When one pulls over, we climb into its backseat, and Julia belts out the address toUPCLOSE’s offices. I collapse back into the sticky leather seats and close my eyes.
“It’s going to be fine,” Julia offers, tapping me on my knee. “I’m even going to call for your favorite coffee, Richie will get it for us.”
“You have to stop sending that poor intern out for coffee. You need to give him some real work to do.”
“He’s done plenty of real work on me,” she says, throwing me a wink.
Gah. Isn’t he, like, nineteen?“How old is that kid?”
“Twenty. And endurance is strong with that one.” She’s looking down at her phone, texting someone. I wonder if she’s ordering anything extra, endurance-wise, with our coffee.
“He can’t legally drink, but endurance is what you’re after?” I ask with a laugh. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to get used to how people get together nowadays.
“Endurance is key. And flexibility. And—”
“I got it,” I laugh, holding up my hand. “He doesn’t mind getting you coffee.”
“Nope,” she giggles. “He doesn’t mind at all.”
Our driver inches through the morning rush of traffic like a snail, while rain beats down on the roof of the cab. The slower we move, the more anxious I get. In a handful of minutes, I’m going to see Dex again. My stomach flips. Julia prattles through a one-sided conversation about the best qualities a good sexual hook-up should have. I swear, all I hear is buzzing in my ears. My brain deflects to autopilot for the rest of the ride and the climb out of the car and the walk into our midtown office.God, she could have told me all the secrets to the universe, and I wouldn’t have heard a thing.
“Ready?” Julia asks as the elevator doors slides open.
“Not even the tiniest bit, no,” I murmur. A feeble laugh gets trapped in my throat. I pull in a deep breath and smooth down my pants and shirt. My feet won’t move.
Julia palms my back and pushes me forward.
I push back.
“It’s like ripping off a band-aid; just get the first time of seeing him over with and you’ll be fine. You’ll be better than fine.” Julia shoves me to the side and drags me forward.
No, she’s wrong. I’ll still be miserable and alone.
With a jerky nod, I step off the elevator. Inside the offices, the air is warm and the smell of the coffee that’s waiting for me wafts up to greet me. My heart sputters with apprehension under my smile. I wonder if I look like I’m going to vomit, because I’m just walking around like I could blow at any moment.
Julia ushers me to my desk, where two extra-large lattes are awaiting my arrival. I sip at one instantly and peek over the tops of all the cubicles to Dex’s workstation. It’s empty.
My shoulders relax. He’s not here yet. Maybe he isn’t even going to come in at all. Maybe he lied about coming in to work today and he’s still in California, fornicating with the infamous Pippa Grace.
I need to get my life back on track. I can’t keep doing this to myself. I settle into my workstation and bombard myself with ideas and pitches and work while sipping my delicious coffee.
At twenty after ten, Gail storms through the cubicles with her bullhorn in hand, screaming about a conference in the next thirty seconds. I smile instantly—I didn’t spill an ounce of coffee on myself with her jarring screeches. I don’t even stumble as I race beside Julia down the hallway into the conference room, balancing my coffee in my hand, laughing.
A handful of our colleagues hurry behind us; we’re all vying for first seats. Gail always calls the last people inslackers. Her own little version oflast-person-is-a-rotten-egg, and she tosses the worst projects their way. Gavin, Julia, and I try to scramble through door at the same time, like we’re characters in a slapstick comedy.
I get in first, steadily, then stumble when my eyes look up and lock on Dex’s who is already sitting at the far end of the conference table. My coffee fumbles in my fingers and I’m surprisingly able to keep it firmly balanced, but still too inept to stop it from splattering up the crisp white material of my shirt. Instantly, my eyes squeeze shut as tears threaten to worsen the situation.
Someone bumps into me from behind, and I let out a string of curses that makes the entire room of fast-filling people stop and stare at me. My cheeks burn and my mouth goes dry. I slam my coffee down at the first available space I can find. Somewhere Karma is flipping me the bird as she laughs maniacally, because the only empty chair is directly across from Dex.
I give him a quick once-over as I stand in front of my chair and unbutton my stained shirt. Thank God, I wore a cami underneath.Karma, bite me. Dex looks horrible. Handsomely horrible. Someone haunted by something, tormented—it must be all thePippa partying. His hair is unruly and sticking up at odd angles, in desperate need of a haircut, but still able to pull off looking good. His eyes are narrow slits, staring down at the table in front of me, his mouth slashed across his face in a tight frown. I pull my arms free from my sleeves and hang my ruined shirt off the back of my chair. It drops to the ground immediately. If it’s possible, his lips turn down more. The slight movement makes my heart skip a few beats and my stomach cartwheel.
Staring at him, I now fully understand the allure of hate-fucking. I want him to hate-fuck me until I’m walking funny. No, I’m lying, because the more I look at him the more I remember Pippa’s mouth on his.
I slam my ass down into my seat and fold my arms across my chest. His eyes pop up and glance a little too long at the swell of cleavage that peeks out of my shirt. My cheeks burn hotter.
Gail has the interns cowering in the corner, yelling about some social media incident, when someone sitting at the conference table starts humming a song. I smooth down my hair and try to keep my attention focused on the opposite wall, straight ahead of me. This way I can kind of see what Dex is doing but not stare directly at him.
I’m impressing myself with my sleek surveillance skills when I notice a few more people join in on the humming.
