Costello:
Answer my girl so I can get her to bed. We have three kids that will be bouncing off the walls at five AM, and she gave the staff two fucking weeks off.
I send Drew a message.
Me:
She keeps herself very well.
Costello:
Do you love her yes or no? That’s all I require.
Me:
It’s new, but I like her on a level I’ve never reached.
Drew:
Yay!!!!
I don’t wake her when I need to leave because I’ve convinced her it’s okay to take a day to regroup mentally. I did let my lips brush against hers before I left, a stolen moment I will not feel guilty over, even though I was the one who told her that in a situation like this, there was no other speed than slow.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to fuck, and I’m pretty sure I want inside her more than I want to win the cup, but her trustingme? Wanting to be held by me? Feeling safe with me? There is nothing that beats trusting those you care about, and feeling safe, and I know this from experience, and right now, she’s getting hit hard and possibly for the first time, feeling unsafe by those who shouldn’t ever allow her to feel that, sick or not.
I’d take a thousand nights like last night over a million nights of mindless sex any day. I’ll endure it, and I will steal kisses, or almost kisses, whenever I can.
I leave knowing I’ll be back and hoping she will still be here.
When the elevator stops, and Deacon steps in, I brace for an ass chewing. He doesn’t react, and neither do I. I step to the side to give him more room, and the doors close. “Morning.”
“Morning,” he replies, then he finally looks at me. “You wanna tell me she’s crashing at The Bridgeview or?”
I turn and look at him, “You want me to tell you things about her, knowing I should not?”
“I can always assume.”
“Then assume, Moretti, don’t put me in that position.”
“Hard no to when.” He stops.
“When what?”
“She told us last night she had a panic attack.” He turns to face me. “Yet she’s putting more pressure on herself by —”
“Did you watch her at the market yesterday? See her light up? This isn’t added pressure. That’s love for a family and not just the three of you, but all of them. Nalani, Koa, Dash, and Noelle. And you and Claudia are inviting Faulker, Marshell, and sometimes me into it. That’s her happy place.”
“If it’s too much, I need to know.”
“If it were too much, she would step aside just to make sure Savannah and Claudia were safe, and loved the right way, and that’s with you.”
“What can we do to support her?” he asks.
“If she decides I’m not enough, don’t take my side. Have her back.”
“Huh?” he says and turns to walk out of the elevator as the doors open.
“What does huh mean?” I ask following him.
