The woman cradled a toddler to her chest, resting her chin on top of his head. Her eyes were half-closed with exhaustion, while her husband wore a similar dazed expression. They appeared to be here in body, but not particularly in mind.
A flurry of memories rushed over Greta, taking her back to the past. All the sleepless nights with Lottie as a baby, the endless juggling, longing for just one romantic dinner with Jim without being interrupted by fans.
She remembered trying to read a bedtime story to Lottie, only for her daughter to ask if they were rich, because a school friend wanted to know. Mapleville might look perfect, but it seemed like the demands of early parenthood were the same everywhere.
Fame, Greta was now beginning to remember, hadn’t been so glamorous when she’d struggled to balance it with family life. She’d forgotten a lot of these messy and inconvenient moments when looking at them through rose-tinted glasses.
Greta glanced at Tobias again. He was looking at his watch rather than the trailer, shuffling a foot as if he had better things to do.
When the screen went blank and the lights came back on, applause ricocheted around the room. Greta let go of a long breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding.
A spotlight swept across the stage, settling on the tips of her shoes.
Tobias extended his hand towards her. ‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ he said. ‘I give you the wonderful Greta Perks. Please join me in applauding this well-deserved recognition of her talents—the Gold Star People’s Award.’
Unlike her pretend ceremony at the coffee morning, this time Greta stood fixed to the spot, feeling like her bones were setting to stone. She didn’t want to walk onto the stage, and only moved when Nora gave her a small shove.
She found herself facing the man she’d admired as a performer for a long time. If she was honest, Tobias occasionally popped into her dreams, too, leaving her feeling rather flushed and flustered when she woke up.
From his easy smile, Greta could see how much he was relishing the attention. After a few moments of basking too long, Tobias quietened the crowd with a raised hand.
When he presented her with the award, Greta felt like she was in a trance. It was a heavy, gleaming gold star on a plinth that looked rather plasticky up close. Tobias wrapped his arms around her, holding her so tightly she felt her spine pop. She could smell the cologne on his neck, something lemony with a hint of leather.
‘You look fantastic,’ Tobias whispered, followed by what sounded like a purr. ‘Let’s grab a drink together afterward, away from all the minions.’
Greta tried not to shudder.Minions?Is that what he thought of his fans?
She took the award and clutched it so tightly her knuckles turned white. Standing in front of the microphone, she blinked against the bright lights. The room blurred before her eyes, and for a moment, she felt so wobbly she wondered if she was slipping back to Iris’s coffee shop.
What do I say? What do I do?
Her mind was a blank.
She opened her mouth, saying the first thing that came to mind. ‘Thank you,’ she murmured, wincing at how reedy her voice sounded. ‘This award means more than I can put into words. I’m so grateful to all of you, for your support, for believing in me. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt so loved.’ Greta placed her hand on her chest. ‘To be honest, this all feels like a dream. Wonderful, yes, but also very strange.’
She felt like she was rambling, yet also speaking the truth. Glancing down at the award, she noticed a deep scratch on its plinth and ran her finger across it.
Greta carried on with her speech. ‘What matters to me most are the genuine connections I have in my life, my friends and my family. I’m so proud of my daughter, Lottie, and my husband, Jim. I like to believe that families always find their way back to each other.’ A tear pricked her eyes. ‘At least, that’s what I hope for.’
Out of the corner of her vision, she saw Tobias shaking his head as if bewildered.
‘I wish I could stand here and say I’m ready for the future,’ she continued. ‘That I know exactly where I’m going and what I’m doing. But I don’t. I’m here, celebrating, with no idea what happens next. And I think . . . most of us feel that way. Don’t we? We chase after things, we long for things, when maybe what really matters has been here all along.’ She hesitated and gave a small laugh. ‘Or maybe I’m just talking nonsense . . .’
Silence confronted her. People in the crowd looked at each other in confusion. Someone sliced a finger across their throat. Cut.
‘Thanks so much for this award,’ Greta said, managing to rattle off a few more sentences, thanking Tobias for his kind words. With a final wave, she hurried off the stage, feeling like she’d left part of herself behind as a human sacrifice to the audience.
It didn’t seem to be the speech anyone had expected. A long pause hung in the air before polite applause eventually broke out. It followed Greta as she stepped into the wings.
Nora stood waiting for her, holding two glasses of champagne. ‘That was, um, spectacular, darling,’ she said, handing Greta a flute as if it was another trophy. ‘Well-done. You were born for this life.’
Greta wasn’t so sure. She set down her award and gripped the chilled stem of her glass. She sipped the champagne, then instantly coughed and spluttered. It tasted sharp and acidic, just like vinegar.
Nora stared at her. ‘What’s wrong?’
Greta pulled a face. ‘It’s disgusting, like something you’d sprinkle on fish and chips.’
‘Really? It tastes wonderful to me,’ Nora said, savouring a long sip.
