“Why would I?” She shrugs. “I didn’t date, didn’t have a boyfriend...”
The horror grows. “Your first kiss was—”
“With you in the stadium,” she finishes with a nod.
I can see it now. How nervous she was, how she’d been stiff at first and let me lead, not only because it was a manufactured show but because she’d never done it before.
“Oh, no.” I run a shaking hand through my hair. “No, no, no...”
Pen’s brows snap together, her nostrils flaring. “Are you upset that I’m so inexperienced?”
“I’m upset because your first kiss was done under false pretenses,” I exclaim, wanting to kick my own ass. “That’s on me. Shit.”
Pen glares hotly. “I thought it was good. I mean, yes, it was supposed to be fake, but I liked it. I liked all of our kisses.”
“Baby.” I cup her face with hands that aren’t too steady. “Fake kisses or not, you nearly brought me to my knees with them. But your first kiss should have been real both in action and thought.”
“Funny thing is, it felt real.”
“Maybe because I’ve been wanting to kiss you forever. It was real to me.”
“So why are you upset?”
“Because, in the back of our minds, we were thinking it was for show. That’s not right.” I brush a kiss over the tip of her nose. “Not when I should have told you what I wanted all along.”
Pen takes hold of my wrists and strokes my pulse as she searches my face. “So you don’t think it’s weird? The virgin thing?”
I kiss the corner of her mouth. Then the other corner. “I mean, I do wonder how you didn’t burst with horniness at some point.”
With a huff she wrinkles her nose. “I can get myself off perfectly well, thank you.”
“Killing me here.”
“August.”
I smile at the note of warning in her voice. “Sweets. No, it’s not weird. And you shouldn’t be embarrassed. You stayed trueto yourself. If you never found anyone you wanted to do this with, then you didn’t.” My thumb brushes the elegant curve of her jaw. “That you want to with me is humbling, and a huge turn-on, if I’m honest.”
The glossy tumble of her hair sways over her shoulder as she dips her head shyly. “I do. Want you, that is.”
“Sweets,” I whisper and pepper soft kisses along her cheeks, the corners of her eyes. “I do too. So fucking much.”
“Good.” She trembles and scoots closer. “But I don’t know what I’m doing. You’re going to have to take the lead.”
The plea affects me so much I take a minute to just breathe, resting my head against hers. The idea of leading her into sex, of being her first... I don’t give a shit if it’s base man-thinking, I fucking love it. I love that she trusts me that much, that I’ll be the one she remembers forever as her first. Because Iwillmake it good. It’s the most important job I’ve ever been given.
Breathing in deep, I straighten and hold her hands.
“We need to talk protection.”
“Okay.” Her expression turns serious, and even that makes me want to smile; I’m so gone on her.
“Okay,” I repeat. “I didn’t bring anything because I honestly hadn’t thought I’d be given this gift tonight.”
Her smile is small but sweet. “Shows what you know.”
“Yeah.” I kiss her again. “That’ll teach me.”
A soft laugh vibrates my lips. And I pull back to meet her eyes. “I’ll go and get some condoms.”
