“My mum bought it for me, too. I loved the illustrations of the girl wandering through the overgrown plants and flowers.”
Ginny’s thoughts took her back in time to her tenth birthday. Most of her childhood birthdays had become a jumble in her head, but this one stood out for all the wrong reasons.
She’d woken with butterflies in her stomach because her dad had promised to come home and spend the day with her. He’d missed many important events throughout her early life, school plays, birthdays and Christmases, so this was going to be special.
“Are you okay?” Nico asked, noticing her thoughts had flitted elsewhere.
“Talking aboutThe Secret Gardenmade me think about my mum and dad,” Ginny admitted. “Some of my memories are a little sad...” She tried to fix her mind on the sound of trickling water and an airplane soaring overhead, instead of on her parents. “The sun is very hot,” she said. “Can we sit down for a while?”
“Prego.” Nico led the way toward a white marble bench in the shade, surrounded by red roses.
They sat together quietly for a few minutes.
“If you want to talk,” he said, “I am a good listener.”
Ginny knew that people contacted her show to reveal their worries because their words wouldn’t stay inside them. And now she found her own story was pushing her to set it free, too.
She bit her lip, sensing Nico was a good man that she could trust. She slipped her mask back on, finding it easier to talk to him from behind it.
“My dad was in the military which meant he traveled a lot,” she explained. “Mum was very supportive of his career, but things became more difficult when they had me. Dad was absent for months at a time and Mum and I had to follow him around the country, living in a series of different houses that never felt like home.
“Whenever Dad returned, it felt like Christmastime and I used to run and fling my arms around his waist. He’d swoop me off my feet and swing me from side to side. He always brought presents for me, a doll, T-shirt or a bracelet. I didn’t care what they were, the gifts proved to me that he loved me. They made me forget that he’d soon have to leave us again.”
Nico made a sympathetic noise. “Did you also have to attend different schools?” he asked.
Ginny nodded. “I found it very tough,” she said with a sigh. “I was always the new girl and had to learn to fit in quickly. I created a role for myself as a good listener, offering other girls a friendly ear and a shoulder to cry on. That was my thing. Dad also bought me a dog, a Jack Russell, as a companion.
“As I grew older, I began to notice how Dad’s job made life difficult for Mum. She was very bright and had passed all her exams at school, but the short-term jobs she had to take on didn’t utilize her skills fully. I think she squashed her potential so that Dad could reach his and she started to resent it.
“Constantly moving was a chore and I noticed Mum growing quieter and wearier, especially when she reached her forties. She lost her sparkle and I overheard her talking to Dad on the phone, pleading with him to keep our family in one place.” Ginny stopped speaking for a while, also remembering her mum mentioning her struggles with an early menopause. It was something she didn’t share with Nico.
“I remember my tenth birthday because Dad had promised to be there, to watch me unwrap my presents and to sing when I blew out the candles on my cake. I think Mum was just as excited, too.
“We decorated the house we were staying in with banners and balloons, to make it look cheerier, and I spent ages making a ‘Welcome Home’ sign.” Ginny paused and lowered her chin, disappointment creeping over her. “But then Dad phoned and said his plans had changed. He wasn’t coming home and would be working away for a further few weeks.
“Mum started yelling at him and it was the first time I’d heard her so angry and upset. She told Dad that she’d finally had enough and she thumped her hand down on the table so hard a vase toppled over. I remember water pooling on the table and tears streaming down her face. Their row on the phone meant that Dad didn’t even have time to wish me a happy birthday.
“Me and Mum ate my birthday cake together in silence and she ripped down the welcome home banner. She gave meThe Secret Gardenand made it clear that she’d bought it for me, not Dad. I watched her defiantly apply pink lipstick.
“During the night, I couldn’t sleep and I wanted to check Mum was okay. I thought I could hear voices in the kitchen, so I crept downstairs to see her.
“I saw her standing by the back door, in an embrace with a man who wasn’t my dad. I couldn’t see his face but he was holding her tightly, whispering into her hair and caressing her back. It looked very...intimate.”
Ginny dug her fist into her stomach, recalling the slug of shock she’d felt. The memory of her mum with someone else still made her want to scratch her skin. “I wanted to run away but I froze to the spot. I was sad and furious and confused, yet I also understood. I couldfeelwhat Mum was going through with my dad and I wanted her to be happy. All she wanted was a normal, stable family life and I wanted it, too.”
“I am sorry,” Nico said quietly. “What did you do?”
“Nothing. I left them alone and went back to bed. I let Mum have her moment of comfort and I never mentioned it to her, then or since. I still don’t know if I made the right decision...
“In the weeks that followed, it was like someone had waved a magic wand, making Mum smile again. She seemed to dance when she walked and I guessed it might be because of this man. I convinced myself she wasn’t having an affair, but I never knew if that was true or not.
“We moved again soon afterward and this time Mum gave Dad an ultimatum. She told him she couldn’t live this way any longer, that their marriage was dedicated to his needs and she wanted to think about her own, too. She threatened to leave him if things didn’t change.”
Nico’s fingers edged closer to Ginny’s hand, to console her, and she flashed him a watery smile.
“I think Dad finally realized that marriage was about two people being satisfied, not just one. He found a home and a job that kept us all together in one place,” Ginny said. “Mum and Dad tried to make things work but, by then, Mum had been left on her own for too long. Dad missed his career and resentment from both sides made their marriage rot.
“I tried to be the glue that held us all together, always pointing out Mum and Dad’s good points to each other and suggesting things we could do together. But I used to hear Mum crying at night and Dad pacing around downstairs. The weight of responsibility I placed on myself was crushing.”
