“I wish I could show you what happened in the garage, especially since he was in there for a while, but he moved the cameras in that area and the basement so he was out of range the entire time he was moving around. X and I checked the garage already, but didn’t see anything weird or out of order. The next time we have him on camera is as he’s leaving the clubhouse,” Keys told me.
He then switched over to the cameras surrounding the guard booth and entrance, and as Crow’s car drove out of the compound, Keys froze the video. In the back seat of the truck Crow was driving, the cameras could just make out what looked like a sleeping body, the sparkly jacket glinting in the window.
Seeing the car drive away, processing everything I saw, made things turn red. It were as if I blacked out, or disassociated, but soon, Bull and Guard were both restraining me as my chest heaved, broken furniture and damaged dry wall littering the ground and my fists.
Once I was calmed down, I vaguely heard Guard on the phone with Reaper, cluing him in on the situation and asking him to call the Brothers in for an emergency Church meeting. I don’t know how much time passed, but I stayed bent over Keys’ chair as I made him go back and track every movement Fiona and Crow made that morning. By the time the rest of the guys were back, there was a burning in my gut, and bloodlust running through my veins.
Why would Crow do this? Why would he hurt Fiona? Was this because of something I did, to get back at me?Crow and I didn’t have the best relationship, but it wasn’t like we were mortal enemies. I knew he was upset when Reaper named me VP instead of him.Is that what this is about?
Grabbing Keys’ laptop, I headed into the room where Church meetings were held. The guys were huddled into groups, shooting the shit or questioning what we all were up to, but they all stopped when I stepped into the room. I didn’t know if it was the laptop clenched in a death grip or the blood dripping from my knuckles.
Reaper looked shell-shocked, the both of us in disbelief over the situation we found ourselves in. The guys warily took their seats, everyone eyeing the person next to them to see if they had any idea what to expect.
“Did you find Trish?” Match asked.
“No. But two new people went missing who are much more important to this club.” Shouts and grunts rang out from the table, but Reaper and I were locked in a stare. He was nodding at me, indicating to go ahead and clue everyone in on what was happening.
“Fiona is missing. She was taken from the clubhouse by one of our Brothers.” Pulling up the footage from Keys’ laptop, the entire room went silent as they watched Crow yanking Fiona into his room, then dragging her disguised body into the garage.
“I saw a girl asleep in the back. I didn’t think it was Fiona, though. It was a blonde chick,” Danny said, looking worried.
“I’m sorry, Reaper. I know Crow is your son, but he hurt and kidnapped my Old Lady. That, I will not stand for. I want everyone out looking for Fiona and Crow. I want to know every movement that car made after it left the compound. I don’t care what you do when you find Crow, as long as we get Fiona back.” I was yelling at that point, my fists clenched. With a weary sigh, Reaper swiped a hand over his face.
“I understand where you’re coming from, Bash, and you’ve got a right to be angry right now. That being said, I have the final say, and I want both Fiona and Crow brought back here. Alive,” Reaper stated with finality before turning to Keys.
“Pull up the tracker on Crow’s car. Check the strip club, check any pussy he’s been getting lately. Leave no stone unturned. Stay in touch the whole time. Make sure we have X here just in case Fiona needs medical help. She is the priority. No one hurts our women. Brothers, get ready to ride out.” Reaper hit the table, then stood up and left.
As Reaper and Keys worked out the logistics of where everyone should go, I was too antsy to wait around. Since we already had a current location on the car Crow used, Match and I went to check there. Before leaving, Reaper stopped me.
“Focus on Fiona. I’ll deal with my son.” With that, he walked out, and the search for Fiona began in full force.
Atlas
Waking up and peeking an eye open, I grimaced as the sunlight hit my face. I regretted not closing the blinds before going to sleep, but I guessed I was too distracted. We’d had a Halloween party the night before. Nothing like the annual event the PA Charter held, but it was a fun excuse to see the club girls in slutty costumes. Or at least, it used to be. Wincing, my head throbbed, and my mouth was dry. I’d drank far too much, and took who knew which girl back to my bed.
