When the evaluation forms arrived under Ginny’s door that night, Edna’s heartache score had risen again, from a seven back up to a ten, and she hadn’t written a single word.
17
Costume
Stage Four. Depression, reflection, loneliness.
You may feel like you’re in a boat on your own, entering the Tunnel of Love at a fairground. You don’t have a partner sitting beside you, so you feel deeply lonely. The darkness stretches ahead and you can only see vague reflections in the water. You can’t get out, so you need to let the ride pull you along.
The morning after the quilt incident, Ginny sat on the edge of her bed and felt lower than she had in days. Just as Edna had begun to open up, she had closed back shut like a Venus flytrap. Ginny had only tried to be caring, showing an interest in her life, and now felt like she’d made things worse.
It made her miss Phoebe dreadfully and, wanting to hear a friendly voice from home, she gave her a call.
Phoebe didn’t pick up and a few seconds later a text arrived.
Hi Mum, sorry can’t speak. Got an appointment. Call you later. Hope you’re having fun xx
Ginny lowered her phone and wanted something else to lift her mood. She decided to listen to music and opened the Talk Heart FM website.
The message about Ginny taking time off remained, though her photograph had been replaced by the person hired to cover her show.
A smiling young woman with a mass of curls, wearing ripped jeans and a black PVC bra top, made a heart with her hands. The caption saidKizzi Keeps it 100.
A Twitter feed at the bottom of the page featured a tweet from Tam.
Blessed for Kizzi Matthews to join the Talk Heart FM squad. Gotta problem? Kizzi keeps it real #advice #allthefeels #livecalls
Ginny’s face crumpled. Her head and shoulders felt heavy and she crashed back onto the mattress, staring up at the ceiling. Her temporary replacement was prettier, younger and cooler than her. Who would her listeners prefer? Were they even missing her or wondering how she was?
She muttered to herself about her own years of experience and searched for more information about Kizzi. The younger woman had a degree in psychology and counseling, and certificates in sex education, healthy eating and personal training. She’d recently passed her motorcycle test.
Ginny ground her teeth. She imagined herself as a disused car in a scrapyard, whose only use was for spare parts, and a gloominess descended upon her that made her room appear darker. She was glumly scrolling through shopping sites on her phone when a message arrived.
It was from Adrian on ChainReaxions.
Ginny’s heart began to pound and she sat bolt upright on the bed. A green dot on the website told her Adrian was currently online and available to chat. Her heart raced as she read his message.
Hi, Jenny. Thanks for the wink. How are you?
Ginny squeezed her phone so tightly her knuckles cracked. A range of emotions whirled around inside her, excitement and intrigue followed by an overwhelming sadness that her husband was chatting to her through a dating app. Although she wanted to reprimand him for not answering her calls and texts, she needed to remain undercover.
Fine thanks, she replied.Though I admit I have no idea what I’m doing on here. It’s a new thing for me, kind of alien.
I like your honesty, Adrian said.Ifeel the same way. Connecting used to start with a smile and coffee. Or does that make me sound old?
Honesty? Ginny sighed at the irony of his word. She moved over to the window and leaned against the sill.It makes you sound like a human being, she texted back.
Good, because I am one. Well, at least the last time I checkedAdrian said.
Glad to hear you’re not a robot, Ginny replied.
So, how’s your Sunday going? Do you kick-start it with waffles, newspapers or strong coffee?
Ginny wasn’t sure what day it was. Her first week in Italy had whizzed by and she’d lost track of time.All three served at once, please, she replied.Actually, I think the word kick-start should be banned during the weekend. What’s wrong with a leisurely pace?
Nothing. It should be obligatory.
A couple of minutes passed before Adrian messaged her again.I need to be honest with you, Jenny. I’m still married, so I understand if you don’t want to talk to me.
