“Yes,” she answers, sounding so sure.
“You’re not worried about Ellie?” I ask, knowing Ellie was a big reason Lainey would never cross a line with me.
“I am, a bit. But I think she’d want me to be happy, and right now, this would make me happy.”
“She would,” I agree, licking my lips. Her eyes follow the movement, and I watch as goosebumps form on her small arms.
“Holland,”she murmurs, her breath hot against my skin.“I’m scared,” she says softly, looking down.
Placing my pointer finger under her chin, I bring her face up to look at me.
“Don’t be,” I tell her. “I’m not going to hurt you, Lane.”
“You can’t tell Ellie, not yet. I have to be the one to tell her, do you understand me?” she says sternly, and I can’t help but smile a bit at the authority in her tone. She’s not even a little intimidating, but I nod, agreeing with her.
“Okay, I won’t say anything.”
“I’m serious, Holland. I will cut your balls off and feed them to you if she finds out from anyone other than me,” she warns.
“As fun as that sounds, I solemnly swear that I will not tell my sister anything until you have done so,” I tell her, holding up my right hand.
“You have to promise me one thing,” Lainey says, and her face is much softer now, more vulnerable. “Don’t make me regret this, Monroe.”
My heart squeezes, knowing this girl never lets anyone in and she’s choosing to let me in. She’s opening up to me, and that means more to me than I ever thought it would.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Barkley,” I tell her, and mean it. I would never do anything to hurt her.
Lainey takes a deep breath before looking me in the eyes and saying, “Okay, then kiss me.”
Chapter 26
Lainey
My heart pounds in my chest, my mind a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts. A part of me knows I shouldn’t give in. I know this is probably going to be a mistake. I know I will probably get hurt in the end, but I don’t want to wonder anymore.
I don’t want to have to wonder what it would be like to be with him. I don’t want to keep these feelings bottled up anymore. I can’t, or I’ll go insane.
Even if this is just a one-time thing, I need to try. I need to do this for me, so I can stop questioning what’s going on between us.
Holland is obviously as attracted to me as I am to him, and we’re both adults. We can do this and not make a big deal about it.
I am slightly concerned about what will happen when I tell Ellie, and I will tell her. I just don’t know when. I can’t tell her today, definitely not. It’s Gwen’s wedding day, and we all have other things to worry about.
She probably won’t even care. She might even cheer and think it’s amazing. Who knows? All I do know is that this is not the day to be dropping a bomb like this.
I don’t think I’ve always had feelings for Holland. I’ve thought he was a pain in the ass, I’ve thought he was a dick, I’ve thought he was a good friend, and I’ve thought he was annoying. Granted, I still think that.
Now, I think he’s freaking sexy, and I want to climb him like a tree. I don’t know if I can even deny that anymore, and why deny it? Why not just do something about it?
He’s right here, and he’s been so sweet, and he helped me last night. I don’t think I could stop myself from jumping him even if I tried.
He’s still in his suit from last night, and he looks hot as hell. I swear, when I walked into the ballroom and saw him standing there, my panties almost dropped on their own. Like, how is it even possible for someone to be so effortlessly attractive?
Before I can stop myself, I lean in, my lips brushing against his. The kiss is soft at first, tentative, as if we’re both testing the waters. But it quickly deepens, our lips pressing together with a hunger that surprises me. My hands tangle in his hair, pulling him closer, my body pressing against his.
It's as if Holland’s resolve crumbles as he wraps his arms around me, his hands roaming over my back, my waist, my hips. He’s warm and hard, and I can feel his heart racing, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps. I’m not even thinking about the fact that neither of us have brushed our teeth yet today.
Okay, well now I am.
