After placing the mailbox key on the kitchen worktop, she concocted a bottle full of water, distilled vinegar, lemon juice and drops of lavender oil using ingredients she’d brought in her handbag. When she’d finished wiping down all the surfaces, the flat smelled like a fresh field in springtime, although the hollows in the carpets still remained.
Liv recalled a trick her mum once showed her. If you placed ice cubes on sunken areas of carpet, they melted and the fibres fluffed up like magic.
Essie’s freezer was still plugged in and Liv was pleased to find a tray of ice in the bottom drawer. She pressed out the cubes and placed them in lines along the indentations. Soon, the last traces of Essie would be gone for good.
When she finished, she sat on the windowsill in the writing room and looked out across the city, no longer fearful about the long drop down to the streets below. The soothing scent of lavender helped her thoughts to drift.
In her head, she heard Essie’s pen scribbling and the sound of crumpled paper balls plopping onto the carpet. She almost reached out to pick one up. She listened to her breath for a while, the only sound in the room.
All Essie’s books had gone, and the photos that displayed a lifetime of memories, too. Whatever Essie might have lost over the years, her passion, her health and her ability to love, she and Liv had found each other, even if it was in an unusual way.
‘We could have been a good team, Essie,’ she whispered. ‘But it’s time to move on, on my own. I want to keep diving for treasure.’
She had always thought that forty-two-year-old mums didn’t appear in fairy tales, but she didn’t believe that any longer. If stories didn’t exist the way you wanted them, you had to create your own. And whatever happened in Liv’s life from now on, she knew Essie’s influence would stay with her forever, like an invisible force field, making her feel brave. Making her feel like Liv Green rather than Georgia Rory.
She wiped away a tiny smear off the window with her sleeve and reluctantly got to her feet. She padded towards the writing-room door and stood there for a while, allowing herself one last memory of Essie sitting at her desk. The author had her back to Liv. Her head was bowed and her black bob obscured her face.
Liv placed a hand against the doorframe. ‘I’m not sure I can totally understand everything you did, Essie, but I’ll always try to think of you with kindness.’
She imagined Essie lifting her chin, turning her head and pressing her fingertips together. As Liv pulled the door closed, the two women held each other’s gaze and smiled at each other through the gap, until it finally clicked shut.
Liv lowered her chin.
With her vision blurring, she entered and quickly scanned each of the other rooms. She wiped her eyes and glanced around for dropped pins, stray earring backs and specks of paper. She said her goodbyes to the fluffy carpets and marble work surfaces. She hoped wherever Essie was, there was a nice view and decent cakes.
When she finally walked along the hallway and reached the front door, Liv imagined Essie calling out to her.Goodbye, Olivia.
Liv hesitated with her hand on the handle. ‘Goodbye, Essie,’ she said. ‘Thanks for everything.’
That is all, Essie said.
When Liv felt the handle moving downward, she jumped back and the door swept towards her by a few inches. A black boot appeared, nudging it open. Liv craned her neck to see Jake carrying a small cardboard box under one arm. She’d arranged to meet him outside the building a little later that morning.
‘Another resident let me in downstairs,’ he said. ‘I finished work early and left my dad showing Katrina how to bind books. Can you believe it?’
‘I need a good imagination to actually picture it.’
‘Well, you certainly have that. To apologize for her behaviour, I suggested Katrina should make you a notebook.’
‘You might be pushing her too far.’ Liv laughed. ‘But I do actually need a new one.’
Jake raised the box he was holding. ‘The postman was delivering this and I saw your name on the label. I said I’d bring it up for you.’ He passed it to her.
The box felt heavy in Liv’s hands. ‘I think I know what it is,’ she said. She crouched and set it down on the floor. Peeling back the strips of tape, she opened the flaps and curls of polystyrene sprang out.
Jake stooped to pick them up. ‘Got to keep this place tidy. I can see all your vacuum tracks. Imagine trying to keep this place clean with Mack and Johnny around.’ He rolled his eyes.
Liv looked along the hallway. The pale grey carpets looked like an ice rink, with marks made by skates. ‘Imagine?’ she said. ‘I’ve been trying to do it for years.’
They met each other’s gaze, knowing the two of them would be alone in the house for a while, until their sons came home from university for Christmas.And Liv felt in her heart it was all going to be okay.
She pulled down her sweater sleeves to cover her hands so she didn’t get fingerprints on the crystal award that lay in the box. It was a good copy of Essie’s Constellation Prize. She’d ordered it while staying in the student flat, to replace the broken version, and gave the delivery address for Essie’s flat while on autopilot. ‘I’ll take this to Anthony at the museum, this morning. Want to come with me?’
He nodded and read the engraved lettering. ‘You might win something like that, one day,’ he said.
Liv didn’t joke, or bat his words away, or say that it was impossible. Instead she imagined how that would feel.Well done, sweet pea, her dad whispered in her ear. ‘I’d love that,’ she said. She didn’t need a prize to feel his pride in her, and her own pride in herself.
Jake stood back up and looked around him, at the high ceilings, pristine white walls and skirting boards without scuff marks.
