“We are...and they are. But I’m not sure if I’mreallyhappy, or if you are either.”
He frowned, as if happiness was a far-off destination he didn’t have a ticket for. “We’re getting along fine, just like we used to. We’ve got a grandchild and we still love each other. You hated it when your dad used to leave you and your mum behind.”
“That was different, I was only a child,” Ginny said. “He didn’t listen to Mum’s needs and their partnership wasn’t equal. I’ve spent my entire life listening to others and trying to help them, and now I’m askingyouto listen and to helpme.”
She reached out and stroked the face she’d loved for more than three decades, wanting to be truthful, even if it hurt him. Hurt them both. Her throat constricted as she spoke. “I’m not sure what’s missing from my life, but I think going to Italy might help me find it.”
“But—” Adrian started.
“We’re still working on rebuilding our relationship and I’m not sure what shape it will take. Does being married mean living together all day, every day?” She shrugged. “Shouldn’t we support and encourage each other to spread our wings? We both love Phoebe, but she’s left home and has her own life, has created her own family. Italy is only two and a half hours away, the same as if you or I took up a job in London. It’s easy to keep in touch. It’s not like my father who constantly flitted in and out of my life. It’d be nice to travel and to see new things on my own terms, for once.”
Her words hung in the air like dust particles during spring cleaning.
Adrian dipped his chin and thought for some time. “I know whatIwant and it’s you. I’m willing to try anything to keep us together, but I want you to be certain, too. If you’re not sure about us, and you want to return to Italy, then of course you should go. I’ll be waiting for you when you get home. I never want to walk away from you again.”
“Adrian—” Ginny started, unsure where her sentence was going. This is what she’d always wanted to hear, what she’d wanted to feel. “I need time to find myself again... I don’t know how long it will take.”
“You’re notaskingme to do this, I’moffering,” he said, taking her hands in his. “I’ll wait for you.”
Relief washed over her. This wasn’t about wanting to be with another man, or meeting other people or escaping her life. It was aneedto learn more about herself again, what she was good at, what she liked and what she wanted to do for the next part of her life. Could she be happy on her own, or did she need the security and stability of family around her? The only way to find out was to throw off her comfort blanket and embrace the unknown. If she didn’t, she’d always wonder what might have been. “Thank you,” she said, kissing Adrian on the cheek.
Ginny sat down with Phoebe to explain her decision. She promised to come home on a regular basis.
“I kind of get it,” Phoebe said, stroking Erin’s wispy hair and holding her close. “I’m a mum now and will never bejust meagain. If you go, we’ll come to visit you. I just hope you and Dad work things out.” She held up her crossed fingers.
Adrian drove Ginny to the airport where they held each other tightly and said their goodbyes. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he circled his arms around her back. “Love you,” he said.
She breathed in the scent of his skin and relished the prickle of his cheek against hers. She knew she’d miss him a great deal. “Love you, too,” she said, and this time the words felt right.
37
Hearts
Ginny and Nico
Ginny had spent her first week in Italy on her own, staying in a remote Tuscan farmhouse. She’d walked all day and tried to make soup that was as good as Nico’s in the evening, never quite managing it.
She’d moved on to the beach resort of Lido di Jesolo, where she’d mingled with holidaymakers in the boutiques, bars and on the miles of golden beach. As she’d watched all the couples and families, the singles and the children, Ginny sometimes worried if she was doing the right thing. Yet, surely it was better to lay herself open to the world, to feel the discomfort of the new, rather than the numbness of the known. In Loretta’s words, she would not know what was right or wrong for her until she tried it.
She’d next traveled to Vigornuovo, where she’d now been working at Splendido for one month, staying in a tiny room that was once used for storage because all the guest rooms were fully booked.
Ginny was trying to learn Italian by listening to the radio, especially any advice shows. Nico talked patiently to her in the language while they made pasta together for his hotel guests. She appreciated his kindness and friendship.
The renewed interest from holidaymakers in Splendido had come courtesy of Curtis. After leaving Italy, he’d updated his blog with details about his health struggles. His last piece said...
CURTIS’S BRAIN BLOG
Man Alive.
I’m not a sophisticated man, never been particularly talented at anything except making my own luck in the world. I’ve spent the last few months enduring hospital visits, scans and treatment and my luck’s finally running out.
If you get sad reading this—don’t. Because I’m not. And I’ve got four strangers to thank for it.
This summer, I spent three weeks at the Hotel Splendido, in Vigornuovo, Bologna. It wasn’t that long, and everyone feels better after a holiday, right? Except it helped me put things into perspective. I learned life isn’t just about me and it came as a big surprise. Playing bingo, eating olives at midnight, picnics, sightseeing, drinking nonalcoholic cocktails (yes, really), the sea lapping my ankles and even listening to weird gong music—the little things meant a lot. Splendido was a haven for broken hearts and I had a great time.
Now I’m keeping busy, decorating my apartment and staying grateful. (Copper and dark wood look great together—try it!) I wish I could go back to Italy but the demon in my head is calling the shots.
You only get one life. So, my advice is laugh often, try something new, talk to people. Why not?