Memories of the night were murky. But I didn’t mind. They no longer held the same excitement they used to. There was a time when that type of life was my dream. I spent my days working, partying, and enjoying the variety of women looking for a taste of the MC life. It was freeing. For once, I felt like I could finally let loose, knowing my Brothers had my back. Growing up felt like a practice in vigilance. I could never let my guard down, never close my eyes for too long.
It was Fiona and me against the world, and when I first left for the Army, it almost felt like I was missing a limb. I was so used to watching out for her, keeping her safe, that I didn’t know what to do those first few weeks. Even to myself, I was having difficulty articulating my feelings. I was homesick, which was confusing, since I had spent the majority of my life trying to get out of that place. But that life was familiar, it was the danger I knew. I wasn’t sure I had made the right decision leaving, and I was worried about Fee.
Then boot camp started, and I was too tired, too drained, to think about that missing feeling. For once, I felt like I had something just for me. All those years navigating the landminesof our homelife proved useful for once. Army life came naturally to me, and I loved being able to use those skills to help people, rather than just playing hide-and-seek with my drunk parents. It felt good to have a new purpose. The first few months, every time I sat down to write a letter, I was frozen, wracked with guilt.
What is Fee doing right now? While I am playing cards with my bunkies, what is she facing at home?I sent the letters to my parents, in some vain hope that maybe, they would do the right thing. The truth was, I couldn’t write Fiona’s name, couldn’t put words to paper to explain how I was feeling. And before I knew it, years had passed.
Feeling movement beside me, I shook the thoughts out of my head. The girl in bed next to me started waking up, and I sighed, not interested in themorning afterconversation. Climbing out of bed, I headed for the bathroom. Turning the shower on, I let the water warm up before heading back into the room. The girl blinked up at me. Brandi? Becca? I couldn’t even remember.
“Got shit to do. See yourself out,” I said, pretending I didn’t notice the disappointment crossing her face. Grabbing some clean clothes, I was grateful to see her quickly dressing, and finally gave a sigh of relief when the door closed behind her. Climbing into the shower, I let the hot water run over me.
When I had first joined the Brotherhood, it felt like having a family again. Mourning the sister I knew as a kid, that relationship, having club Brothers gave me a bit of that life back. I used to blame myself for Fiona’s addiction because I didn’t come back for her like I promised. I was feeling lonely and unmoored when Wesson and I met. Riding was something I already did, having bought a bike as soon as I left the Army. For about a year, I rode from city to city, making my way across the United States with no destination in mind. That was how I wound up as Road Captain; I had the most miles on the bike in the shortest amount of time.
When I first patched in, it felt like I had a new lease on life. Dagger was a good president, no bullshit, no games. It wasn’t just about having Brothers or a cut, the Reaper’s Guard had a mission. Through Seph’s Trail, I felt like I could finally help the way I had always planned to. It was my penance for failing Fiona, for letting her slip through the cracks. I wouldn’t sit by and let women and kids fall under the radar; abused, neglected, hungry and alone.
I threw everything into Seph’s Trail, ecstatic when they asked me to help chart out the new routes. This was what I was meant for, this is how I would give back, honor what Fiona and I had gone through as kids, how we depended on each other when there was no one else we could rely on. Suddenly, it felt like it was all a lie. Seeing Fiona again after all those years, knowing how wrong I was about everything killed something inside of me.
She was right; I was making excuses. I could have done so much more to find her, but the ugly truth was that it was easier not to. I was completely to blame for losing contact, and that made it even harder to reach out later.I felt so much shame when I left the Army, realizing four years had gone by, and not once had I spoken to my sister in person. I didn’t know anything about her life at that point, where she lived even. It kept me up at night, how I convinced myself so deeply of something that didn’t exist.
How close I was to reconnecting with my sister again, what our lives would be like if I had just found her and spoken to her directly all those years earlier. Instead, I assumed the worst and ran off, drowning in my own self-loathing. It was hard to look in the mirror, knowing that I had failed the only person who needed me.
That shame clung to me like a second skin. I was unable to wash it off. Each new day passed, knowing my sister was soclose, but never further away. Every memory, every decision I had made up until that point in my life, I was now questioning.
