Ginny frowned and considered his words. If she told Adrian it was okay to continue, was it like giving him permission to cheat? On the other hand, she didn’t want to say no. She thought carefully before replying.What would your wife think about it?
I think she lost interest in me some time ago, he said.
Ouch. Ginny’s mouth dried instantly. She’d never grown bored of Adrian. Had she really given him that impression? He hadn’t exactly made her feel desirable either. Her neck stiffened and she stared out of the window.
While she was considering how to reply, Adrian messaged again.We split up very recently and I’ve moved out of our home, he said.I’m feeling useless and unnecessary right now.
Ginny felt a weird mix of empathy and anger toward him that she struggled to contain.Perhaps your wife feels the same way, too, she said.
Maybe. She’s a good person and a great mother, but I’ve kind of lost myself as an individual over the years. What’s your situation?
Ginny’s face fell. Why hadn’t she detected that Adrian felt this way? Although he didn’t tell her things like this, she prided herself on her ability to read people’s emotions.
Now that she was in Italy, on vacation with strangers, visiting galleries, shops and gardens in Florence, eating gorgeous food, hiking and soaking up the beautiful scenery and learning to sew, her problems felt muted and further away. Even the low times were being bolstered by the sunshine. Perhaps it had taken Adrian leaving her to push them both out of their comfort zones.
I guess I’m in a similar situation to you, she replied.Sometimes I feel like I’m wearing a costume, trying to be what others want me to be, rather than my true self. Or, is that too deep?
I totally understand! I sell cars for a living. I smile and talk about the weather and golf and new restaurants, anything to clinch a sale. It’s like selling a piece of my soul.
Ginny nodded in agreement.It’s my job to help others and I’m happy to give them my all, but because I appear confident, people rarely ask how I’m feeling.
So, how are you?Adrian asked.Tell me.
Ginny closed her eyes, listening to the birds singing outside. Talking to her husband in this way was exactly what she’d wanted for a long time. It was what she needed.You really want to know?
Yes.
She inhaled deeply. They hadn’t spoken to each other in this way for ages. They’d been together for over three decades and it was taking an ocean between them and anonymity to allow them both to open up. Perhaps if they’dreallytalked to each other properly and sooner, they wouldn’t be in this mess.
I’ve devoted years of my life to someone I thought I’d be with forever. Now he says he wants to start afresh and the longer we’re apart, the more confused I feel. It’s making me rethink my entire life.
I can relate to that, Adrian replied.
The worrying thing is, I’m enjoying doing things without him. Do you have any regrets about leaving?
Some. I could have been kinder. (Told you I was human). I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I just wanted to think about myself for once.
Ginny rubbed her neck.Do you think you’ll change your mind?
Things happen for a reason, he said.Perhaps we should change the subject?
She wanted to know his answer to her question, but didn’t want to derail their conversation.Sure. That’s a good idea, she said.
Okay! What’s the best thing in your life right now?
His words made memories appear in Ginny’s head, about a game she and Adrian used to play when they’d first started dating. They spent hours asking each other about their favorite cheeses or films. Who was the best James Bond and who was the worst? Was Gorgonzola better than Edam? Would you prefer to have legs for arms, or a big toe for a nose? His question was something she could answer easily.My daughter, she replied.She’s getting married soon.
Hey! Mine, too. I miss her a lot. The house feels empty without her.
I know the feeling. It’s like a chapter of my life has ended. Sorry if that sounds melodramatic.
It’s because you care, he said.We sound like similar people.
Yes, we do.
Ginny rubbed her forehead, battling an urge to reveal her true identity. As the words queued up on her tongue, she mulled over the consequences, reminding herself how Adrian had treated her. When she thought about his pierced ear and his refusal to go on holiday, a vein in her forehead throbbed. What on earth was she doing, talking to him like this? What washedoing?
A knock on her bedroom door made her jump to attention. She cocked her head and her heart pounded. When the rapping came again, she messaged Adrian back.Sorry, got to go.
