I cross my arms, lift a brow, and fire back before I can stop myself. “I will once you figure outwhereI belong.”
His jaw clenches, but I don’t back down. I’ve kept too much in for too long.
“Because let’s not forget, I didnotcome here willingly.”
I don’t know why I’m pushing him like this. I feel so unconnected, so disoriented from my old life and this new one I’ve been thrown into. I miss my brothers desperately, and I feel myself changing so quickly, so drastically into an entirely new woman. One neither Ford nor Dex would recognize.
He throws me around in a way that’s becoming too exhausting to bear. I’ve barely maintained a hold on his volatility, and I find myself failing to understand what’s holding him back from being completely with me.
I’m losing my grip on reality, and I need Hayden to remind me of my place. I feel like any time apart fractures the closeness I’ve gained with him, and I’m desperate for his intoxicating control to straighten my head out.
His expression darkens, fast. Like I’ve crossed into dangerous territory, and it stokes the fire in my belly. I can’t help but push just a little more.
“Am I even allowed to be here?” I press on, “Or am I just warming the seat until Dale is ready for it?”
I don’t know why I say it. I’m so angry at his constant unpredictability, marred by his tenderness that’s only shown atthe slip of his resolve. I see it shocks him as much as it shocks me, and still, I poke and poke until I find just a little bit more of it. Hayden, wild and out of control, is the next best thing.
He brings his face closer to mine, nearly nose to nose. His voice drops low, sharp with fury he’s barely containing. “You’remine,” he growls. “And that question is quite rich coming from an ungrateful brat wearing my mother's jewels.”
There’s a pulse in his temple, ticking, a storm gathering in his eyes.
“You’remywife,” he says, each word deliberate.
I should be scared. I should shut up. But I don’t.
“Thenprove it,Hayden. Because right now, it feels like you’re trying harder to protect your secrets than me.”
That does it. His eyes go wild.
“Everything I do,every goddamn thing, is for you,” he spits, putting his hand in my hair and yanking my head back so I only have the chandelier above to look at. “And Ifucking hate it.”
The pressure on my scalp from his tugging my hair burns, and I cry out.
“I hate that I think about you when I’m supposed to be focused. I hate that I have totrynot to check in with the house staff every half hour to ensure you're safe.” His chest rises and falls like he’s been running. “You’ve wrapped yourself around everything in me. You’re in my bloodstream now.”
Unsettled by a kind of intensity I’ve never seen in Hayden before, I retreat to familiar ground, my voice softer than it was moments ago, “How do you know I don’t feel the same?”
I’m terrified of how much I want him. His grip is painful; his eyes are wild, his teeth clenched.
“It’s making it hard to think. It's hard to breathe when you’re not around. I don’t sleep. I don’tfuckingrest. And you ask if you’re supposed to be mine?” His voice drops, lethal now. “I made that decision long before I ever dragged you out of yourparents’ estate, and way before I stamped your name on half of everything Ifuckingown.”
He doesn’t stop talking. I’ve never heard him say so much, and I want to beg him not to stop. His voice makes my thighs clench, and the words on his tongue send a pulse straight to my hardening nipples. He is unaware how long I’ve craved this, craved hearing him unravel, letting me glimpse what’s inside his head.
“You have no idea,” he says, his voice lower now, like it’s dragging something heavy. “The things I’ve done for you.”
“Thentell me,Hayden,” I say, heart pounding.
He shakes his head, jaw tight.
“Please,” I whisper, wrapping my legs around his waist. He’s already hard, and I grind against him, shameless and desperate. The heat of him against me makes my head spin. We can’t get anything else right, but this? Him inside me? It’s the one thing that doesn’t fail.
“No.”
“Why not?”
His eyes flash, his energy shifts. I can see the wall slap back into place. The impenetrable fortress I seem only to break through when I’m on my knees for him.
“I don’t need to explain myself to you,” he growls. “I’ve done things you couldn’t stomach. Things that would make you questioneverything.”
