“No!”
The immediate and emphatic answer has my lips curling upward. “Even though Jan found it a burden?”
March scowls down at his jean-clad thighs. “I’m beginning to think Jan took too many knocks to the head. How the hell could football be a burden?”
“Well, that takes care of that.” I squeeze his hand, then let it go. “I know Jan has been your hero, and I think he still is. Thing with heroes, though. We tend to forget how human they are under all those feats of greatness.”
March worries his lip then blows out a hard breath. “You’re right. I know you’re right. Hell, I shared a bathroom with that fucker for years. If anyone knows he’s human, it’s me.”
“Well, that’s an image.”
He flashes a quick grin. “The things I could tell you, kid.”
“Let’s not.”
March hums thoughtfully, but his smile lingers.
“That only leaves relationships,” I say. “You in one we don’t know about?”
“God, no.” This too is emphatic. And not exactly flattering to those in current relationships. March’s scowl returns. “That’s one road I’m sticking clear of. Jan was right there. Football takes so much out of you. What’s left for someone else? I don’t know what he was thinking getting engaged—”
A look of embarrassed horror breaks out. “Shit, Pen. I didn’t mean—”
“To imply that August and I are stupid to get involved?” I supply blandly. He isn’t saying anything I haven’t worried about myself. August warned me not to fall in love with him because of football. The problem is, it’s useless to warn someone of the danger when you’ve already fallen.
March shifts to turn more my way. His expression is a little wild as though he’s worried his words might make me do something rash. “No, Pen. It’s different with you two.”
“How so?” I’m genuinely curious. “Jan was with Laura since sophomore year. That’s far longer than August and I have been... involved.”
March huffs. “Laura and Jan latched on to each other because Jan was the hot ticket and Laura was hot. Every time I visited them, they seemed more interested in who they were around than being together. It’s like they were together because it was the expected thing to do.”
“August and I got together because he needed a fake fiancée.”
March makes a face. “Pen, come on.”
“It’s true! And you know it. Okay, we’re together for real now. But our relationship started on less than Jan and Laura’s.”
Sighing, March ducks his head, sending inky strands of hair over his brow. When he lifts his gaze to mine, his is troubled. “I know we all make jokes about you having a crush on me when you were younger.”
“And I laugh every time. Internally.”
“Because it’s hilarious.”
“Hilariously overstated, if we’re being honest.”
“I think we’re the only ones who realize that.”
Before I can ask him to explain that more, he grows solemn and says, “The true question people should be asking is why I never went after you.”
“Was that ever a question?”
“It should have been. Because, Pen, you’re totally hot in that subdued librarian sort of way.”
Flushing, I glance away. God, I don’t want to hear this. I have never disliked my looks. There are days I feel downright pretty. But being told that I’m “totally hot” feels like putting on an ill-fitting overcoat.
Deflection, however, comes easy. “I don’t know why people always assume librarians are subdued. In my experience, they’re a fairly wild bunch.”
“Sure, sure. Let’s just go with the cliché, all right?”
