We crash into the boards again. And again. And again.
At some point he stops laughing. At some point, I realize he’s breathing differently. At some point I realize I am too.
We collapse onto the ice, lying flat on our backs, blades scraping lightly as we stretch our legs out. The ceiling lights flicker above us. Everything is quiet except the sound of us trying to breathe normally again.
“You ever think about quitting?” he asks suddenly.
“No.”
“Never?”
“No,” I say. “It’s the only thing I’m good at.”
He turns his head toward me. His hair is stuck to his forehead. His cheeks are flushed red. He looks younger like this, and older at the same time.
“You’re good at more than hockey,” he says quietly.
I scoff. “Like what?”
“Like surviving.”
The words hit me harder than any check he’s given.
I don’t respond. I don’t know how to respond.
After a moment, he keeps going. “My father says the military will make me a man,” he says. “He says it’s tradition. Duty. Honor. All that crap.”
“It’s not optional?” I ask.
“No,” he says. “Nothing is optional when you’re a Volkov.”
His voice cracks in a way I don’t think he hears.
I sit up. He doesn’t.
“You’re scared,” I say.
He flinches. Just slightly.
“I’m not scared,” he says automatically. “I just… want something else.”
“What?”
He swallows. “A life I choose.”
I look at him—really look at him. The perfect prince of the gymnasium. The kid with the penthouse and the clothes and the name everyone whispers. The kid who gets whatever he wants except the one thing that actually matters. He wants freedom. I want stability. We are both starving for different things.
He sits up too, wiping frost from his gloves. “Kilovac?”
“Yeah.”
“If I ever…” He stops. Starts again. “When I’m gone—if I must leave—keep skating. Even if I’m not here to push you.”
Something cold slides down my spine. “Why would you be gone?”
He forces a laugh. “Ignore me. I’m tired. Dramatic, like you said.”
But I don’t ignore it. Because this is the first time, I realize Mikhail might not get the future he pretends he doesn’t care about. And I hate it.
