“Envy me?” I was shocked by the last bit.
“You were so calm and composed. Even tonight, you’ve been so kind and welcoming. You really listen, and all your answers are genuine and helpful. You don’t make me feel stupid or treat me with kid gloves. It’s like you have it all figured out, and it just makes me feel even more useless.” I couldn’t help myself and burst out laughing.
“I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you. I just honestly have absolutely nothing figured out. I live a very small life. It’s small because I don’t like the unknown, I don’t like change, and I don’t like insecurity. I’ve crafted my entire world to accommodate my neurosis. I work, I pay my bills, and every once in a while, Iget wild and order pizza with extra toppings. My life is boring, mundane. I’m not changing the world or saving lives. I’m just controlling mine,” I blurted out, surprised at how much I revealed with that statement.
I knew I was damaged, psychologically and emotionally, but that was even more motivation to keep to myself. I looked up, embarrassed, unsure what to expect from Charlie, but was surprised when she started laughing.
“Oh! That makes me feel so much better. Please, can we be friends? I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. Two idiots have to be better than one, right?” At that, I laughed too. I liked Charlie. I liked her honesty and openness. I liked that she wasn’t as jaded as I was.
“Yes, I think we can be friends. Just don’t go thinking I have any answers on how to be an adult. Well, I can balance your checkbook and help with math homework.”
“Promise. Here’s to two friends figuring it out. Cheers?” she said, holding out a garlic knot. I picked one up and tapped it against hers in a mock toast before eating the whole thing in one bite.
Bash
Once home, my sister safe in the guest room, sleep eluded me. I was completely at odds with what to do about Charlie. I had the prospect drop her at my house on the MC compound. She hated staying at the clubhouse and spent more nights at my place than in her own room in the house we grew up in.
My parents, Dalton and Cecilia Williams, were forces to be reckoned with. I knew Charlie had been itching to get out of the house, but none of us were comfortable with her getting an apartment on her own.
Dad—known as Guardto everyone but my mother—was one of the founders of the club. He met my mom, Cece, when she was working as a nurse at the local hospital. She stitched him up after a fight one night, and he swore it was love at first sight. For him, at least.
Mom wasn’t so easily swayed. My dad would purposely get injured for a chance to see her. Then, when she caught on, he asked her out every week until she finally agreed. They hadn’t left each other’s side since.
My dad never looked at another woman once he met my mom. They had the type of love that wars were fought over. If anything happened to my mom, there was no doubt in my mind that Dad would burn the world to the ground to find her. It made the recent decline in his health that much more heartbreaking. Growing up, my dad was an avid smoker. Mom tried to make him quit, banning it in the house and around us kids. Once Charlie was born, he pretty much stopped completely, wanting to set a good example for his baby girl.
The clubhouse was always filled with smoke, though, and the years of damage were already done. Dad was diagnosed with emphysema a few years earlier. Ma begged him to take it seriously, to slow down and create a non-smoking area in the clubhouse, but it took his lung collapsing for him to finally listen.
After a tenuous few days in the hospital, where he was bed-bound and forced to listen to Mom read him the riot act, he officially retired. Once he was strong enough, Reaper—my dad’s best friend and the club president—called all of the Brothers in for an emergency Church meeting.
Dad officially stepped down as VP of the club. We all assumed Crow, Reaper’s son, would take over. I was totally blindsided when Prez put me forward, and the Brothers unanimously voted me in as the new VP. I was honored. The club was my family in every way. As soon as I was old enough to understand theimportance of what my dad did for the club, I had made sure to listen and learn as much as I could from him.
He worked hard to make sure I understood all of the club dynamics, and now that I was thrust into the new role, I was eternally grateful for the knowledge he passed down. My first few months as VP felt like a crash course in running the club. It felt like everything was coming at me at once between Charlie, my dad, and my club responsibilities. Suddenly, on top of that, I was distracted with thoughts of Fiona at the most inopportune times.
What got me the most was how real she seemed. Nonjudgmental, kind, and insightful. At that point, I had built her up in my mind as some sort of mystical being, Charlie’s savior and soothsayer.
Instead of spending the rest of the night working up a good rage to confront my sister with, I couldn’t help but remember Fiona’s words. I didn’t want Charlie to be scared of me, but even more, I didn’t want her to think I wasn’t proud of her or didn’t believe in her.
When she finally stumbled downstairs on Saturday morning, I had coffee made and some toast set out for her at the kitchen table. Her expression was wary, and I couldn’t blame her. In the past, I would have already been going off on her, lecturing her and trying to ban her from leaving MC property. She opened her mouth, and I stopped her. I passed her a glass of water and some aspirin.
She took it with a dubious expression but remained silent. I sat down across from her with my coffee and then pushed the toast in her direction before clearing my throat.
“I think we need to change some things around here.” She looked up, her eyes becoming round with fear.
“Charlie, you’re my baby sister. I love you. You’re a pain in my ass, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I also want youto know I’m proud of you. I don’t think I’ve said it enough, or if at all. I can’t imagine what it’s been like to grow up as a girl in the club. You’re the club princess. All we’ve ever wanted to do is spoil and protect you, but that doesn’t mean that was how you experienced it. I know I’ve gotten out of hand, that I’ve been too hard on you. I just… I can’t imagine anything ever happening to you.”
I looked up to see tears in Charlie’s eyes, her expression filled with surprise. It gave me the motivation to continue, to discuss the elephant in the room.
“With everything going on with Dad, I may have gone overboard when it comes to you. He told me to watch over you, not smother you. I want you to feel comfortable coming to me, talking to me about stuff. So that’s on me. I need to focus on being your brother, not your warden. That being said, you were very lucky Fiona found you last night. I don’t know many people who would stick their neck out like that for a stranger. I get that you’re going through stuff, but you cannot put yourself at risk like that. Please, promise me you won’t pull a stunt like that again. I’ll talk to the prospects, have them take cages and hang back when you wanna go out, but you cannot just go AWOL like that. We would fall apart without you—all of us.” My heart was racing, and I felt both embarrassed and impressed with how much I had just said.
I guessed I had more to get off my chest than I realized. Before I had too much time to analyze that, Charlie was hopping out of her chair and running around the table. I stood up just in time to catch her as she face-planted into my chest like she used to as a kid and burst into tears. It broke my heart. I hated it when she cried. I wrapped my arms around her as I tried to comfort her.
“We’re all good, Little Bit, just try to keep yourself out of trouble. Can you do that?” She nodded against my chest, no doubt wiping snot all over my shirt.
Once she finally calmed down, we had breakfast together, and it was a subdued affair. She asked me about Fiona, and I filled her in on the woman's version of that night's events.
“Did you get her number?” she asked me. I shook my head, unwilling to admit the regret I felt at not doing that.
“How am I supposed to thank her? I need to call her or something. Can you get Keys to run her info? You must have her address from picking me up!”
