My thoughts are interrupted with a loud knock on my door. Twirling around, I head for the door and look through the peephole to make sure it’s not a stranger.
When I see its Gwen, I open the door and she barrels into the room, squeezing me so tight I lose the air in my lungs.
“Oh my god, you’re here! I’m so excited!” Gwen squeals, pulling back to look at me. She’s glowing, as always. Her brown hair is curled, and her skin looks sun kissed causing her blue eyes to pop.
She’s grinning from ear to ear, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so happy. Gwen was a bit of cynic, not as bad as I am, but she didn’t totally believe in happily ever after, as much as she wanted to. I’m really happy she found hers, even if I am a little jealous.
The thought of attaching myself to someone forever scares the shit out of me, and the thought they could leave you at any moment scares me even more. I’ve been perfectly happy with my casual hookups and one-night stands. That is, until recently.
I’ve been feeling a bit lonely, and I don’t normally feel that way, so this is new to me. Is that why I’m feeling this emotional attachment to Holland all of a sudden?
Am I so desperate and alone that I’ve gained an attraction to one of the most annoying men on the face of the planet? Although, seeing him so vulnerable on the plane made me feel a different type of way.
I wanted to help him. I felt this nagging feeling in my gut that made me feel like I had to make sure he was okay. I’ve never been that way, not even with Gwen or Ellie.
I’m the kind of friend they make memes about. The one where the friend is standing super far away and patting their friend on the back with a broom. That’s me.
Comforting people isn’t really my forte. Never really has been.
Speaking of Holland, the thought of him sends a shiver down my spine and Gwen obviously notices because the grin on her face slowly fades away, replaced with a look of concern.
Her head tilts in confusion and I know she’s going to ask a million questions, but I don’t want to talk about what I’m feeling or what happened on the plane. I know she’d keep it to herself, I just don’t even know how I truly feel about the whole thing.
She wouldn’t judge me, she never has. I just, I don’t know. This is all so complicated and the look Gwen is giving me right now is making me want to curl up in a ball and hide.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” she asks. Turning on my heel, I walk toward the bed and plop down.
“Yes, I’m great. We’re in Italy and you’re getting married and-”
Gwen cuts me off before I can continue rambling.
“You’re full of shit. What happened?”
“Nothing happened, I’m okay!” I chuckle softly at the worried expression on her face. I swear she’s like a mother, always worrying about everyone else and their feelings.
She rolls her eyes exaggeratedly. “Lainey Barkley, you tell me what the hell is wrong with you or so help me, I will uninvite you from my wedding,” she demands, crossing her arms over her chest as she attempts to look threatening. I can’t help but laugh.
“You’re going to uninvite your maid of honor a day before the wedding?” I challenge, knowing she is absolutely not going to do that. Her lip juts out in a pout.
Falling onto the bed next to me, she places her hands on my legs, her tan skin making me look like a ghost.
“Please, just tell me. I can tell something is bothering you, and I’m only trying to-”
“Holland and I kissed,” I blurt out, not even sure if I meant to say it or if it just forced itself out.
Gwen’s eyes go wide, and she freezes. Shit, I shouldn’t have said anything. She doesn’t need to deal with this a day before she gets married. Damnit, I’m a horrible friend.
“Holland, Holland? Like, Ellie’s brother Holland?” she asks, her eyes still wide, but she doesn’t look like she’s judging me.
I nod.
“You let him kiss you? Like on the lips?”
“Well, yeah, I guess. I mean, it was kind of like a mutual thing at the time but, yeah...” I say, cringing at the awkward feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Gwen squeals before jumping off the bed and dancing in her spot. “I knew it! I freaking knew it! I told Ryker something was going on between you two! The tension was so obvious,” she exclaims. Okay, so this wasn’t exactly the reaction I thought I’d be getting.
“What do you mean it was obvious? There was no tension, and there’s nothing going on between Holland and I,” I try to explain, but she’s still jumping around like a lunatic.
