment, liked her personality all over the place, I hated the lack of consistency, the feeling of impermanence. Sometimes, it felt like she was always on the verge of becoming just out of reach. If I didn’t hold her tightly in my grasp, I would lose the best thing that had ever happened to me.
The most important rooms—the kitchen and master bed and bathroom—were almost done. We just needed to finish picking out decorations and shit. I wanted Fee to help with all of thatbecause I wanted it to be her house, too. Sooner rather than later.
Life was better than I could have imagined. I had never really thought too hard about being in a serious relationship, had never felt the need to claim a woman as mine, making sure everyone knew to back off.
From the first moment I met Fee, I wanted her all to myself. It only proved to me even more that she was the one for me. I didn’t want a Brother to look at her twice. She was off-limits, even as a passing thought in their thick heads.
The Brothers wanted to give me shit, call me whipped, but most didn’t understand. They didn’t know what it felt like, what it meant to have someone all to yourself. To give yourself to someone, trust them to take care of the parts you were showing just to them. I was proud to call Fiona mine, and I wanted anyone and everyone around me to know I was hers.
I was so far gone for the girl that it bordered on obsession, and I didn’t think she even realized. Fiona and I hadn’t really talked about the future or next steps. I knew what I wanted from her, but I didn’t want to scare her away.
Fee had to be tough, and was used to taking care of herself. I was worried that if I told Fiona just how much I wanted from her, how much I wanted to take care of her, it would upset her. The truth was, I wanted to tie her to me for the rest of our lives. So, instead, I was trying to get her used to staying at the house more than her apartment.
I made sure to stock the kitchen with the foods and drinks Fee preferred. Grocery shopping together was an interesting experience. Fiona checked every price and every coupon, always choosing the store brands over more well-known companies. She spent time looking longingly at items she didn’t put in the cart.
Fee liked to cook, and my kitchen was bigger than hers. I used that to my advantage, too, buying every top-of-the-line cooking and baking equipment available at the store. It was worth it to see how big Fiona’s eyes got when she saw the large set of Le Creuset bakeware Seph suggested I invest in.
Seeing Fiona at the clubhouse, watching her interactions with the Brothers, Old Ladies, and club girls was fascinating. Fee had a quiet way about her; a shadow dweller who focused her energy on shining light on others. Already, she had managed to pull herself and those around her out of their shells. She had developed strong bonds with so many of my people, treating everyone the same, managing to find something in common with each person.
At first, I was hesitant about her burgeoning relationships with Roxie and Star. Never in my adult life had I been more grateful for the decision not to sample any of the club girls, not wanting to shit where you eat and all that. Hearing Fiona ask the women if we had slept together ate at me.
Panicked at first, even knowing that I hadn’t touched either woman, I hated the idea that Fee had to worry about it. Meanwhile, I got to revel in the knowledge that I was her first and only. I never wanted Fiona to feel insecure or wonder about other women. I only had eyes for her. Anyone who came before her was nothing but a distant memory. They could never hold a light to my girl.
My respect for Roxie and Star grew tenfold at their adamant responses that nothing had happened between us. I knew other people, like Crow or Trish, would have jumped at the opportunity to stir shit up, unhappy with Fee’s high standing in the club after such a short time. I was grateful they had embraced Fiona, helping her learn more about our world rather than scaring her away.
Fiona was everything I could have wanted in an Old Lady, and everything I didn’t know I needed in one. She had no idea the effects she had on everyone, making not just my life but my family’s life better.
Last Sunday dinner, Fiona in attendance, was a great example. After most of the meal was finished, everyone around the table was spending more time talking than eating, so I decided it was a good time to broach the topic of what to do with my house on the clubhouse land.
“So, I’ve been thinking,” I said, clearing my voice and causing a hush to fall over the table.
“The farmhouse is almost finished, and I’m spending most of my time there anyway. Charlie, I was wondering if you want to move into the old house? You can pick and choose what furniture you want to keep in there, but I thought it might be a nice compromise. This way, you can have your own space, but you’ll be on MC property. You will be safe,” I said, looking around at everyone.
Fiona reached over and slid her hand into mine, giving it a squeeze as she smiled at me. Charlie looked surprised, and was checking my parents’ faces to gauge their reactions.
“Really? You would be okay with that? How much would it cost? I have some money saved up from the garage,” Charlie said, her words tumbling out fast.
“It’s already paid off. Just take over the utilities, and when you become a big fancy lawyer, you can buy me something pretty,” I said.
To my surprise, Charlie burst into tears before jumping out of her chair to come around and hug me. I stood up, opening my arms in time to catch her.
“Hey there, Little Bit, if you’re gonna cry, I’ll take back the offer,” I joked as she sobbed into my chest.
“Don’t you dare!” She gasped, giving me a small shove. Wiping at her face, Charlie went back to her seat before taking a sip of water, collecting herself.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable with my pesky emotions. It just means a lot to me, how much you all believe in me. I spoke to someone at the student bursar office at the university, and there are two prerequisite classes I need to finish before I qualify. They’re available for me to take during the spring semester. Assuming I pass the LSATS, I can then start applying to law schools for next fall,” she explained, her cheeks red and her eyes shiny with excitement.
“That’s great!” Fee was clearly excited to hear Charlie had already taken steps to go back to school.
“So it’s a done deal then. I’ll make sure I’m fully moved out by the time you start classes in the spring,” I said, and Charlie nodded. I looked over to where my parents were watching all of us indulgently, Guard giving me a nod of approval as he wrapped an arm around Ma to pull her in closer.
“There’s only one problem,” Charlie stated, chewing on her lip like she used to do as a kid when she was nervous.
“What problem?” I asked, frowning as I tried to think of any issues with the plan.
“Even though I’m only taking two classes in the spring, it’s going to interfere with my hours at the garage. Then, if I get into law school, I don’t know if I would be able to work on weekdays full stop,” she said, looking guilty.
