The color of his face drains, leaving him pale and unsure. He opens his mouth to speak but says nothing and rubs his hand over the nape of his neck.
“I’m sure you have a ton of work to finish.” I point to my computer screen and smile tightly. “I know I’m swamped.”
He faces blanches more. My eyes dart back and forth between his eyes and his lips, watching the thousands of warring expressions struggling across his handsome features. I can feel my own lips tremble, and without thinking I blurt, “Maybe we can have lunch or something…” My voice dies out, stunned those words could have escaped my mouth. I’m supposed to be staying away from him, protecting my heart from any more damage, not tittering on the edge to see how close I can get to the fire.
“Yes!” he blurts. “Lunch. Today. Me and you. Yes.”
Oh, this cannot end well. It seems ninety-nine percent innocent, but oh, that one percent, that’s the part that’s frightening. Dex steps backward, his smile crooked and sexy, and waves. “Twelve?”
I nod, not able to summon words. What the hell have I done? I can’t have lunch with Dex. I can’t spend time with him, eating and laughing and staying in love.
Julia bolts into my cubicle when he’s out of earshot. “Are you crazy? I thought you were quitting him, cold turkey!”
My head bobbles back and forth, I’m still shocked by the words that came out of my mouth. “I don’t know what happened. What could have possessed me to ask him to go for lunch?”
She leans close to me, “Your vagina. You were possessed by your vagina. I saw it with my own eyes. Dex is a beaver whisperer.”
“Shut up,” I hiss, slapping her hands away from me. “Seriously, what the hell am I going to do? I can’t go to lunch with him. I can’t. All I want to do is touch him.” I grab her by the shoulders and rattle her a bit. “I keep forgetting about his girlfriend and his child. I’m a monster.”
“A horny one,” she whispers.
“Jules,” I whine.
“Oh stop, what do you think is going to happen? You both go to a diner and he takes you in front of the lunch crowd? Jane, you’re such a—”
“Don’t you dare call me a Plain Jane,” I growl. “I had doggy-style sex with Dex in front of everyone at workandonline; do you know that we’re still trending on Porn Hub? Plain Janes don’t do things like that.”
“I was not going to call you a Plain Jane,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Look, it doesn’t matter. I just can’t go to lunch with him. I need to stay away from him, because if that paternity test comes back positive, it’s going to kill me.”
Her expression softens, “Yeah, I understand. What are you going to do, though? You just invited him out.”
“Come with us.”
“No way.”
“Please.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because what does me being there do? Nothing!”
“Shoot, you’re right. I need to hide.I’ll just hide. I’ll pretend to use the bathroom and hide for a while.”
“Jane. I think you lost it. You need to go and talk to someone.”
“What, why?”
“Because you’re not twenty years old anymore, and people our age don’t do stuff like hiding out in bathrooms to not face past relationships.”
I sigh, my shoulders slumping. “You’re right,” I huff. “I’ll hide in the supply room.”
“That’s so not what I meant.”
“Whoa, oh wow. Don’t look now, but Nate’s coming.” I point over her shoulder. “There’s a stunning, skinny blonde walking next to him.”
